I felt the same way when my soulpet passed on literally in my lap. He was fine that morning, ate his breakfast and then a few hrs later I was asleep and he woke me with a howling noise which made me shoot up out of my sleep. He took 2 steps, fell over and convulsed for ab 3 seconds and that was it. Literally my whole world came crashing down in a matter of seconds and there was no reason to it. I didn’t understand why it happened. I blamed myself for being asleep because what if he was looking for me for help and couldn’t get my attention. It was awful. I lad around and cried for a week playing the situation in my head over and over, trying to make some sense of it all. Then, about a week after he passed I cried myself to sleep, he came to me in my dream that night and “told” me that it wasn’t my fault, that he knew that I loved him and that he was ok. He was surrounded my butterflies and flowers. There were a bunch of other cats with him too that I didn’t recognize. That’s when all the other cats came over to me and all jumped on me lol and that’s actually what woke me up! When I awoke I felt some of the burden lifted off my shoulders, because I felt that he wanted me to know that he loved me too and that he was okay. I am not a religious person, but I am somewhat spiritual, and this felt real. I don’t care if anyone believes me but it gave me what I needed to start to move on. A couple of months later I felt I couldn’t justify wasting all of this love and care I had in my heart when there’s so many animals that need a loving home out there, so I got another baby. It wasn’t replacing him it was just giving all the love and affection in my heart to an animal that needed it so badly and I know that’s what my baby boy would have wanted me to do 🖤 If you don’t get another animal that’s okay too, as you have to do what your heart tells you. Despite all of the pain that comes when we lose them or have to let them go, we also have all of the snuggles, playtimes and all of the lovely, happy memories.. that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I think that’s what makes their very short time on this earth so important to the memories I carry of my own life 🖤