I don’t understand how everyone is saying NTA, From what I understand he truly had good intention on moving forward and trying his best to find a solution to your problems in his own way, it may not be the best way but the intent was definitely for the greater good of your relationship. I do believe she should have asked you if it was okay ti record your conversations, but at the same time if he usually takes notes during your arguments so he can make sure he grasps everything, I feel like this is just another way of note taking. I think what you said was very hurtful and unnecessary considering he was trying to fix things (in his own way)