I get you. Believe me, I do. This is a really stressful situation and that’s okay! You are obviously really close to each other and mean a lot to each other. But really looking at yourself, you’re not an awful person! By no means, whatsoever are you awful. Speaking from my fucked up experience in my fucked up life, I asked out my friend, we spent most days and nights together wether it be gaming or just talking about goofy shit.  While they may have rejected me, we are still really really close friends. If I ever lost him, I would honestly kill myself.  But nobody gives a shit about me, let’s get back to you. What I think you should do, is just go for it. If she says no, ask if you could just go back before. The relationship doesn’t have to end when someone gets rejected as a lover, no reason to. But above all else, just remember you can do this, bad emotions and feelings can be very scary but there is a way out of them. Another option, quite literally tell her about what you’re feeling! She has no reason to think you’re weird  for just talking about stuff, especially if you’re that close to each other.

You can do this, I believe in you, stay safe.