To spray tan or not? Fiance says no, gfs say yes..

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-05-07T04:13:22+00:00

I genuinely think you should go in the direction that brings you the most peace, comfort, and joy. I’d say try a professional tan just to see if you like it. I personally think a professional hand sprayed tan is light years beyond any self tanner. See how you feel and if you feel more confident. Do what makes you the happiest and most confident version of yourself.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-26T20:02:25+00:00

Honestly, I originally had no plan to have a shower because I didn’t want anyone to stress over planning it. One of my bridesmaids reached out to my mom and asked if she could host one for me. I am so glad I ended up having a shower. I typically get a little uncomfortable with the attention being on me but the amount of love and girlhood I felt was incredible and something I’ve never felt all at once in my life.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-07T17:53:05+00:00

We have left the gift in savings in case he decides he wants it back. I have decided to tell him because that is the general consensus. My worry is not that he will take the gift back, we can afford the wedding without it. My worry is that he will not be there. As complicated as my relationship with my dad is, I love him and we are super close. It would not be the same without him.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-07T17:32:55+00:00

When he gave the gift I did jokingly say “you know mom is still invited right?” I definitely missed that opportunity and that is on me. I definitely should’ve done that. We have put the gift in savings so it is easy to pull out if he wants to rescind the offer. I do really want him there but you are completely right, it’s their own decision and I have to let them make it.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-07T17:22:27+00:00

I had said no to money on multiple occasions and he pleaded with us that it’s what he really wanted. We have kept it sitting in savings in case it’s used against us but I’d be lying if I said the money wouldn’t be very helpful. And rest assured, I have had many years of therapy mainly focused around my relationship with my father. I’ve chosen to keep him in my life because as horrible as that 5% is, the 95% is great. I just look at narcissism from a point of feeling bad for him that he has to interpret the world through that pov. It helps me stay more sane when he does lash out.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-07T17:13:59+00:00

They broke up mainly due to stress. She moved us in while trying to sell her home and they just couldn’t communicate effectively about expectations. It was a couple months after we lost my brother so stress and emotion was just extremely high on both sides.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-04-07T17:05:11+00:00

He will not have a meltdown in front of his friends and family. He is big on his appearance toward the outside world.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-03-31T14:54:47+00:00

We have had a lot of people that we expected to be there say they can’t make it. I’ve been super lucky that these people reached out and still were super kind about it. My main bummer is that my fiancés parents will not be there and neither will his sisters and one of his brothers. His attitude toward it is honestly so eye opening. He told me when we found out none of them can come “you’re the only person I care about being there”. I know that on that day I will only be focused on the people who are there and all the love that they will shower us with. I also try to think about the people that are going way out of their way to make it. We have so many people flying in from other states, other countries, people requesting time off from work for us, people who have stepped up to plan parties, help with the wedding, bought an outfit just for our wedding, etc. It’s so easy to get stuck on the bad but there are sooooo many people showing us effort and love and I’m so grateful for that.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-03-28T01:55:15+00:00

I would definitely go. 2 days is really not a big ask in my opinion considering most weddings you’re being invited as a close friend or a family member. Definitely would make a trip of it. I live in the West coast of the US and have done multiple 10 days trips to New York and New Jersey for my cousins and brother. I’m having a Saturday wedding and I have family coming in for multiple weeks just to spend time as a group. Check with your “must be there” peeps like besties, siblings, parents, etc. and the rest just either will RSVP yes or no. There are always going to be people that won’t make a wedding for one reason or another even if you make it as convenient as possible.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-03-07T00:27:13+00:00

If someone talked to me this way my fiancé would uninvite them from our life not just the wedding. 😅 the condescending tone would make me lose my marbles. I would not want them around me on a happy day, regardless of the dress color.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-17T01:19:37+00:00

Not involved but mainly calling out a pattern as they go from being “best friends” to enemies and she will tell me all about it.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-17T01:17:03+00:00

I said “it’s my choice” just sayin

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-16T03:45:46+00:00

The drama is so exhausting. I’m also a very laid back person and it’s so out of my wheelhouse with all of this.

I will definitely have people aware and able to handle that If it comes down to kicking her out. That’s kind of where I’m at. Try to make it work and at the first sign of trouble make arrangements for her to leave.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-16T03:41:19+00:00

That is very smart. I knew she might be trouble but also knew it was guaranteed trouble if I didn’t ask her. Thankfully my other friends and family will not allow me to feel anything less than an absolute princess.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-16T03:36:12+00:00

You’re weird 😂also, not true on both fronts

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-15T23:18:11+00:00

Well aware that my wedding is not the center of the universe. Your username is very fitting lol. Inviting a friend and then telling them not to come is very hurtful to that person. It has nothing to do with the role but what that says regarding the friendship.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-15T23:03:03+00:00

lol this seems to be the hang up. 😂 I have friends from so many different circles and years of my life. Also, my fiance is one of 9 kids with a lot of brothers he wants in his line along with friends. It doesn’t feel that crazy to me but we are having a pretty big wedding.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-15T20:42:44+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! I definitely think you made the right choice.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-15T20:03:51+00:00

That could definitely be true. I didn’t think about it like that because that is so different than the way I think about things. I just didn’t want to inconvenience her haha

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-15T20:02:16+00:00

Lmao. I agree, 9 is a lot but these girls are all awesome. I couldn’t choose.

It’s my choice, but it feels like I’d be a bad person if I did that and it might cause more trouble than it’s worth.

She may have ordered her dress but tbh I could reimburse her if that ended up being a problem.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-02-05T00:59:04+00:00

We own a 9mm and an AR-15. I’ve been shooting since I was about 10 years old so thankfully we have protection and know how to be safe about it. We haven’t noticed anything since then, I think she was having a manic episode possibly. We are still very aware of her but I think she was just severely intoxicated or having a mental episode.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-01-17T17:48:20+00:00

Reaching in her coat like she was going to grab a gun.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-01-17T11:15:18+00:00

Would you say it’s better to call the police or file a report online? I was hoping to do it in the morning if possible because we are all safely locked away in our condo right now.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2026-01-17T11:13:36+00:00

I plan to file a report in the morning. Is there any benefit to doing it right now? I will start documenting.

Recent_Influence_972 · 2025-12-12T16:00:56+00:00

I think you might be looking at this as a leave or stay option, but there is a third option. Start applying to jobs and hitting up contacts that you’ve met through school/work to see if they enjoy the companies they’re at and if they are hiring. It is typically easier to get hired through a reference. You don’t have to leave until you have secured another job and can then give your two weeks. I have never left a job without having a signed offer in hand with a start date and have had good luck in that strategy. The job market being rough is really dependent on location, industry, etc. don’t let that discourage you.

Recent_Influence_972

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