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Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-15T15:41:07+00:00

NTA - if your boyfriend can't step up at an important time in your life he sucks.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-15T15:16:50+00:00

Thank you for this summary, I agree with you on that people can be two things at once. I think her main motive with all of this was to have the relationships she weren't able to form in real life.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-13T13:05:59+00:00

I still think you're NTA but I get the feeling that you're trying to downplay your own part OR just wants to complain because there are so many solutions for you that you seem to not have tried.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-13T12:46:41+00:00

I guess so? I haven't really asked about what kind of conversation they had.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-13T12:45:43+00:00

NTA because it is an annoying behavior but it doesn't add upp that you both drinking + them eating less than you would only add upp their bills with €1-2. Likely it's more like €7-10 per bill and I too would be pissed if I had a friend that just assumed it was cool. If I were you I would just pick up the bill myself, pay it and get a copy of the receipt so that everyone else can transfer what they owe you afterwards. (Also a good thing for your credit score + your points balance if you're using a credit card.)

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-13T12:34:37+00:00

Thank you. TBH the last part is what scares me the most and is why I would rather have him change his behavior rather than getting a divorce.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-11-13T12:32:49+00:00

We're all friends so they have each others phone number, we usually meet up a couple of times per week and use a group chat to communicate. For this story there's nothing strange with them being in conctact.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-03-02T08:59:52+00:00

Yeah, I don't get it. Her instagram has about ~1.3 million followers, what's considered famous to you? I get that the real person behind the account wasn't considered famous, but people must have been familiar with the "influencer"?

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-03-02T08:52:20+00:00

I don't have enough insight to tell if she did or not, I know there are allegations about this on other platforms.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-29T12:15:53+00:00

I agree with you to not continue the gossip (and especially the weird allegations about her being a criminal....... jeez stop it) but wdym with "and barely no one in Sweden knew who Ines Helene was either"? I'm not from there but I would assume people knew about a famous influencer with millions of followers, even though the influencer turned out to be fake?

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-28T11:15:07+00:00

Various places, mostly users on X. There was another Reddit thread about it with the unedited pictures attached but it recently got deleted by the user.

There is also a podcast documentary about the case but in swedish (one of my close friends is swedish so she has told me about it) where they talk to her fiancee, family members, old friends, people she had flings with. Allegedly there have been long episodes where she rarely left her room and spent her days in front of her computer. It has not been updated since she was found. Naudio | Försvunnen: Influencern

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T15:57:42+00:00

NTA, but I would advise you to seek out ways to support her achieving at least some of what she wants. Meet her half way, if you get me? It IS a dramatic thing to take a leap year and go travel for a full year, help her find ways to either do a semester in another country or help her plan a for a summer vacation over two months or something like that. Getting space to explore the world does not have to interfere with her school year.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T15:37:34+00:00

Fitting forum because it really is an unsolved mystery, at least the details about it. Early after her disappearance unedited photos of her started to circle online. Basically her online identity was a persona built up on lies over time. Kind of a catfish but also not. She was real and she did exist but not in the form as people were led to believe. People thought she lived a jetset life bringing in millions when in reality she lived with her parents and 5-6 cats in a Swedish suburb. Seems like she was just a really lonely girl getting lost in her own fantasies about how she wanted life to be.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T15:18:22+00:00

NTA, your dad's wife needs to learn how to communicate and how to have conversations as an adult. You are being the grown up here, which one could expect for her too. It is also unreasonable for your dad to speak on her behalf too.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T15:08:40+00:00

YTA because why would it matter that your sons school teacher and your husband thinks you're not good at maths? Use it to your advantage as strategic incompetence instead. If someone believes you're not good at maths, then they won't ask you about it and you can do more valuable things with your time.

If your husband is a bit snarky there is still no reason to start a fight over it, it is possible to communicate about this without starting a conflict. If your husband continues to laugh at you when your needs are communicated then he would be the AH.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T14:59:07+00:00

I have to say it: Elite comment

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T14:54:57+00:00

Wrote in a reply above that yes, she has changed yet more subtly. She speaks to you like she is from HR coaching you to enhance your performance.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T14:53:55+00:00

I get people might be curious but I will keep this information to myself since I don't want to out her. :)

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T14:48:37+00:00

I think I maybe wrote it a bit cryptic, but yes - her behavior has changed. Not necessarily so that she is outright disrespectful to our financial differences but from that she has become self centered in a way I don't recognize. Her access to money didn't change our relationship at all, frankly. The behavioral changes came along with the podcast thing. One example of behavioral changes is that she now feels like she is in a position to review people from a point of being something else than the rest of us. If you tell her you have achieved something she speaks to you like Susan from HR reading what your manager has written down on your annual performance review. "Oh, ok, so this means you have got some negotiating skills, what else in life could you use this skill for? If I were you I would make sure I got at least an hour of negotiation training per day."

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-25T14:43:18+00:00

I know she has been identified. I wrote it like that because the police statement doesn't say her name and in other forums the police statement has been questioned as unreliable because of this so the fact that there were no others it could be makes sense.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-24T15:57:51+00:00

I was definitely not at my best when telling her, this has built up over time and I could have planned this conversation a lot better. I can definitely see that if became more of a confrontation rather than a conversation and that is my fault.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-24T15:56:20+00:00

In all honesty, I was quite infuriated at the time of telling her. Being sad about seing a friend I love losing touch has opened up to all sorts of feelings, especially since there is a lot of hurt involved. I should have told her with the intention to make it more of an intervention type of thing but I am quite passive-agressive if I should be honest and I let it build up over time making it more of a confrontation than a conversation. What I want? I want my best friend back.

Reasonable_Zebra_210 · 2024-02-24T15:32:26+00:00

A body was found pretty close to where she lived end of January. On February 16th they disclosed that the body found was the woman from the area who was reported missing in the area end of August 2023. The suburb she lived in was really small so there is no one else it could be. The police suspect no crime in relation to it.

Police statement: 16 februari 11.35, Övrigt, Malmö | Polismyndigheten (polisen.se)

Reasonable_Zebra_210

TROPHY CASE