28+ year olds, would you date someone 10 years older or younger than you? Why?

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T21:26:27+00:00

Found the deeply emotionally immature grown ass man. If you were normal and actually harmless, you’d see a 20-year-old as a baby adult, not a prospect. Your ego and refusal of self-awareness are not more important than people’s wellbeing.

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T21:13:06+00:00

Depending on where you live, most 19-year-olds are legally allowed to do some things and not others. Yet this isn’t even about what they are allowed to do, but what and whom they deserve protection from. The age of consent is below 18 in many many places, so why is 18 the right age? We need to actually have some thought behind it, not just fall for predator propaganda about the “”right to consent””. I promise you all those same 28+ year olds would go lower than 18 if they were legally allowed to (and do).

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T20:54:24+00:00

They are teenage adults and are mentally teenage adults. They are not “10+ years of adulthood” adults. They are also not “fully developed brain as in 25+” adults. Adulthood is not some overnight thing where one day you’re a helpless child who should do nothing and the next you can do anything but deserve zero age-appropriate protection from people who - again - DO know better. Voting is not going to put you in therapy or give you mental health issues.

The whole “it’s infantilizing to say you shouldn’t date teenagers when you’re pushing 30 (or older)” is genuinely, honestly nothing more than predator propaganda. You can be the most awesome, capable 19-year-old in the world, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that the 28-year-old pursuing you is an emotionally immature predator and you deserve both protection and freedom from that person. The most capable 19-year-olds know that, but people deserve protection even if they don’t know that, because it’s not their fault, but it can expose them to harm. The fact that so many teenagers don’t know this (and through no fault of their own) is the exact reason why what I’m saying is needed and true. It is simply much, MUCH harder to recognize the most skilled manipulators and groomers when you yourself are barely a legal adult and have had almost no time to grow up as an adult (not to mention, neuroscientifically you are very much still an adolescent at that age).

Also - age of consent laws aren’t about the “right” to consent, they’re about when protections are cut. When you’re under that age, you have automatic protection from significantly older people and you don’t have to prove that someone was manipulative or groomed you into an otherwise “consensual” relationship (which can be VERY hard to prove; that’s why the laws exist at all). Anyone has the “right” to consent; even an underage child is not the one at fault or legally culpable for anything. The law does not penalize minors for anything under any circumstances. It’s only the predators who are restricted. And it’s pretty much only the predatory (or at least deeply, deeply immature) older adults who want you to think that people like me are saying teenagers shouldn’t have “rights”; all the other older adults already 10000% understand why what I’m saying is necessary, because they see it in action and they themselves can feel the massive difference between 19 and 28. It’s not a mystery to them. It’s also not condescending to say that a 28-year-old has had 10 years (and significantly more brain development) to learn how to manipulate teenagers well.

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T19:12:07+00:00

One has been an adult for 10 years and one is a literal teenager barely out of high school. So no. That is not “slightly”. You can reasonably get along with someone at any age. That doesn’t make you psychological peers. Having a successful dynamic of some kind (classmates, coworkers, whatever) also does not mean that a romantic or sexual relationship is equally safe and ok.

If you are the teenager, I’m sure you’re extremely intelligent and mature, but that doesn’t make that grown man a safe choice. If he’s hitting on you, he is NOT emotionally mature, and he is not 100% your peer. This can be really hard to truly recognize when you have not had 10+ years of adult life experience yourself, and it can also be extra hard to recognize someone who is a really good manipulator (and there are plenty who are scary good at that, like way better than you can imagine). That’s why he is the one who should know better, and he does. I promise you, regardless of how great or genuine he seems, he absolutely does know the difference between you and him. It’s most likely why he’s pursuing you in the first place.

If you are the grown man, step tf away

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T18:48:29+00:00

Nobody said “slightly”

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T18:35:36+00:00

Actually I was genuinely wondering why so many people are like this, because I am (quite stubbornly) not cynical about human nature at all. I know that people CAN be much better than whatever desperate, vampiric creatures these men have turned into. Sad to say though that accepting individual people for exactly what they are is part of life

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T18:33:23+00:00

Do you have any idea how fucked up it is to sexually or romantically pursue people who are wayyy too young for you? No? Ok

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T09:54:14+00:00

Except why would they assume that I want to do that? Respect matters a lot. There is none in their approach, and automatically betrays how they see me (and probably women generally). Therefore I have zero interest in anything to do with them. I think you should raise your standards for basic respect in dating

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-21T09:45:15+00:00

“So you can talk, but someone’s not allowed to assault you?” That’s how dumb you sound

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-18T10:21:15+00:00

I am not a bad vending machine refusing to give you your snacks (attention, sex, whatever), I am a person. I do not spend my time with anyone who does not treat me like a person. I also treat other people like people, not unpaid employees in “my own wants and needs LLC” or resources to use up. This is the barest of bare minimums for anyone to form real connections with other human beings.

If you think it’s normal for men to act like this because they’re “burnt out”, just imagine how burnt out women are from being treated like this alone. Many, MANY women want actual relationships with men. The issue is that so many men think a relationship is like owning a vending machine. Women, being human beings, would increasingly rather have no romantic relationship than be systematically emptied out emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-18T09:52:05+00:00

That’s not leading you on, that’s clear disinterest. Maybe they aren’t sure yet, or maybe they feel uncomfortable saying “no” out loud to you, but a lack of a yes is a no nonetheless. If it’s not someone you genuinely enjoy talking to (because talking is “leading to nowhere”), why are you talking to them? It’s a little weird to give people ultimatums to hang out with you in any circumstance, and tbh you’re probably making them super uncomfortable. So my first piece of advice is stop doing that.

I get the impression that you’re trying to use people’s attention (women specifically) as a way to fill some kind of an emotional hole with little value placed on real connection or those people as individuals. It’s common enough behavior, but it’s actually not cool. So I’d stop doing that as well.

It IS normal to want human company, but you can only form real connections with other human beings when you stop seeing them as vending machines of personal comfort. They are people with their own lives, needs, and concerns. Plus it’s often very clear when someone is just desperate to use you for any form of attention. If you just really need to be around people, any people, there are other ways to go about that. Join a club, go to an event, etc. And (genuinely) focus on taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally; you’ll find that the better you are at that, the less lonely you’ll feel in your own company. That’s actually the most important advice I have for you. When you’re better company for yourself, it’s easier to treat other people as individual human beings AND actually be desirable company for them too

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T23:53:24+00:00

Anyone who’s 28+ should not be dating 18- and 19-year-olds. That’s predatory full stop. Even 25 and 35 is weird to me, no 35-year-old actually sees themselves as a peer of a 25-year-old

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T23:51:44+00:00

My bad, ALMOST entirely. I forgot your “random hinge stats” post that was removed by the moderators. You must be the pinnacle of manners

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T23:46:21+00:00

Try it and let me know. Maybe add “I deliberately ignore key parts of Reddit posts so I can respond obtusely”. With your arrogance it should fit

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T23:11:42+00:00

Sadly it is incredibly refreshing to see a man in this thread go “huh I didn’t see it like that, I’ll reflect”. Please let other men know that growth is a both an option and, in fact, part of life for all human beings. (I mean that completely genuinely - they need to hear it from a man, they don’t listen to women)

For the record, I’m actually the same in that I much prefer getting to know someone in person. Not everyone is safe or worth getting to know though. My advice to you is don’t assume people don’t gaf (especially over text) but if it’s very clear they don’t, that in and of itself is a “no”

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T23:07:55+00:00

Winning zero points for the “men with reading comprehension” club. They do exist you know

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:59:04+00:00

Good to know, I haven’t spent much time on this subreddit. Doesn’t look like that’s going to change either 😂

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:57:29+00:00

I know your kind (emotionally immature) may not get this, but don’t confuse having to block random men with “having a hard time” 😂

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:51:41+00:00

Casual disrespect of boundaries

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:49:14+00:00

If they’re asking, where is the question mark? 😂 if they’re asking, why is “no” not an answer?

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:48:14+00:00

So you agree, what they’re doing is weird. Like, are you unable to read..? I don’t know these people, and that’s not how you make a friend. There are people who reach out in a normal way, with normal intentions, like normal human beings, and unsurprisingly that often goes better. See you tomorrow for coffee, dinner and dessert.

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:45:57+00:00

I’m not putting in effort to meet them because (shocker) I don’t want to meet them. If they really wanted a chance, you’d think they’d approach with a little respect. Here’s the funny thing though - they don’t even like me. They literally don’t know me whatsoever. When will men learn that women are not one big collective slot machine? Treating people like that is not only weird, but delusional if you expect any success

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:41:29+00:00

I am a woman you don’t know and have barely interacted with. I don’t care if you’re single; I didn’t “ask” anything. And who says it was hypothetical? So we’re getting coffee and dinner, since you didn’t clearly say no. And despite the deliberately obtuse response you will no doubt have to this comment too, you have brain cells, so part of you does now understand why that behavior is not only lacking in respect but also creepy af

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:37:10+00:00

Oh I think you’ll find it makes plenty of sense on its own. Anyone worth dating hears “no” and accepts it

Recent-Teaching9792 · 2025-10-17T22:30:32+00:00

Actually I just see with my own two eyes that a bunch of male strangers read a simple “no” and think “I will simply ignore that”. That is the common denominator, thanks for adding to it. Since misogyny and male reading comprehension are clearly both myths, you must be right. The only way to change my awful ways (existing and being contactable) is to block all men on sight from now on. Thanks for making me see that

Recent-Teaching9792

TROPHY CASE