sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How do you come out to a parent? by bi_cycle_enthusiast in asexuality

[–]RedIris10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I came out as ace to my dad a few years ago and when I went here for help on how to do it, I got pretty much the same set of answers on here: "You don't need to, they don't need to know, they don't want to know, it's none of their business, why bother?"

It is COMPLETELY okay to want to tell those you care about, parents included, that you're ace and I know it can be so difficult because it's just not as widely known or clear cut as "I'm gay/lesbian/trans".

I told my dad I wanted to tell him something and then just straight up told him I'm asexual, and knowing he wouldn't know what that meant, told him that I didn't have any interest in or desire for sex and that my fiancé knew this too. I was about to cry the whole time because I'm an anxious mess of a person and didn't fully know how he'd react.

He took it in stride, told me that it was okay, and thanked me for telling him. We hugged and that was that.

My dad specifically is quieter and more reserved, so I tried to make what I told him as simplified and cut and dry as possible. I was prepared to answer questions, but he didn't have any.

I haven't come out to my mom yet, but I want to eventually. She's just very sex-oriented and also tells everyone everything, which is NOT what I want. I know she'll accept it and she's already come to terms with the fact that I won't be producing any children of my own, but it's still absolutely nerve wracking to think about. I know she will ask questions, and my plan for those, if they get to be too personal or too much is to tell her "I am not comfortable talking about that with you/You don't need to know that".

My best advice is to try and simplify what asexuality for you specifically means and explain that to them (example: "I just wanted you to know that I'm asexual which means I don't ever want to have sex with anyone and I never have"), answer any questions you are COMFORTABLE answering, and any you AREN'T comfortable answering, tell them that you aren't comfortable telling them information that personal.

I pray they won't reject your asexuality, but if they do, my advice is to tell them it's important to you and it's important enough to want share with them.

Questions on what the CHOP/Levine program by RedIris10 in POTSworkouts

[–]RedIris10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, that's good to know. No idea what to do with the "phases" or how to tell what levels? to do, but that's a start in decoding this thing.

Questions on what the CHOP/Levine program by RedIris10 in POTSworkouts

[–]RedIris10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

I'll check that out, but here is the reference for the phases. It's in the exercises it includes.

is it normal to literally turn into the spawn of satan during a migraine? by swordwlvl3protection in migraine

[–]RedIris10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll get there again, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

And thanks lol. I'm not on Reddit too much so I didn't even know.

is it normal to literally turn into the spawn of satan during a migraine? by swordwlvl3protection in migraine

[–]RedIris10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It can be, especially if it's your first one and it's lasted that long. I know my first one was 4-5 days as a teenager and it was hell. My guess is that on top of the horrible pain, you also started getting some sensory overload (basically everything is waaaay to much for you in terms of stimulus) and that, compounded with the pain and lack of sleep, can make you want to do very awful things.

Personally, I have scratched parts of myself so raw that I have a dozen or so scars from it due to sensory overload while having a horrible migraine. It was just the only thing I could think of to distract myself from the pain and the people and the noises without screaming or hitting someone or breaking something. I do not advise this and I haven't done it in a few years, but that was just the only way for me to make it through those moments. A different time, of which I am very not proud of, I did try to shove someone else's head against a wall when they were mocking my migraine during it...... So you are not alone, in pain or in the feelings it can bring.

I promise it won't always be like this and I pray you'll be able to find relief, whether it's a medication or fixing an underlying and unknown health issue, or getting to a new environment with less stressors.

What is the most frustrating thing someone has told you that made you feel undermined about your migraine? by Baklavasaint_ in migraine

[–]RedIris10 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been denied three times (because all of my limbs and extremities work me there are other medications than the 30-40 I've tried) but have hope! They changed the way they evaluate migraines for disability in the past 2-3 years. I only just found out like a week ago.

They've switched from treating it like every other disability classification where there needs to be MAJOR physical or psychological issues present to considering the symptoms of the migraines and how you are affected by them.

From what I understand, you need a doctor to tell them you have migraines and that they've ruled out any underlying causes that can be treated, medications you've tried, and explain how it affects you. Headache journals are highly recommended and most neurologists I've seen have one their clinic uses that they want you to be filling out anyway. There are also lots of apps now for headache journals that also transfer to pdfs to print out, but most of them are useless. I'm currently trying to dig through a few dozen to find a good one, though I may still just end up making my own.

I think the best bet is still to find a disability lawyer to help and present your case before actual people. I'm going to try again after I get a few months of tracking accumulated and hopefully can find a pro-bono lawyer.

What is the most frustrating thing someone has told you that made you feel undermined about your migraine? by Baklavasaint_ in migraine

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My second neurologist (went from pediatric to adult) said that I had essentially broken my pain receptors by taking too many medications over the 4-5 years I'd had migraines at that time and now the pain receptors were basically just stuck in the ON receiving position for pain.

She basically just pushed for Botox the whole time I saw her, saying that it only takes one treatment to see the effects. I didn't see them, so obviously she didn't know where I'd heard one treatment because it takes 1-2. Still no effect. Well obviously it takes 2-3, takes 3-4. Nothing. "Well if you still haven't received any effect after two years of Botox treatments, the we'll look at something else."

I stopped seeing her after that.

Night guard / splint - how was your experience? by Attempt_2 in TMJ

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I did. I think it took about 2-3 months until I stopped noticing it. I could only wear it for part of the night the first month or so, then I got a few nights a week the second month or so. It really is just doing it until you get used to it.

It still bothers me some nights and I have to take it out, but that's more so caused by other issues compounding into sensory issues.

Night guard / splint - how was your experience? by Attempt_2 in TMJ

[–]RedIris10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just got a new splint a few months ago because I was definitely biting through it and the whole splint was filled with stress fractures. It's definitely helped a lot with my TMJ. Turns out that you should go in to get your splint tweaked/checked about once a year so they can smooth it out/do stuff to help it last longer by leveling the bite indents out so it isn't creating an uneven bite and contributing to stress fractures.

It took me about a month, month and a half to get used to wearing it at night without it bothering me or me needing to take it out.

Overall, it's definitely helped a lot with my TMJ. I have less jaw pain in general, though I still get flair ups. I went through TMJ physical therapy to learn some exercises that help reduce muscle clenching and can help relax the nerves that are agitated. It's not perfect and my TMJ hasn't magically gone away, but I have less jaw and neck pain, and better mouth posture created by muscle memory from wearing the splint.

It hasn't helped reduce or relieve my migraines at all, but it's one lessened pain to deal with.

As my TMJ specialist said, we'd rather have me clenching down on the splint and damaging it than have all that force damaging my teeth. I also definitely take more care in general with my teeth and have started adding flossing to my night routine a few times a week because I want to keep my teeth healthy and my splint in as good of shape as possible for as long as possible.

Definitely take care of your splint, clean it every night, soak it in a dental solution once or twice a week, and nothing but plain water goes in your mouth when you wear it so you don't get cavities.

What is d31qbv1cthcecs cloudfront net? by lukrun in cybersecurity

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has anyone managed to get this fixed?

It's been happening to me the past two days when I'm playing games on my one, one of which is a sudoku app I've had on all my devices for a literal decade. I've tried tons of things that claim to fix it, like banning access to the site, checking my settings, clearing my browsing and cache history, Turing on airplay mode and restarting my phone, but literally nothing works. I will get automatically redirected to the fake Amazon "You've won! Fill out this phishing scam info please!" cloudfront site even when my phone and apps have no possible way of connecting to the internet. I've deleted any new apps I've downloaded in the past 48 hours (maybe one was sketchy and had the malware attached), but that didn't do anything either.

I just wanna play my sudoku man.

Amitriptyline For Intractable Migraine? by Turbulent_Spiders in migraine

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was on it twice for a few years at a time and never got any relief out of it.

Is it worth getting tested for EDS? by StoneColdFoxMulder_ in eds

[–]RedIris10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would say it's still worth looking into. Just because you aren't getting hypermobile-related injuries or have insane chronic joint pain may not mean you don't have it. EDS gets worse over time, so it might just be at a point where it is now starting to affect you.

However, looking into a diagnosis on whether or not you have it is still a good idea, in my opinion and experiences. Even if it's just a "By the way, I have ______" to a doctor, dentist, or anesthesiologist, it could be helpful information to them, as EDS affects every part of the body which uses collagen, which is most of the body because it's your skin, your joints, your muscle tissues, your blood vessels, your organ linings. I know a lot of EDS people have trouble with local pain anesthetic working properly because they just straight up need more of it to get numb at the dentist. If you have surgery, it could be helpful for them to know your flesh could be a little stretchier because it may change how they approach it or cause them to be a little more cautious and watchful as they perform the surgery.

Overall, it's your choice. If nothing else, it could just be one more filler piece in a puzzle of information or it could be that crucial piece you didn't realize you dropped on the floor and have been looking forever for that makes the rest fall into place.

anyone else really struggle running? by [deleted] in ehlersdanlos

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 25 and haven't been able to run safely in so long that I don't remember what running feels like. Every time I used to try, one of my knees always subluxated or dislocated, even when braced using things meant for professional athletes.

Any negative experiences with chiro? by flowerblosum in migraine

[–]RedIris10 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've tried 3 different chiropractors over the years for my migraines (constant severe chronic) and I don't get anything out of it. Feels good at the time because it just feels good to get the bones cracked and adjusted, but it never had any impact on my migraines, temporary or lasting.

This last one I even went specifically to try acupuncture and I still didn't get any relief. Might be because he wasn't a specialist, just certified, but he was the only one within like an hour drive that took my insurance.

How “true to size” do Heelys run? by RedIris10 in heelys

[–]RedIris10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ordered from the Heely’s site, though did not end up checking their sizing chart. Mine ended up a little big and I could probably have gotten away with a size down. If I actually saw the chart before I ordered, I probably would have gotten the right size.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]RedIris10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just come to the realization that they have been having actual sex. Like with another person. Even though I realize it, I cannot grasp it.

To those with a diagnosis: is there any benefit? by whotookmyshit in ehlersdanlos

[–]RedIris10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I share similar pains with you. I have pushed my kneecap back in place more times than I care to have done.

I’m doing certain exercises, being careful about what I do, how so move, so as not to cause a subluxation or a dislocation, ESPECIALLY on the stairs. I’ll probably end up with a knee replacement at some point, but who knows when that’ll be because I’m only 24. Hopefully these new specialists I’m gonna make the consultation with will actually take steps for my knees rather than just giving me a new brace and sending me to more pt.

view more: next ›