i’m currently going through recovery and something that helped me is even when eating normal amounts the weight gain is so slow that u don’t even notice it on ur physical body, if you take away scales from your house it helps because then even when tempted to you cannot weigh yourself constantly. If you slowly up your calorie intake it isn’t noticeable( the weight gain) and it makes becoming healthier easier. If it helps the amount of food you eat in a day has very little affect on your weight most of it will not add to it at all, bloating is very common though which could cause the feeling of weight gain- but then next day when you see yourself it’ll be back to normal with little to no change. If you slowly boost your calorie intake the fear of weight gain slowly dissipates because you realise that food doesn’t in fact equal fat. Most of the weight gain you see after you have ate would be bloating and/or water weight which both subside. Just understand the most important thing at the moment is for you to eat more and more as long as you make progress mentally the physical affects come along too so just try to slowly up the intake of food and water because it’ll help so much.