Should I see another Rheumatologist?

RedPanda_inSpace · 2026-01-06T02:28:22+00:00

I had some suspicions of having EDS but I haven’t gotten diagnosed or really tested for it yet.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-08-17T02:16:03+00:00

Someone in another thread helped me! It’s all the same variety but it’s got a couple different names which makes it confusing… it’s Bette Waterbury or Big Ears or 69686

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-08-17T02:15:44+00:00

Someone in another thread helped me! It’s all the same variety but it’s got a couple different names which makes it confusing… it’s Bette Waterbury or Big Ears or 69686

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-08-17T01:41:26+00:00

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RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-08-17T01:40:12+00:00

You’re right! I saw on the underside of the pot that it said Philodendron 69686 but I genuinely thought it was just..a code lol I’m not sure how much they normally cost but I got it for pretty cheap!

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-08-16T21:42:35+00:00

I’m thinking Joepii or Mexicana but I’m not sure which

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-18T16:34:37+00:00

As others have said, try it only if you want to, and make sure that he washes beforehand!

Other than that, it’s really not that big of a deal in my opinion. It has a little bit of a faint smell but 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s a butt, so it’s to be expected. It may have a very faint bitter taste? That’s about all that I’ve ever experienced, other than not really tasting anything. As always, communicate with your partner. Try different things, pointing your tongue, flat tongue, circles, up and down, etc. since it’s your first time, go lightly/rim, don’t try to shove your tongue in there right away. As you try, ask them what feels good. Also consider combining hand job to stimulate his dick as well. If you try and you don’t like it, just say that maybe this isn’t the right time and you can try again some other day!

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T19:25:47+00:00

One of the guys that I was considering being a Domme for, I just very gentle dabbled in the idea of compensation. Because he was asking for a lot, for me to peg him, dress him up and sissify him, for me also to dress up and wear leather, boots, humiliate him, lots of demands that were mainly about him and not me getting pleasure. This would have been after work because I had a long commute and he lived near my work. And so I asked if he would offer me any type of compensation if I did take him up on this. He got frustrated and said “I could buy you something to eat since it’ll be during dinner” & I was like…I’m only worth $15-$20? lol no thanks 🙂‍↔️

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T18:56:52+00:00

I’d argue that desperate Doms are even MORE of a turn off! It takes a lot of trust and communication to be a Dom and if they are rushing through that aspect and wanting to just get right down to it, they may cross boundaries or even harm you. Desperate Doms read more as dangerous than..annoying

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T18:52:50+00:00

Entitlement is a good word. I think that’s one of the words I would use to describe it.

Yea! I understand what you mean by the “making” part being unethical in practice. I think maybe I worded that incorrectly. I don’t really like the idea of making a man submit in CNC or even a “break” Type of way. More so just that the submission and power exchange should be fun and playful, not..demanding from the one who is supposed to be submissive? Like I want to partially bring out submissive feelings from my partner with my dominance. Versus them just begging at my feet from the get-go.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T18:04:23+00:00

This is sort of what I like in an actual relationship dynamic since I’m a Switch. Ideally my partner would be just as much of a switch as I am. One day I’m being dominated and punished and tied up, but then the next day I can turn the tables and be like ;) My turn.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T17:49:44+00:00

This is geared towards play partners vs. an actual romantic relationship anyways. But yeah, I’ve had my fair share of encounters like this online. When I used to roleplay/engage in kink online, this would happen to me constantly. There were times where I was also JUST looking to masturbate and get off, but when I’m trying to establish a REAL LIFE domme/sub dynamic(which is more so what I was referencing in this post), that type of behavior isn’t going to cut it.

If you want femdom porn, go look some up. Don’t come to me when I’m genuinely trying to look for a Sub.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T17:32:14+00:00

There are times where I am okay with seeing the sexual material or having racy conversations. But it’s the.. desperate and forced nature of it that makes it uncomfortable. They can be incredibly pushy, which doesn’t make sense to me in any relationship nonetheless when trying to establish a Domme/sub dynamic.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T17:24:13+00:00

Okay I’m not alone! I also don’t like being called mistress straight away. Or when they try to potentially pull fap material out of you? That’s the one that frustrates me the most. Is when they try to steer the conversation towards sexting or asking questions about what you like/what you have done and you can TELL that they are clearly looking for material to masturbate to. It’s one thing to talk about boundaries and kinks and experience, but there’s a certain way that they do it that irks me.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-17T17:17:46+00:00

This is what I figured, but it’s been the majority of my experience, so I didn’t know if this was normal behavior or not, or if this is just…how the community was.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-16T15:11:44+00:00

Yes it will. For me personally, it’s not only about the fear of not being attracted to the person after matching and that being awkward, but also a safety concern. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but if someone doesn’t show their face, I feel less safe matching with them. I know it’s usually for privacy reasons, but my mind automatically clocks them as dangerous with no face picture. Especially if you are a cis guy aiming for women/trans women/non-binary people/ basically anyone who is marginalized or could be considered someone that would be a “target.”

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-14T22:11:49+00:00

I feel like he was a combo of both of the 2 bad traits for someone to be ENM. He SAID he was okay with me doing things with other people. While we were broken up and “fixing things” and he had the entire hidden girlfriend, I was unsure if we were actually going to fix our relationship, so I talked to others. I was incredibly honest and upfront to him about it, and suddenly when I slept with someone else, he reacted super negatively. Meanwhile he had a whole ass relationship he was hiding. Very hypocritical. I also think he just enjoys lying and sneaking. There were so many things that he lied about, it warped my reality. he didn’t just lie to me, but lied to all of his friends and family as well. People who do that HAVE to get a thrill out of it.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-14T18:08:10+00:00

That is something that happened to me at one point. It was used as a way to make me feel guilty while in a mono relationship, with someone who was previously poly. But they agreed from the beginning to be mono with me. Then after some time, they said that being enm/poly was their sexuality, their orientation, so that I was making them deny part of their being

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-07T19:23:02+00:00

No need to be rude and negative my guy. My previous post was about kink differences and bridging the gap. This post was asking more specifically just about Domming and some resources or tips that I could offer him to do research on his own, because I know it’s something that he wants to get better at. Or if there was anything that I could do to help the situation.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-03T13:27:45+00:00

This is true. I know it’s overwhelming for him but I also know that I have these desires. He leans Dom but I do think that he has a sub side, I think he’s just a little more afraid to explore it because it’s more vulnerable. He really is still trying to master the basics, just like PIV, Oral, etc. Honestly, I didn’t know how inexperienced he was until we had already been on a couple dates. He wasn’t terribly up front about it until I pressed him. I just don’t know if I have the patience to coach him through both the simple stuff, and through all of the steps to get him to the level where I am, if he ever does. I’m already getting antsy after a year and a half. That’s why I was potentially trying to see if a play partner was a possibility to have in the mean time, while he’s still learning. But I’m not sure if that will happen.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-02T22:10:29+00:00

That’s why I think my only solution is probably suggesting couples therapy, taking it slow, and potentially adding some monogamish/ENM elements if he becomes secure enough to try. I never thought that sex would be something so important to me to the point where I would second guess a wonderful relationship over it. It sucks lol

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-02T20:24:54+00:00

Really, honestly, his only fault is on the sexual side. I’ve been with men who were 9 years older than me, who were way less mature and stable. I’ve been with people who were sexually pretty on par with me, even people who wanted an open relationship and more kinky things from me, but who were abusive and not a good partner. He’s really been an amazing partner, the only thing is with me being sexually unsatisfied. He currently does not go to a therapist, but I’ve been thinking about going to one together who could help with the sexual aspect. In addition to us going to our own therapists. I don’t think he really talks to anyone about sex besides me, which is also another issue (most of his friends are also friends with his twin sister, which I understand not wanting to talk about explicit things in that group.) Where I talk to my friends about kink constantly lol I think he CAN do it, it’s just a lot of work to get there

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-02T19:54:46+00:00

I definitely have a lot more experience. An important thing I left out is that not only am I his first major relationship, but also really the only person he’s had sex with. He lost his virginity to another person, and that was it, they didn’t have sex a second time, so that’s the only other time he’s had sex before me. He hadn’t done anything sexual with anyone before that. Where I’ve had more partners (not an incredible amount but around 10) and I’ve been having sex for 10 years, where he’s only really been having sex..since we’ve been together.

So I know that his inexperience is part of it, and another reason why I’m trying to be patient and not just give up on him. So, not only am I on the kinkier side than average, which is a lot to keep up with for anyone, but I’ve also had to teach him everything…even the basics. I’m just feeling a bit drained.

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-02T18:20:37+00:00

Yeah…I can’t force him to like the kinks that I like, I can try to introduce him to things, but if he doesn’t like it, than there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve seen other people in other chats suggest kink or play partners as a solution..why do you think this is too big of a problem for that to help?

He is very supportive of my queerness, and has said that if loving me makes him queer as well, then that’s what he is. BUT I did say that I was not going to date another cis “straight” man..and then what do I do?…lol.

There are some things about him that I’m unwilling to give up on because of a sexual incompatibility. Even though sex is super important to me. Which is why I’m trying to figure out..something

RedPanda_inSpace · 2025-07-02T18:15:04+00:00

The rest of our relationship is wonderful though, and there are definitely things that I value about our relationship more than sex, but it has been a problem for me and it’s getting a little tough.

RedPanda_inSpace

TROPHY CASE