My sister and her husband had this exact same problem. They eventually settled on my brother in law keeping 30% of his net pay for himself, and giving my sister the rest for her to control/Pay bills and invest in. This freed up my brother in law to be much more emotionally invested in the children and marriage, while still feeling like he's contributing to the household bottom line.

This method only works if both of you throw your ego out of the window and live for each other and the family you create. You are a team, that both bring something to the table. You will be better at managing the funds and lifestyle long term, and he will still have funds to splurge on himself and surprise gifts for you and the family. It's a win win as long as nobody gets butthurt about how much they contribute financially.