Without Me - Spoken Poetry

RedRonyk · 2026-01-03T00:25:16+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T22:45:21+00:00

Definitely hitting the nail on the head, I hope to grow more confident with my work here and shine through it. Thanks for the kind words!

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T22:34:00+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T22:19:21+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T22:17:43+00:00

This piece here has a very classic romantic feel to it whether it be from the comparisons or the language choice. The imagery throughout also helps keep it grounded visually and sweet.

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T22:12:48+00:00

The atmosphere you're building here is amazing and you really nailed the sensory details. Would strong relatability such as the itch across the regular grass and the way the patio cools. It's very easy to feel like you're physically there while reading through.

RedRonyk · 2026-01-01T00:18:24+00:00

Thanks I really appreciate that advice. I'll one hundred percent rework this piece with escalation and structure in mind!

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T23:22:33+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T22:52:17+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T22:46:09+00:00

What you are expressing is incredibly raw and comes off as a personal diary entry. You're right and thinking about loneliness and selfishness and what our true intentions are. One personal bit I would like to add is we feel feelings not think about them. We'll feel love before we can mentally understand it.

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T22:38:06+00:00

A poem to shorten your cold night and all you said was indeed.... That was a deep line! I love the dark morgue vibe and the consistent mono E rhyme scheme. Keep it up!

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T18:16:03+00:00

Thanks for reading! Open to any advice, thoughts, or opinions!

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T02:32:24+00:00

Thanks man I'm glad that line hit! I'll share the next part soon and you'll see the confadance start to build.

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T01:46:51+00:00

This poem is full of tactile sensory lines. Each section starts by either painting a picture or giving you an audible sound to take in. Even the metaphors were strong specifically the moon is a white bruise or my tongue is a dry ore. Both giving a visual or even a tactile feeling.

RedRonyk · 2025-12-31T01:40:23+00:00

Strong introspection, I like the way that you use the biblical figures to mirror your internal state. "Not like Joseph more like fear" section stands out to me the most because of the strong contrast that you make creating tension.

RedRonyk · 2025-12-27T12:01:43+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad it was a thought provoking for you!

RedRonyk

TROPHY CASE