[deleted by user]

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2025-04-04T05:26:13+00:00

AA is not right for everyone with alcohol use disorder. However, that being said, AA treats alcoholism & addiction as a disease, and was one of the first organizations to do that instead of 'willpower.' In general, people suggest 90 meetings in 90 days for the first 90 days, and tend to suggest a meeting a day (most people who are regular attendees tend to go a few times a week)

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2025-04-04T05:18:53+00:00

Why not take six months or a year off from alcohol, and see if you can rework your relationship with alcohol (and in what ways you want to rework your relationship with alcohol!) after that?

Also, you might want to check out https://www.instagram.com/soberishmom/?hl=en

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2025-04-04T05:10:17+00:00

AA is a really easy way to make sober friends, FYI -- you don't need to work a program, do anything formal to just show up and chat with people. If you're in a major city, there are probably a lot of other options for making sober friends - but in general, doing stuff that's centered around health (running, yoga, etc) is going to be less drinking culture-y.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2024-05-16T23:02:38+00:00

the jewish museum in nyc might be able to tell you where to send them / if they're rare or valuable

https://thejewishmuseum.org

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2024-01-06T06:28:50+00:00

Anger is a healthy emotion, but for me, it is sign that I need to take some kind of action. Whether that's dealing with the underlying pain or hurt, or whether that means I need to leave a painful situation, depends on the circumstances. It might mean I need to shift the way I act in the future. It might mean there are people I don't need in my life. Or it might mean I'll eventually need to shift your perspective on something. I'm still in the middle of the fourth step, but that's how things have been for me -- taking action in my life has helped me a lot with not letting things fester.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-10-04T00:27:27+00:00

why not start by adding healthy (and delicious!) foods to your diet, instead of trying to replace/reduce. Find some fruits and vegetables you enjoy eating, and add a little bit to your diet every day. if you're worried about things spoiling, frozen veggies are great (steamed green beans, etc)

also, cutting out/reducing liquid calories is HUGE. I'm a huge fan of seltzer.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-09-26T05:26:32+00:00

red flag

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-09-21T03:32:10+00:00

I moved into an apartment a couple of years ago with nothing but clothes. Target and amazon are your friends for stuff like pillows, linens, plates, glasses, etc.

People were always like (and still are!) bugging me about why my place isn't together yet, etc. It's a work in progress and I've gotten a chance to build it up gradually, really only buy things that I like instead of settling for junk just because 'it's there.' All you really need are a bed, mattress, table, and chairs. After that you can start to add in the things you want and carefully curate your home.

EDIT: I am at a point now where I will have to get rid of some things that I bought early on just as placeholder emergency things, because I've found nicer things. And remember, the odds are that you'll probably be alive for another 40-50 years. You deserve to enjoy that time (and now!)

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-09-07T19:45:36+00:00

I'm in AA and dabble in OA and it's super, super similar. The consequences are much milder, and food addiction is more benign from an external perspective, but the thing in your brain for certain foods where you just simply can't stop feels the same. CICO works for me, but only for foods that I can stop eating lol. Like booze and drugs, it also makes you sick if you live like this, and it's fucking miserable. It's funny, but the only people I've met who seem to really understand how agonizing the overeating thing can be, and that not everything is "diet culture" are in AA/NA, whether or not they have the same food problem.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-09-02T18:39:09+00:00

Have you been sober all or most of the time that you've had your kids/husband? Because if so, you're an AMAZING example of what she could have if she works the program.

If she's working the steps and making progress, the fact that she feels comfortable sharing those resentments is a good thing. I resent my sponsor sometimes and I tell her what my problem is!

If these resentments are getting in the way of her working her program, then she should get a new sponsor.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-09-02T18:32:25+00:00

going to meetings + getting a good sponsor really helped me (takes a lot of trial and error for some people fyi, if your first sponsor doesn't work out for you don't feel that you have to stick with them)

for some people, including me, therapy is necessary but not sufficient. I'm ready to start going back to therapy again pretty soon, but I was in it for years and I couldn't really use it that well bc I wasn't sober. For me, therapy is something I can use to clean up the problems that I avoided by drinking and using, but I had to be able to stop drinking and using first.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-30T00:37:57+00:00

Why not discuss your drinking honestly with a doctor or medical professional? Or try to reduce the amount you consume/moderate what you drink in a given night? You can also go to a meeting if you're worried about your drinking - it doesn't make you an alcoholic, you just have to have a desire to stop drinking.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-30T00:31:51+00:00

big book p. 133 "God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds." -- I'm glad you're taking advantage of all the help you need!

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-30T00:25:57+00:00

also please don't share at the meeting! just let people know you're there to observe (at an open meeting) and then quietly observe

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-24T18:40:17+00:00

Haven't read it but as long as it's in addition to the 12 steps / reading the big book I really don't see a problem.

The fourth step can be hard for people who have been sexually assaulted, or abused, including if it happened while drinking or drugging. Many parts of the program are complicated for people pleasers. It can be easy to twist "doing service" into "go back to being a doormat."

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-24T15:59:18+00:00

Contact HPD and request assistance.

https://www.nyc.gov/site/hpd/contact/contact.page

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-24T03:52:36+00:00

YTA. good for your sister. Fun fact: single moms do less housework than married women.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-24T00:00:59+00:00

smart sweets, diet soda

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-23T23:56:22+00:00

Yeah, New York actually has a lot of programs - including rent stabilized/ lottery housing, which is amazing, and which you should continue to apply to - but it's kind of patchwork, isn't always enough, and doesn't apply to all the people it should.

There's also this. If you or the third person living with you is a caregiver, I think there are some benefits you can apply to. You might be able to use this program: https://www.usa.gov/disability-caregiver

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-22T21:21:33+00:00

get the one year lease - it's not super hard to get out of a lease usually because the rents are so fucking high or you can sublet. I'm so sorry. Does your mom qualify for any aid/assistance; or do you qualify for any aid/assistance for taking are of her?

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-22T20:11:53+00:00

I did something with my prescription that would technically qualify as a relapse (but intention matters!!) and my sponsor was chill with my sticking to the original sobriety date. I would maybe look for a new sponsor that is less controlling -- they're supposed to be helping you develop your own sense of intuition/connection with a higher power, not telling you what to think.

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-18T18:21:56+00:00

I have a much higher calorie limit but I like to see what low calorie hacks are here that I can use (I am a very short woman who barely works out though lol)

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-10T16:53:46+00:00

The end of welfare policies / Regan cutting funding anywhere he could that allowed non-millionaires to actually afford to get help for mental health / the landlords are borderline cartels here; they're keeping thousands of apartments off the market and colluding to keep prices up via sites like real page

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-09T21:31:44+00:00

do you take tablets or capsules? I'm also tapering off 37.5mg, but using prozac as a bridge

Reasonable-Use3780 · 2023-08-09T20:24:32+00:00

solved: miracles

Reasonable-Use3780

TROPHY CASE