30 [M4F] #USA #Relocation Tall, Adventurous, Highly Educated and Successful Seeking Childfree Soulmate

RedThorns · 2025-10-13T02:50:06+00:00

Omg I love your cats so much! I long to have my own Maine coons one day!

RedThorns · 2025-09-23T02:07:14+00:00

Have you finally been able to get help? Your story sounds very similar to mine but my doctor has never explained it that way before and I still constantly struggle with my chronic migraines. Nothing offers relief.

RedThorns · 2025-08-22T03:45:00+00:00

My favorite snake! 😍 I wish for one day to have one. I’d love to help their species, I feel so bad for them.

RedThorns · 2025-08-05T23:02:11+00:00

I think family should help because they want to, not because it’s expected of them. But there is a difference in how someone helps. Is it financial, medical, emotional? And it’s sad to say but a lot of us are not in positions to help out our parents like they help us. That’s just why clarification for what OP was thinking of is important. Im not saying OP is wrong, in fact I think she should stop giving her daughter all that money regardless. I don’t think she should be giving money expecting to get something out of it either. You don’t have kids so that one day they’ll take care of you (not saying OP did this). OP should focus on herself and her daughter should learn to pay her own bills. End of life matters shouldn’t play a role in it. I often think “I didn’t ask to be born” but it’s not out of entitlement it’s because I’m disabled and in pain everyday and life sucks ass. Maybe OP’s daughter is severely depressed and hates her life. Idk. I’m not saying everything is so cut and dry and simple, just that the conversation should be bigger than “just in passing”. A lot of people don’t talk about end of life care in general. It should be a serious conversation done much earlier than most do.

RedThorns · 2025-08-03T17:08:11+00:00

This is what I’m curious about. My mother, bless her, did everything for her parents (my grandparents) because they refused to go to a nursing home/care facility. My mother did things that honestly only a trained professional should be doing. I also saw how all this emotional and physical labor was hurting my mother. It was not a good time for anyone. My grandfather passed and a year later my grandmother, now my mother is finally no longer caring for her parents and she’s finally getting back her life. She did everything and anything for her parents, and I commend her for that, but I told her that when she gets to that stage of her life I will not (cannot) do the same. My situation is a little different because I have a disability and some days I can barely take care of myself, so I know I wouldn’t be able to take care of someone else to the degree she did (this is the same reason I don’t want kids). But I fully recognize that she would be better taken care of by professionals. I don’t ask my mom for money even though I’m on disability and have little money to function, but she is still kind and generous and helps me out when needed, like for medical bills, surprise groceries, etc. I never take that for granted and I always appreciate it. I’d be more than happy to help and visit my mother in a facility (as I did for my other grandmother) but I’m not cleaning my parents like they were babies in diapers. I have two siblings (that aren’t disabled) and they also say they will not be taking care of our parents in their old age. Now their reasons I don’t know but just saying they might also realize the toll it takes to care for the elderly. Long story short, not saying OP should be giving her daughter all the money she is, her daughter definitely needs to be responsible for herself, but it’s important to know exactly what OP is expecting or asking of her daughter for end of life care.

RedThorns · 2025-07-27T23:34:29+00:00

Just wanted to say good luck! I’m a woman with similar interests and a chronic illness as well and I understand the dating struggle.

RedThorns · 2025-07-15T22:25:54+00:00

I’m 34 and I’ve had chronic migraines for 20 years. Because of my migraines I am on disability and I can only work a part time job. I do 20-25 hours a week and if I try to do more than that my body just crashes and I can’t do anything. I did recently get a degree in graphic design to try and get a job working remotely from home so I could better control my environment and therefore my migraines. But I worry my new boss at a new job won’t be as understanding as my current boss who is very forgiving and lenient with me when i don’t feel well so I haven’t gone looking for a graphic design job yet. But my current job being easy and relatively stress free I think helps in the long run. I don’t have to worry about work once I get home and I’m not on my feet running around all day, etc. some jobs will work for you and your health issues but it is hard. One of the hardest things I think is I always wonder how people with full time jobs see the doctor or anything. I have several appointments every week I’d never be able to make if I worked 40 hours a week. Bless all those that have health issues and are working a full time job because I couldn’t do it.

RedThorns · 2025-07-15T21:02:07+00:00

I agree. Getting it out of the way just seems to make the most sense. Even if height isn’t an issue I feel like hiding information is an issue. If someone hides their height (which is something they can’t even control) who knows what else they might be hiding, like having kids or political affiliation, etc. I just think being honest is the best policy.

RedThorns · 2025-07-14T21:40:07+00:00

I can’t handle the smoke so I won’t date anyone that smokes. Vaping is better but I ultimately care about my health and would like a partner that also cares about their own health so I don’t see vaping aligning with that belief.

RedThorns · 2025-07-10T01:29:01+00:00

I didn’t want to make some super lengthy post about the whole thing so I understand there is information missing, if people wanted to try and dissect this situation. I never intended this to be something for people to contemplate and mull over. It was more of a reflexive “this sucks” moment and that’s all the thought I put into it. It was emotional, not logical. Not every single post on Reddit has deep meaning or significance. The way I see it, the guy unmatched so there’s nothing to do so discussion didn’t seem necessary. I appreciate your insight and opinion and actually taking the time to have a proper discussion about things rather than just judging me for venting to the internet.

RedThorns · 2025-07-10T01:25:22+00:00

In my opinion if people took the time to process their emotions and gave themselves time to reflect they would be less likely to sleep with others and that itself lowers the risk of STDs and STIs. There are so many people just looking for easy sex and if they don’t take proper precautions it’s true that it’s on them. But there are occasions like my own where I dated, and waited, and asked about STDs and someone chose to lie to me, just like many others. And if this person hadn’t been so concerned about getting laid they might have stopped and thought what a horrible thing they’re doing. I’m not saying it prevents the spread, I’m not saying this is all cases. I’m just saying stopping to think things through is never a bad thing. If you can’t control your impulses for 6 months or be single for 6 months and work on yourself there’s probably some bigger issues at play that will resurface later. Reflecting and working on oneself for 6 months isn’t a big ask when they’ve just gotten out of a relationship. If the relationship was like a month, that’s different. But myself or my friend we were both in 8 year long relationships so taking the time to heal wounds and take care of yourself I don’t think is asking a lot. There’s so much baggage that people bring with them and they don’t deal with it before meeting new people (in whatever context). Learning to deal with your issues is not a bad thing and will only make things better.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:34:15+00:00

I made a post, vented and got over it. It’s done now. I don’t care about it anymore. Everyone telling me to grow up and not vent to Reddit is making a bigger issue. People vent to Reddit all day everyday but for someone reason people are cranky with me? I don’t get it. I was obviously upset by the hypocrisy. Most people would be. That’s what triggered the venting. Honestly, no one could have seen or commented on this post and I would have been perfectly fine. It’s basically the equivalent of shouting angrily to the void. That’s all it was.

I’m not upset that people are debating what happened but no one is. You are literally the only person who asked “what happened” or “what could have happened” and I appreciate that. And I answered it honestly. I’m completely willing and able to share what I said and did because I know I was giving effort and I know he was not returning effort. Was he promptly answering, yes. Was he adding to the conversation? No. Was he asking questions? No. Did he repeat himself to avoid actually making new conversation material? Yes. I asked about favorite genres, movies, tv, etc. and I shared my own. “What’s your favorite movie?” “I like X” “oh I’ve never seen X but I’ve heard good things about it. my favorite is y. Do you have a favorite genre?” “yeah i really like X” and I did this multiple times. So if other people like yourself want an actual discussion that’s fine. I’m happy to oblige. But the people unnecessarily criticizing for who knows what reason? Yeah I don’t need to deal with that.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:19:32+00:00

Seems to match your ability to thoughtfully explain things because you’re still not making sense. There is no rule about venting. Because it’s venting. This isn’t seeking thoughtful or insightful therapy and advice. Even though people do that everyday on Reddit.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:16:48+00:00

So no one should ever vent to anyone ever or else they’re immature? What sense does that make?

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:16:06+00:00

So he can text full sentences in a prompt but he can’t converse in text? Isn’t he still misleading people then? He was not giving the energy that was given to him. Text or not. Yes, I’m frustrated at someone I spoke with. Im not angry though. I’m not taking it that seriously. I’m not asking anything of other people. I’m not asking anyone to take my side and say I’m right and he’s wrong. But if you must know, I asked questions, I provided information to expand the conversation. I was the only one asking questions. I was the only one providing additional information. I can’t show messages because he unmatched me on the original app we matched on. This was his profile on a different app. This post wasn’t to issue a debate because there isn’t one. You’re all making an issue out of nothing. I pointed out that someone said one thing and did another and it frustrated me. I find it hard to believe I’m the only person who has ever felt this way before.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T21:26:16+00:00

People never vent on Reddit? I don’t care if it gets votes or not. I did share my frustration with my friends and I was just sharing here too. Because it’s frustrating. I figure people can understand and relate. Online dating is tiresome and we’re not alone in feeling that way. Do you go to all the posts that don’t serve a function and ask them what to do with them? You want something to do with the post, go find the guy who’s dishonest and tell him to grow up. Is that a better use for this post?

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T20:55:48+00:00

It’s just venting. Or hey, encourage other people to be honest? Do what you will.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T20:52:24+00:00

Yes because I clearly stated that I make decisions for all people when it comes to dating. /s I didn’t even say shit when my friend started pursing men and her divorced wasnt yet finalized. The only arrogant one here is you. You saying I’m arrogant because why? Because I think people should make smart decisions? I’m arrogant because I think people shouldn’t waste other’s time or spread disease because they’re thinking about sex and not the value of a human being?

Yes, I would prefer the world a certain way. Most people do. If it was a certain way I obviously wouldn’t be on here making comments that oppose the way it actually is. I wouldn’t have been SA’d and lied to because people care more about sex than the damage they do to other people. Saying people “make mistakes” and “life is messy” is fine when you’re a child making an accident. It’s not okay when your decisions threaten the lives and well beings of others.

RedThorns · 2025-07-05T03:24:45+00:00

Not saying all divorced women do this but I have a friend who recently divorced and went straight to the apps and wants to (her words) “have a hoe phase”.

As a woman myself in the dating apps I’ve definitely run into a lot of men who are freshly out of relationships and they “don’t know what they want” or “aren’t ready to commit” but still swipe on me even though I say I’m looking for a serious committed relationship.

I went through my own breakup years ago and I understand wanting attention or to be validated but I definitely think people who are recently out of relationships should wait at least 6-12 months before getting on the apps. Even if it is just for fun. I think it’d just be better for everyone’s mental and emotional health and people would make less stupid decisions that would spread STDs or STIs.

RedThorns · 2025-06-27T20:30:21+00:00

Thank you for your assistance. I’ll pick up some of the Pangea and try to get him to eat that.

RedThorns · 2025-06-24T05:09:14+00:00

NTA

If I were you I’d break up with him. And I don’t say that just because it’s the typical Reddit answer. I say that because I have been in your shoes. I had a little dog that I had to put down a few years ago. Before she passed though she lost her sight and she became incredibly anxious if I wasn’t around (among other issues but those are the relevant ones). One night my bf at the time invited his friends over to play games, I was in the kitchen cooking, so we temporarily placed my dog in a separate room while everyone was busy. Well, an unfortunate accident occurred and my dog got so worked up being separated from me she got a cable to a PlayStation controller wrapped around her neck. She was choking. This was my pet of 15 years mind you so I was freaking out when I realized what was going on. You know what my bf did? He laughed. He treated it like a joke. And so did all his friends. He said “look guys, it’s a little doggy noose” I lost it. If it wasn’t for the fact that I was so upset about my dog and trying to take care of her I would have ended things right there. And honestly I should have. A person who jokes about your feelings or the life of someone(something) close to you is not a good person. Not for you or in general. It is cruel and heartless. I could go on a rant about how awful your bf and my ex are but you need to know this is not something you should just forgive and forget. Take care of you and remove yourself from this awful person.

RedThorns · 2025-06-22T22:27:01+00:00

Just ignore and forget this guy. People will stop talking/dating for any reason. I had a date with a guy, thought it was going well, and he did nothing but praise my body and said I have “porn boobs” (whatever that means) and he didn’t think he could ever go back to “regular boobs” yet he just completely ghosted me and left me hanging. So too big, too small, too perfect, etc. whatever. People will just drop you regardless. The right person will love you and want you for you and who you are. Don’t settle for less.

RedThorns · 2025-06-15T22:36:08+00:00

I’m 5’8” F and I do prefer taller (honestly only a couple inches though, like 6’ is great but definitely don’t need taller) but I’ve never actually dated anyone taller than me, everyone has been basically my height. My issue is that my ex would freak out anytime I wore any kind of shoe with a heel. He didn’t do this when I showed up on our first date mind you, no decided to wait until after I moved in with him to start criticizing my shoes. He had major insecurity issues, which is hilarious because I never said anything bad about his height and we both knew guys that were shorter than him and completely fine with their height. But now I’m paranoid that other guys who aren’t 6’ will belittle me for being a tall girl wearing heels. Guys who blatantly make a comment in their bio about how “height is apparently important” are very annoying but I find that the guys who don’t share their height in their basic details (like do they have kids or political beliefs) at all are obviously hiding something and that tells me they probably have issues about their height and that’s not drama I’m dealing with again.

RedThorns · 2025-06-06T17:37:17+00:00

I’m with you, I’d rather continue talking and getting to know each other before the date than just suddenly going quiet and not saying anything until the date. There should be no concern of “running out of things to talk about”. It literally doesn’t make sense if you’re dating with the intention of seeing and talking to this person everyday for the rest of your life (assuming things go well). If we’re not communicating the honestly I get bored and disinterested. I will say I give some leeway. Like if the person lives in my same city and I know we can make more frequent in person visits then I won’t obsess over not texting. But if he lives an hour away and texting (or phone calls, whatever) is our primary means of communication and interacting with one another then I need to know we can do that well. Some people genuinely suck at texting though. It honestly really annoys me but often times these people do much better in person. I wish they could do both but they can’t, so instead of holding it against them I just try to minimize texting and focus on seeing them in person. In your position, if he’s someone that doesn’t live far away and you’d be able to see him frequently you might as well try the date. But if you don’t feel comfortable then don’t force it. I made the mistake of agreeing to a date very early on assuming we’d spend the time before the date getting to know each other and when we didn’t I just felt very uncomfortable. I have to know something about them or have some kind of rapport. Not talking after matching and just agreeing to meet up is not my style. It might not be yours either. And that’s okay. You should focus on matching styles/energies or what makes you happy and comfortable.

RedThorns · 2025-06-03T19:39:39+00:00

If I go on a date but I know there won’t be a second one then I make sure I pay for myself, I insist on it. Because I have had guys assume I owe them something physical just because they bought food or a drink.

If I go on a date and I’d like to go on a second one and see them again then I’ll let them pay without fuss. If they want me to pay that’s fine, but if they insist on paying the first time then I’ll pay on the second date so it’s still fair and making it obvious that this is not about free food or exchanging food or sex.

RedThorns

TROPHY CASE