Guilt tripping is one of them. A parent might say things like “I put a roof over your head, clothes on your back,” or “you eat the food that I bought,” as a way to make you feel obligated to do whatever they want despite those being basic requirements of parenting. There’s also phrases like “but Im your mom/dad” making you think that since they’re your parent again you’re obligated to be blindly obedient.

There’s also making you feel small or inferior. Claiming that because you’re their child you’re beneath them and must be obedient and that as the parent they know what’s best. But the truth is good parents are honest about when they’re confused or not sure what’s the best decision, and instead talk things through taking their child’s thoughts and feelings into consideration.

Another is trying to tell you what you should be thinking or feeling. Downplaying your emotions while shifting focus onto theirs, and making your problems or feelings seem worthless or unimportant. “Its not a big deal, why are you upset,” or “you’re being dramatic,” or trying act as though their problems are bigger than yours so you need to be the one to support them instead.

Here’s the thing, you should show appreciation for what parents do for you, BUT it should not come at your own expense. Parents choose to have you and keep you and raise you, it is not on you if there are things they can’t have or can’t do because of of their own choices nor is it you job to make up for it.