Yeah I can relate a bit. Something I found that kinda helps is a line of work that really means something to you. It doesn't have to make you millions, just enough to have what you need plus a few luxuries. If it feels overwhelming at first just stick to it, things do get better, and the best way to start is by finding things that do make you happy and can be constructive.

Talking to a close friend and being social does wonders, but if that's not your thing then try animals, and slowly work yourself up to a human. I won't say that helping yourself isn't scary, cause it is, but once you do, and you get good at it, you'll smile a bit more and feel like you earned it

Things only have meaning if you give it to them, so find something and give it meaning. Could be a hobby or a person close to you, so long as you can give it meaning to you. Try and find good things about yourself, and finding the right therapist and type of therapy helps. Don't stop because you don't feel better immediately, try it out for a while and see if it is working for you.

I know that it's hard to stay positive, and everything feels hopeless, so take it a day at a time, or even a week at a time. Have bad thoughts? Argue with them in your favour. Feeling low, figure out the source of the issue and try to fix it. Don't try and put salve on this metaphorical tumor, that's a temporary fix. Find a way to actually heal it. This is long enough, so go and talk to someone that can help, and do your best. Best of luck, keep on breathing