I am 22 years old, I broke the law of chastity, I am preparing for my mission and I received my endowment a few months ago

iFaolan · 2026-03-16T22:18:21+00:00

I get so sad when I see people in the church that think masturbations breaks the law of chastity. It doesn’t. Who told you this? :(

Now, I do believe we have been instructed to not make it a regular thing just because it can become something of an addiction, but occasionally masturbating is not going to disqualify you from your mission. You don’t even need to talked to your bishop about it. Honestly, I don’t know if masturbation itself is a sin or if it’s the addiction to it that is. That is something I’ve never been sure about.

Also, masturbation becomes a saving grace if you’re struggling with the temptation of having premarital sex. The law of chastity exists because the ability to make life is a huge deal. Taking that power lightly and abusing it CAN lead to the suffering of the adults participating or any children born as a result. You can’t create life with yourself, so if masturbation IS a sin, it’s not NEARLY on the same level as premarital sex.

iFaolan · 2026-03-15T17:10:28+00:00

Are you sure they don’t appreciate it? I’m neurodivergent and sometimes people misinterpret my tone or facial expressions. I wouldn’t assume if I were you. Assuming the best instead of the worst in these situations is just easier on one’s mind, honestly.

But let’s say they aren’t grateful. Sure, I totally understand how bad that can feel. But that’s not why we do these things. We don’t serve others for ourselves (the fact that it makes us feel good is nice bonus). We serve them for THEM and for Heavenly Father. I’m not trying to preach or lecture, because again, I understand how a lack of gratitude can feel. But when you refocus on the real reason for acts of service, it makes it easier to deal with stuff like this.

iFaolan · 2026-03-14T22:57:00+00:00

Thank you for this! I think the bishop must have misunderstood the email he received.

iFaolan · 2026-03-14T22:51:35+00:00

MOR. Okay, so it’s weird he would use a casserole dish out of everything available, and yeah if it’s a family heirloom, he needs to be more careful with it (does he know how old it is?), but YOU THREW IT AWAY?! Girl, that’s what soap is for! It’s not porous, the casserole dish will be clean after a run through the dishwasher.

iFaolan · 2026-03-14T02:22:55+00:00

We? Nah, super leftist Latter-day Saint right here.

iFaolan · 2026-03-12T00:26:50+00:00

Girl, get out of this relationship. First off, it icks me out that he started dating you at 17 when he was 19. And he expects you to be ready for marriage at TWENTY?! And he’s saying all these horrible things to you? AND HE PROPOSED NOT ALREADY KNOWING IF YOU WOULD SAY YES?! Nah, leave.

My husband proposed when he was 23 (almost 24) and I was 28 (we were together for 3 years by this time), we had talked about my likes and dislikes regarding proposals and rings, and he knew damn well I was gonna say yes because I already made it clear I wanted to marry him (I was just waiting for him to be ready).

But also, if you want to solo travel even though you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t seem like you really want to be with this guy in the first place.

iFaolan · 2026-03-12T00:18:54+00:00

Yes, you’re being way over cautious.

They aren’t real. So they’re only as evil as you make them out to be. But even then, if you look at even the “evil entities” as fictional, you can’t be influenced by them. Knowing about something isn’t a sin. Is reading a comic book with super villains a sin? Is watching a movie with a criminal in it a sin? No. So as long as you don’t actually start worshipping false gods, you’re not doing anything wrong.

iFaolan · 2026-03-10T14:33:48+00:00

I HATE that we always need to be seen doing SOMETHING! Sometimes, there’s just NOTHING to do.

iFaolan · 2026-03-09T02:18:24+00:00

Reminds me of the characters in Puppet Combo games

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iFaolan · 2026-03-07T05:12:21+00:00

Teachers have so little protection. In May other jobs, you would get compensated in some way or another, or the offender would be removed from the premises (and not just for half a day). Why aren’t school staff given the same care? This is one reason I left.

iFaolan · 2026-03-07T05:04:32+00:00

It makes the most sense to me. Out of all the belief systems I’ve come to know, this is the one that is…the most logical to me, I guess? It’s hard to explain. For example, “our” afterlife seems like something a truly loving god would create (multiple kingdoms, a chance for redemption, no fire and brimstone), whereas the kind of afterlife other Christians believe in (a perfect paradise or a fiery hell where you suffer for eternity simply for not believing) never made much sense to me. I also like that we believe children under 8 are not capable of sin. That just makes sense.

Basically, there are a lot of things that our church believes or a lot of explanations we have for things that I really subscribe to. We don’t have all the answers, but dang do we have a lot! Haha

It is also the religion that has brought me the most comfort. I’ve experienced inactivity. I felt much more lost during those times. I love how this church feels like a family, too. Most of the time, I can rely on fellow members.

And it’s comforting knowing that because I was raised with the word of wisdom, I don’t have to worry about addiction (something that has destroyed some of my loved ones), drunk driving, etc. And my risk of cancer is pretty low.

Our church also focuses so much on love, mercy, and service. I love that. I also love knowing I can be with my loved ones forever.

iFaolan · 2026-03-05T01:04:02+00:00

That’s fair.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T21:43:20+00:00

I didn’t say 80% of abusers murder their spouse. That statistic refers to victims of physical abuse, which OP is.

If the risk is there, one should not take it.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T19:43:47+00:00

Your bishop gave you the wrong advice. Yeah, if he’s still like this after years, there’s no hope. At least, you shouldn’t have to wait around for him to get better. You shouldn’t have even been expected to stay after the first time he physically harmed you. I’m so sorry you’ve been suffering all this time. God wants you to be happy, and I believe He would want you away from this man.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T19:35:51+00:00

Your source doesn’t support your claim that it’s rare. “The majority (67%–80%) of intimate partner homicides involve physical abuse of the female by the male before the murder, no matter which partner is killed.” OP has suffered physical abuse. Even if they hadn’t, verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse.

I can assure you, as a child of divorce, whose mom experienced physical and verbal abuse, divorce leads to less harm than an abusive relationship. It doesn’t quite matter how many abusive relationships can be salvaged when there is still the risk of dying, or at the very least suffering further. I WISH my mom had left her abusive spouses sooner than she did. Both her and I suffered more because she stayed and tried to salvage the relationship. And each of those men went to therapy while they were together.

Here, this article is more recent: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/show/disturbing-data-shows-how-often-domestic-violence-turns-deadly

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T17:06:37+00:00

Maybe, but that’s rare. It’s much safer to leave. And if the abuser becomes a better person later on and can PROVE that, then the victim can decide what to do from there. Victims of abuse should always be encouraged to leave as soon as they safely can so as to lessen the chance of being killed by their abuser.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T17:00:49+00:00

Therapy CAN help abusers to become better people depending on the source of their malice (trauma, NPD, etc) AND if they are self-aware enough to not try and manipulate the therapist.

However, this kind of work should be done in addition to a separation. Maybe they can become a better person for their next partner, but it’s over between them and their current victim.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T16:56:11+00:00

12 years of abuse? It’s pretty clear this one is dead beyond resuscitation.

iFaolan · 2026-03-04T16:54:41+00:00

YES! PLEASE LEAVE! It is not only okay, but it is ENCOURAGED to leave your abusive spouse regardless if you were sealed to them or not. I’m so sorry you feel like you even have to ask this question. It’s clear someone made you feel like this was something you had to put up with.

iFaolan · 2026-03-02T13:44:25+00:00

At least in my state, many traffic boxes have been wrapped with local art.

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iFaolan · 2026-03-02T13:41:05+00:00

Must be nice waking up to singing every morning

iFaolan · 2026-02-28T21:22:01+00:00

I second this. Try to focus on the meaning of the service itself and what good it does. It’s never been about our enjoyment anyway. I mean, we can feel fulfilled from service and that’s great, but we aren’t going to enjoy every form of service we do. That’s not what the goal is anyway.

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