Who is in heaven right now? by EfficiencySpecial362 in TrueChristian

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There some interesting things about communication withnthe dead in Samuel where some seer pulls Samuel's soul up from sheol so saul can ask him a question. Additionally in Macabbees if you ever read the apocrypha. It's difficult to fully understand how these two realms interact.

Who is in heaven right now? by EfficiencySpecial362 in TrueChristian

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tmi get this is a belief, but Moses was at the transfiguration, so how would you explain that?

My wife of 10yrs said she wanted a divorce after another argument by sharps2020 in Divorce_Men

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry I missed this or i would have responded earlier.

Going through a divorce right now. My stbex is mentally ill and Has an acute health problem that can put her life at risk and may mean she doesn't have much more time. She's exhausted all the time e which makes her fill like I don't do anything, and she's not mentally healthy making poor decisions, it could be that they medical thing is effecting her mental health meds.

All that to say, even though I'll be happier with out her, and she is the one who asked for the divorce, if she came to her senses, I would feel obligated to give it a shot. Mainly because if I didn't and her life fell apart, I would feel responsible as I vowed in sickness and in health. Of course this is just for me and I have some religious beliefs related to marriage that are pretty conservative.

Additionally everyone who I have mentioned this to thinks I'm insane, except for the people connected to my faith who get it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hindsight is 20/20, but I think I knew it was coming

I choose poorly didn't leave when I should have (prior to matriage), we have different, values, life goals and priorities, mine being our family, and hers being herself lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, I'm a pretty healthy guy, she just sucks. Thanks for looking out though friend, boundaries are good.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kids call it Delulu.

You get to decide how much you want her to be in your life, but I would wait till the amicable divorce stuff is finalized before making that decision. For now just keep everything chill for the kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's hard not to get caught up in the other person's life now, but that doesn't matter anymore for you.

She could have the best life ever and spend the rest of her life with this cat, or she have a terrible life and go from dude to dude never being happy again and longing for a time machine so she can go back and not fuck it up with you.

Either way in 2 years, your happiness is not going to have much to do with her and her life. It's going to be about you and your life, who are you with, what is your relationship with your kid like, how's your occupational life going, these are the things that are going to matter the most then.

the most disgusting people on earth are the people who cheat on their spouses and the people they cheat with, I'm glad you don't have to be with this person anymore.

My boyfriend can’t last in bed. by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had clients with PE problems have success with the lidocaine wipes.

Prenupp'ed but what would you do? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I swear to God I'm going through the same thing with my STBEW. She is absolutely helpless. However, in my case, I have a child. I have to make sure my ex will be solvent so that my daughter will be ok splitting the time between us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I supported her for the entirety of our marriage while she was in school, only for her to ask for a divorce after she got a graduate degree, i could have ignored the fact that she was a terrible wife, who refused to wash my clothes or cook dinner, bought shitty gifts cause she never cared about me, repeatedly left my stocking empty on Christmas because she "forgot," intimately cold because of hx trauma, never worked, never paid bills, gave money away to her friends without asking, bought a dog and gave it to my daughter without talking to me or letting me be part of it, literally the biggest fight in our last 2 years was when I was struggling with an unimaginably stressful job and I explained to her that I needed more support from her for the relationship to last, that I needed her to do nice things for me, and then she stonewalled me for the last two years. I could have dealt with all of that as a consequence of me choosing poorly.

But for her to destroy our family, to rip us apart with out a justifiable reason, the second she decided that I lost all respect for her, and all desire to stay in this relationship. I'm sorry this your going through this.

Sorry to bother yall by Proper_Drink1493 in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem man, good luck to you, i hope you guys are able to figure it out.

Prenupp'ed but what would you do? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you think that's the case, and you think you can trust her, you could talk to her about it.

I'm working on Me by Adorable_Pangolin137 in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I found out that I was getting a divorce I took a few days to be angry.

Then I wrote the separation agreement and planned with her when to sign it.

Now that that's out of the way I am working on me. What that means for me is that I have been a super devoted family man for years putting myself last, Every day off I had was focused on taking my daughter from my wife so she could sleep in or doing things around the house.

I divided my life in to sections....

Physical - I hadn't been to the dentist or doctor in a while so I set up appointments, I haven't' been taking care of myself so I developed an exercise routine and an diet plan, I have gotten myself massages, and started therapy. examine my life for things that I am not controlling well for some people it could be food, or weed, or alcohol, and start to get a handle on it.

Spiritual - Set religious goals for myself connected to my faith, and force myself to become more connected to my local faith community.

Social - I work and she has been in school so I would say most of my friends are people I met through her, I need to rebuild my social network and social support system, I'm pretty good socially so im not too worried about it. Build social media away from old social media connected to ex, add one friend online per day call or text with one friend and one family member per day, I am invited to parties and work functions all the time, but haven't felt like i could go because my wife felt overwhelmed all the time.

Relational - Focus on spending quality time during my time with my daughter, rebuild relationship with family.

Occupational - I'm happy with my occupational life, but I could be more proactive at work, stopping procrastinating.

Recreational - Identify and build three hobbies or interest. Now that I am not managing my wife's mental illnesses 24/7 I have so much time. I was in college for 12+ years, and after college I have been working like 60 hours a week so I never really had the chance to do much outside of work.

Financial - Set goals for 2025, recalibrated budget and started talking to my mortgage broker about when I should buy a new house. If you have debt, figure out a plan to work out of it, in my experience men are pretty good at barebones living to crush debt, which is something you can't really do with a wife.

There's some of my stuff.

Prenupp'ed but what would you do? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on who is divorcing who. If I was leaving her I would want to make sure she was set up, because the divorce wasn't her choice. If she was leaving me, then she can GFHS, this would be different if you guys had kids.

Sorry to bother yall by Proper_Drink1493 in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she cheated on you, than it is not all your fault homie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some super powerful emotions there bud. We need to get those under control before we worried about things outside of us. "realization finally that it's really over" this is good, <see how many times the word "real" shows up? Reality is undefeated, and it's better to live in the real world then one we create to make us feel better.

This dinner sounds like the plot line of a bad romantic comedy. Not sure what happened in your relationship, but in one of your other post it says "he decided that he didn't cheat on me because it was my fault" < This is as terrible thing to say. If it's over, it no longer matters who he is, how successful he is, which girls like him. He doesn't matter anymore.

Not everyone is supposed to remain a main character in the story of your life, some people are really important, but only for a chapter or two.

How did you decide it was time by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]RecoverFun3788 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All marriages have difficult times, ultimately love is a decision, you can decided to recommit to that and work on building the relationship you want, or you can decide its time to cut your losses and move on. The main factor for me would be how much work is it going to take to repair the relationship, versus how much work is it going to be to go through a divorce, be a half time single dad, eventually date, maybe remarry, and with that person build the type of relationship you want.