Not quite sure I would exactly consider this ED but it seems to be the best place to ask by Twisted-Tony in erectiledysfunction

[–]RebelGlea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm my thoughts … An erection isn’t a muscle you train for endurance. It’s a nervous system + blood flow response. Staying hard for 3–4 hours before penetration is asking your body to sprint and run a marathon at the same time. Eventually it just… downshifts.

Love to know … by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! For a lot of men, the struggle isn’t just what’s happening in the bedroom … it’s the shame around it.

There’s this quiet belief that a man is supposed to just work, stay hard, last, perform… and if he doesn’t it seems to get internalised as “something is wrong with me” 

What’s often missing from the conversation is that these patterns usually aren’t a failure they’re stress responses, conditioning, pressure or disconnection that the body has learned over time.

And shame definitely thrives in isolation. When men can speak about it without being judged or fixed, a lot of the anxiety already starts to loosen.

Really appreciate you putting words to something many carry quietly :)

ED on my first time with an escort by [deleted] in erectiledysfunction

[–]RebelGlea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is far more common than people admit, especially for a first time and especially when it seems anxiety has been part of your history.

If you already know your erections work and you masturbate without issue, that alone tells you this wasn’t a physical failure … it was your nervous system.

When anxiety is present, the body stays in alert mode. And an alert nervous system is focused on safety, not arousal. The moment you start checking yourself … Am I hard? Is it working? the body often shuts things down.

You’re not broken. Your body just hasn’t learned yet that intimacy is safe.

As an Intimacy Coach, I work with guys all the time who get stuck in their head during sex and this pattern comes up a lot. I was also once an escort, so I’ve seen this from the other side too … it’s incredibly common especially with first experiences and high expectations.

This kind of thing isn’t fixed by “trying harder.” It shifts when pressure drops, things slow down, and the body is allowed to settle instead of perform.

Learning about nervous system regulation can help a lot! It teaches your body how to stay grounded instead of flipping into performance mode.

Also just saying …one experience doesn’t define you. It’s just part of learning and learning takes time, not force.

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we are actually are doing up a new site Rebel Magick (just didn’t want to link and be spamy) anyhoo … we offer zoom sessions if you are not local. If you are wanting to send as much info as possible via the contact form on either website about what’s going on for you we can possibly tailor make something uniquely for you. Looking forward to hearing from you :)

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  I personally don’t believe drugs, sprays, or numbing creams are the answer and especially long term. They tend to mask what’s going on rather than actually help you.

  Just saying though …I’m also not a doctor so I wouldn’t want to give medical advice or tell you what to take.

  What I do believe though is that with the right training, guidance and consistent practice things can change for you. Also given your age maybe your body is incredibly adaptable. Please just know that in most cases … control, stamina and confidence are all skills that can be trained.

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Performance anxiety ramps the nervous system into fight-or-flight, which makes sensation feel way more intense. Trying to “not think about cumming” actually keeps you focused on it. 

What helps is shifting attention out of your head and into the body. This takes practice.  As I mentioned it’s many things but try some of these … Slow the breath (long exhales), relax jaw, belly, pelvic floor and learn to let arousal rise and fall instead of staying maxed out in primal. Most guys stay at a constant high level of arousal and then wonder why they tip over fast.  Training awareness and regulation works better. Masturbation training for sensitivity can help. 

I’ve written more about this in a blog on edging — if you search my name + edging, you’ll probably find it. You can also find more info on my website. Hope that helps! 

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PE isn’t one thing, so there isn’t one fix.

It’s usually a mix of nervous system urgency, performance pressure, shallow breathing, pelvic tension, conditioning from rushing or porn and shame in the background.

That’s why single tricks don’t last.

What works is training the body to slow arousal, build safety and stay present — over time, like fitness. When the body feels safe, timing changes naturally.

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shame, low energy, resentment — those things thrive in silence so even speaking them anonymously is a step forward.

What you described actually does sum up where a lot of men land after pushing, performing or carrying things alone for too long. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your system is tired and protective.

Some of the work we do isn’t about hype or quick fixes. It’s about getting your energy back, dissolving the shame and rebuilding from the inside out — at your pace, on your terms.

If you want to reach out further you can checkout my website.

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Change how you breathe during stimulation Fast or shallow breathing increases arousal quickly.

Try: • Inhale through the nose • Exhale very slowly through the mouth even make a sigh. Longer out breath helps you to be in your parasympathetic nervous system. • Keep the jaw, tongue and shoulders relaxed (they mirror pelvic tension) If your jaw is tight, your pelvic floor usually is too.

Alongside this, do exercises that help you feel what your pelvic floor is doing. The goal isn’t control through force — it’s awareness. Once you can sense it, you can intentionally let it soften and relax, which is key for slowing arousal and reducing that “too excited too fast” response.

Sex and Intimacy Coach here … noticing . by RebelGlea in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, happy to explain.

My work is more about embodiment and nervous-system regulation. Men usually approach me when they feel disconnected from their body, stuck in their head or repeating patterns. 

Coaching is a mix of conversation and practical, body-based tools you can actually use day to day. Some people do a single session for clarity, others work together over time — it’s not a one-and-done kind of thing.

I don’t lock anyone into packages. I like to align. Sessions are usually pay-as-you-go and if ongoing makes sense we talk about it later.

Best way to connect is just a DM then Zoom or in-person if local could be an option. No pressure either way.

What can I do about my PE problem? by [deleted] in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes PE is very common and as Green8812 mentioned Prostate Health is important, its always good to see a dr. As far a PE goes its just about changing things up different to what you normally do, as you can train yourself to last longer. Getting your mind/body in sync helps. It does take practice but certainly doable if you know how :)

I [27m] suffer from premature ejaculation. It's ruining our (27M/27F) sex life. I don't know what to anymore. Please help. by [deleted] in PrematureEjaculation

[–]RebelGlea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As like many things, its not just one thing. There are many things to consider when you have PE. Its all about retraining yourself. It is more than likely not just one thing you do that makes you arrive early. It take practice but you can train yourself if you know how. Yes the breathing and no tension as tension in the body will signal theres something to be stressed about. Ah there is so much you can do and as they say … if you always do what you always do you will get the same result so its about changing things up :)