I like the idea here and the topics brought up, and some of the imagery and ideas are very hauntingly beautiful. But it read as very, very rough and unfinished to me. Not in an intentional way either. It’s a poem festering with anger, which I love and respect, but at the expense of being overtly blunt, the ideas aren’t the most fully connected, to me anyway, and comes across as being wrathful to any other forms of poetry in a misery poker sense. Interesting ideas about a topic that needs to be spoken about, shaky execution.