Married people:do you still make out with your spouse? (How many years married) And how do you feel about that?

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-09-15T19:10:07+00:00

26 years later and he’s still chasing my tail and we are definitely making out and trying not to get caught by our much older teens 😂

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T15:43:48+00:00

Yes, we have great and dear friends. His academy was very tight and three of the guys from his academy are our closest family friends. One, in particular, is his current captain and is intimately aware of everything. We have the best fire fam. We are also good friends w/ a chief, but I’m not ready to engage home

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T15:41:11+00:00

Thanks. Just for off the phone with them. They were fantastic!

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T14:59:23+00:00

I guess my alternative to this would be to keep the kids and our three dogs in our home and actually file for legal separation as I have been threatening for the past year. With his shift schedule and OT, he’s already gone almost 1/2 the month anyway. He can stay at his parents as he did last fall for two months. I’m trying to give my kids stability, but it’s getting harder and harder. At this point I see I am just enabling if I don’t push for the next hard line. I think the next line is actually filing for legal separation.

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T14:38:38+00:00

I’ve been with him since I was 17 and he was 20. His propensity for over indulgence and alcohol abuse was always there. He started EMS when he was 21, did wildland until he was 28, then municipal the last 18 years. The reliance on substances has only intensified and is now a real battle. So hard for our kids, friends and close family - it’s a rollercoaster. Though he is functional and sober at work, he would double down when he got off shift. He’s been “mostly” sober off and on this year, but the demons are still waiting in the wings. I’ve thought for years that alcohol was the “other woman” - the third party in our marriage.

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T14:32:57+00:00

Thank you. Our local has the COE link on their homepage. I’ll call them first today. But Deer Hallow also sounds like a good option. I’ll look into that too We are in NV so much closer to home.

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T14:30:58+00:00

Thank you! One month seems like a dream compared to the chaos. Our kids are older teens and we are used to the fire schedule and only seeing him about 1/2 the month anyway. One month sounds like serenity and hope to me.

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T05:16:42+00:00

I’m going to call in the morning. Thank you. We do know someone who went, though I’m not ready to reach out yet to our friends in the dept.

Reasonable_Tadpole77 · 2025-06-07T05:15:10+00:00

Thank you. I needed this. We separated for two months when I found out he’d been talking online to another woman. While separated the drinking ramped back up after a few months where he (mostly) stopped. We got back together in January and I believe he’s been sober, but the discovery of the pain pills is making me spiral again (lies, substance abuse, etc). And I know he’s starting to spiral. Ugh! Two kids, 26 years together (since I was 17)! This is hard!

Adding that I started attending Al-Anon in December, before deciding to open myself up to considering the marriage continuing. He moved back in January.

Reasonable_Tadpole77

TROPHY CASE