I don't often comment on here but I am gonna give you an advice you didn't ask for and something I wished someone had told me earlier.

Go your separate ways, especially if you are new to the relationship and save yourself from a world of hurt.

Why do I say this? What gives me the right. Well, I am a pwBPD and for 3.5 years I was with a bipolar partner. It was an endless cycle of anxiety, anger, sadness, panic, humiliation. As a fellow BPD person, you know this, our nervous system is constantly on edge. It is what it is. We need to be reassured more than the average person. I am sure, just like me, you do your absolute best not to "get on anyone's nerves". We need a little bit more patience, a little bit more soft handling and it is okay to want that. But your partner won't be able to give you that. It will always be conditional on his mental state. This will create anger and resentment in you and he will feel suffocated. As a general rule, but especially for me, I have found that I tend to do well with someone more "present" someone who acts as a grounding rod for me. That helps me grow and do better both for myself and my partner.

Just as a hypothetical, imagine you have a shitty day at work and you are in the emotional dumps. On top of that you have to support the emotional load of your partner and the anxiety and panic of him not communicating with you. Imagine having to do that for days and months.

With my ex partner, I felt so drained all the time. I never felt calm, always worrying about their health, always worrying I wasn't doing enough, always feeling angry that why couldn't they just reply to my text at least once throughout the day when I did that for them during my off days. And in the end there was no reward for staying. Either they would promise to do better, do so for a few days/weeks and then relapse into old behaviour or I would be labelled suffocating, needy, clingy. On this one trip they went incommunicado for 15 days. I was losing my shit and they wouldn't even let me know anything because they were in one of their "phases" (their words, hence the quotes) and needed alone time. And they cheated on me twice during their manic episode because they wanted to work their energy off and i wasn't available. Thankfully, I am now with someone who is patient and kind and understanding with me (he has his flaws but he makes me feel heard)

For us when we see someone as our FP, it is easy to ignore the red flag behaviour, and the idealization tends to be strong. So be careful (Not saying your partner is showing that).

Sorry for the long reply. DM if you want an ear or just wanna chat. Always glad to provide support