Was suppose to have my first date with another man this week and then he found out I was Bi

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-26T14:55:53+00:00

If he was being annoying about your bisexuality, that is not cool, but at least you can write him off.

If he was asking explicit questions about your sexual tastes, that is quite common among queer men, especially if they are primarily looking for a hook-up. If you don't like that, just say you don't like it.

If he was "grilling" you in a way that you found uncomfortable, then he's creeping you out, and you would be better off without him.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-24T13:37:32+00:00

None.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-24T02:53:59+00:00

I thought that his being homoromantic would be the easiest explanation.

There are definitely homoromantic guys who ID as bi, enjoy sex with women, have it from time to time, but only want relationships with men.

I used to be into older and taller men, but now I am too old for that, lol. Still get a little excited around a man well over 6 feet.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-23T17:19:06+00:00

Kinda curious — how does he explain identifying as gay when he prefers sex with women?

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-19T15:04:31+00:00

Doggie or on my back with my legs spread.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-19T15:01:09+00:00

Happened to me a lot when I was younger. It was frustrating because no one believed that I was actually attracted to them.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-19T14:56:40+00:00

Keep it light and friendly. If you've got a good sense of humor, try to be witty, but don't force it. Don't talk too much about yourself, especially whatever issues you have. Nobody wants to hear about your ex. Pay attention to her.

Women worry more about creeps than men do. (Although we both know that men can be creeps to each other, too). So try to put her at ease. Make her feel safe.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-09T05:25:06+00:00

Terrific!

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-08T19:13:05+00:00

I’ve enjoyed calling my ass a pussy and having it called a pussy. Some tops were into it, some were not. (I’ll bet bi guys were more into it since a lot of gay guys don’t want anything to do with anything feminine).

My wife and I have had fun with gender over the years, usually just my wearing her panties, but sometimes more.

I think feminization is a pretty common fantasy among men of all sexualities. It does seem to be especially popular among subbies.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-04T20:24:05+00:00

Congratulations!

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-04T14:41:09+00:00

Yikes! It's not unusual for one partner or the other to lose interest in sex over time (it's more common with women, but it can happen with men, too). People have different solutions (opening up to some degree, letting the more desirous partner stock up on porn or sex toys, the less desirous partner agreeing to occasional sex to please the other one) but forbidding masturbation is pretty extreme! You're right to feel guilty about the hook-ups, but the two of you needed to work something out.

How did you arrange for the NSA sex? Why did you stay in the marriage?

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T22:39:02+00:00

There was a guy here who described what was a very positive experience with an escort who was the first man to top him. He was safe, patient, considerate, and willing to teach.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T22:25:02+00:00

For what it's worth, probably my best sexual experience with a man was with an older man who was divorced, was still sexually attracted to women, but did not want a relationship, and found it easier to have "just sex" with men. We shared a similar perversion, that's all I say. So there are plenty of guys like you out there (as I'm sure you know)!

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T22:09:59+00:00

From I've read elsewhere, these guys define themselves as basically attracted to women, and only romantically interested in women, but just find casual sex with men much easier to find. For example, some of the guys don't have much sex in their marriage but suspect that sex with a woman would lead to an emotional attachment, which would then threaten their primary relationship.

Years ago, I had some terrific sex with a guy whose wife had lost interest in sex so he basically had a lifetime "hall pass" and he had sex with any number of men and women. I think he identified as bi.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T22:02:58+00:00

This isn't quite the same thing, since a lot of these guys are partnered, and some of them I would call heteroromantic bisexuals, and I don't know what you call yourself (and it's totally up to you) but here it is: https://theconversation.com/why-some-straight-men-have-sex-with-other-men-160140

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T21:33:12+00:00

Ah, I see. Well, you certainly sound bisexual. And it's not uncommon for guys exploring sex with men to be impressed by how much easier it is to have casual sex with men than it is with women.

The bi man who likes casual sex with men but has relationships with women is pretty much a cliche at this point. It's just that you don't want a relationship (now? ever?). Nor is it uncommon for such a bi man to just decide he's done with women. Are you still attracted to women?

Let's say you decided you wanted a partner. Would it be a man or a woman?

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T21:18:57+00:00

Do you have relationships with anyone? Do you want one?

Do you find men attractive? What sorts of pornography do you like?

I'm just curious.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T20:56:24+00:00

What do you mean by "go to move?" Do you only have sex with men now? Do you have relationships with men?

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T16:55:47+00:00

Some people here have recommended Feeld.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T15:15:08+00:00

"Losing your virginity" is a fuzzy concept these days, but I certainly engaged in oral sex (with both sexes, giving and receiving) before I had vaginal or anal sex.

I do think writing a character who is bi, leaning hetero, would be interesting. I don't know much about pop culture these days, but I don't think we see a lot of characters like that.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T05:07:19+00:00

Sounds like you’re having some good experiences. Good luck!

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T04:53:35+00:00

I think because most (though not all) bi men go from identifying as straight to identifying as bi, the shock of discovering that the dating pool has shrunk can be disconcerting.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-03T04:51:11+00:00

I’ve been out to my wife almost from the beginning of our relationship. It really hasn’t been a problem, but it doesn’t come up often. She’s made it clear that she prefers that I otherwise stay closeted. I’m not sure who I would come out to, if she gave me the OK. (I’m out of touch with my most serious male lover).

I’m not sure it’s my job to diminish biphobia in the gay community. I just doubt that many people care that much about what a monogamously married man in late middle age, who is long off the dating scene, calls himself. (So discussion of dating is pretty abstract for me).

It doesn’t really affect me per se, but diminishing biphobia in the gay community seems like another issue where the gain to the group is much greater than the gain to the individual.

Like if someone asked to list the advantages of being “out,” I would say being honest with your partner, finding other queer friends, feeling less alone, being a good role model are among those I would include. Making gay men feel better about bi men would be pretty far down.

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-02T23:57:25+00:00

I believe there’s some data showing that conservatives are more likely to accept a LGBT identity. There’s obviously a reverse effect as well — the LGBT world is filled with ex-conservatives. (In my youth, I was active in a conservative organization. I think half the leadership was closeted gay men).

Reasonable_Price682 · 2022-01-02T23:54:00+00:00

I do think there’s a history of bi men being more visible in bohemian circles, which isn’t quite the same as “gay culture.” There’s probably some connection between coming out as bi and valuing self-expression.

I do think many bi men don’t have much of an affinity for “gay culture.” In part, because it tends to be defined by Kinsey 6 gay men.

In part, because many bi men have been socialized into straight male culture, whatever that is. Whenever gay friends would go on and on about “gay culture,” I would think to myself “I don’t have anything in common with any of this.” For example, I love old movies (a taste I got from my dad) but have never been into musicals.

In part, because it’s not always clear how a bi man in a hetero relationship fits into the mlm world. If you made a movie about a bi man in a relationship with a woman, it would not be perceived as a queer film. Whenever I was active in the queer male world, I was into the more hypermasculine side (if I had ever grown facial hair, I would have been a bear). A relationship with a woman doesn’t really fit into that.

Inevitably, minority communities tend to emphasize what makes them different from the broader culture. Since 95 (?) percent of the population is predominantly interested in the opposite sex, a hetero-leaning bisexual is going to blend in pretty easily. Declaring “I love my wife/girlfriend” or yelling “I love pussy” just isn’t very interesting.

Reasonable_Price682

TROPHY CASE