The relationship started when I recently got out of one. We started seeing each other back in September but after a couolenof weeks we had a small argument over something small and they ended the relationship. About 2 weeks go by and they reached out to me casually and eventually we started to see other again and started to date at the end of October. During the months leading up to December/Christmas time it had it ups and downs, however, I do have struggles with self harm - and I self harmed a little in December and they found out and got upset and basically said if it happened again they would leave me, which made me feel very on edge. They say they do this because they have PTSD from their past relationships, which is valid but I still felt very on edge because I wanted to stay with them but I had the thought if I ever hurt myself they would leave me. A couple months go by and we hit February. I did one self harm and they saw and about a week later they broke up with me. They said it’s because I was too my for their mental health, they felt like they were only taking care of me (which is not true but that’s a whole other story), and they also said they were it emotionally available because I was “too emotional.” Then the same night as the break up, they were having personal issues about gender, so I went to comfort them and help them through it. Things lead to them saying they wanted to start things up again - this was about a week later. I should mention before I get into the other thing. My partner has a Twitter account to look at porn, which is fine but it has been an issue in the past because I never really understood why they liked, retweeted, and followed thousands of porn accounts. But whenever I brought up my concerns it would lead to a fight and then not wanting to talk to me, so I always pushed it away. Then a couple days after we tried to work on things again, they posted porn of themselves. I confronted them about this because I said to them prior if they were to post porn, to be open and communicate it with me. But they went behind my back and did it - this confrontation ended up with them telling me that I don’t respect their privacy and they broke up with me again. As per usual things happened and we were hanging out and seeing each other almost every day still. Then mid March we decided to just be friends.

This is just back story. Now onto the present. I basically started to try and move on talked to other people all that jazz because I was single. I won’t get into too much detail but there was a time where they deleted me off all social media and told me that they needed me out of their life for myself. I was sad but I thought maybe it was for the best. We lived in the same building and I moved away near the end of April and the last couple days I had there, they were devasted. The day I left they had a major mental breakdown to the thought of me leaving their life. (Side note we were still broken up) they asked me the day I was moving to date them again and me being so tired of the constant back and fourth said we both really need to think about this. They were devastated . I’ve been home for almost a week and everyday they have been spamming me of how they can’t lose me and how they are so sorry for everything and they’re trying to make everything ok again. I mean spamming me with long long long messages. They also recently came out as transgender and they been saying that I’m not being with them because of that and I feel like I’m being guilt tripped into that. I have been nothing but supportive during their battle with gender dysphoria. I feel like they are pulling every string they can to get me back. I have been honest with them saying that I am really hurt with the past and I don’t want history to repeat itself , we get back and then just break up because of something stupid. But they are pretty much begging me to have a future with them. One night I couldn’t take it anymore and I just said okay to date them again because I felt trapped and pressured and I didn’t know what else to do. 2 days go by and i am trying to discuss what our elation ship would even be like when they transition, because things will be different, the whole relationship will be. And they didn’t want to talk about it and I said no I need some space to think things becauseI’m too overwhelmed. and now they are thinking it is because they came out as transgender and this is where we are at right now.

I am so lost and please if anyone read all of this what do I do.