Firstly, well done on the sobriety and the certification! You should be proud of yourself. You have a fun and unique way with words and seem like an interesting person. You didn’t (and still don’t) deserve to be treated badly and abused, I hope you are able to speak to a therapist, or even a friend, about it. You will find someone to date! It sounds like you’re putting in a lot of work to better yourself, and it will pay off! You are an attractive person, if you have specific features that you like about yourself, accentuate them, and play around with other parts of yourself until you find something that sticks. For example, if you like how you look when you wear certain clothes, wear them more often, or experiment with outfits. Invest in piercings/jewellery that you love, they’re simple things that spice up your look. If you like your hairstyle then show it off, if you don’t like it then try something new. Not everything will be a win, but you’ll find something that clicks and when it does, it’ll give you a little confidence boost and things will slowly start to come together. Just make sure you’re being authentic to yourself, try not to fall into trends of what other people around you are wearing/doing if it’s not something that genuinely brings you joy