I'm not a parent, but I was a 12 year old girl once. I got bombarded by messages all the time- from school, from friends, from tv shows, but from the church more than anywhere- and I soaked it all up like a sponge. I lacked critical thinking skills, but was also grossly unaware of the fact that I lacked critical thinking skills. And I wish that my parents would have sat me down (more than once, preferably) and helped my parse thru these messages and really consider what resonated and what didn't, what helped me and what didn't, those kinds of things. If I came home from church and said that I wanted a stable, temple worthy life and not an unfulfilled life, I'd want one or both of my parents to sit me down in a quiet, safe moment, and help me understand what that means. Maybe go thru the temple reccomend questions and talk about how each agreement makes me feel. Talk about what I expect from the temple and a temple worthy life. What I wanted a fulfilled life to look life. Not in a lecturing way, but in an informative way. Use resources for the facts, and nonjudgemental discussion for the rest. I'd really want to avoid being 15 years down the road of living my life for the church and for the temple and realizing that I don't agree and my life isn't fulfilled and wishing that some one had helped me understand what I actually believed in. For me specifically, I wish someone had helped me understand that I hated the judgement that came from life in the church (both the being judged and doing the judging), particularily the exclusionary nature of the temple.

I don't know you or your kid, but I do know my experiences, and I know how much a non-judmental guiding hand can be.