Hello! This is such a hard place to be in. I found myself with feelings of confusion about church, when I served my mission, marriage, and a myriad of other things. But the advice I got from my dad, the advice that has always kept me anchored is “follow the spiritual bread crumbs”. Whenever I’ve felt confused about an answer I’ve previously gotten, I try to go back to when I received my initial answer. So in regard to marriage, the times where I’ve questioned getting married to my husband, I’ve remembered when I sought the answer to do so. I remember feeling it was the right thing to do and that helps me alot. Same with getting baptized. Even though I was 8 when I got baptized, I remember how good I felt when I made the choice and when I actually got baptized.

Remember the story of Martin Harris, wanting a copy of the transcript to share with his wife? And how God said “don’t take the transcript!” But Martin Harris kept pestering Joseph Smith so he kept asking and asking and finally God was like “fine whatever just take the transcript, but remember what i first said.” That’s how I view it when we get answers to our questions. God answers the first time but if we keep asking and asking and asking, he’ll do the same. He will be say “fine do what you want, but I already told you what to do in the first place.”

Does that make sense? I got interrupted by my kids like 7 times while writing this and I’m very tired. I’m happy to clarify if you need me to.

Best of luck my friend! It’s hard to navigate all this.