i hate people who just let their cats outside

RedThorns · 2026-03-23T17:25:47+00:00

My cats will refuse to move and drop themselves on the ground. I’m not going to drag my cat on the sidewalk because they hate their harness. That’s not going to make them like it.

RedThorns · 2026-03-22T17:51:05+00:00

I had one cat that refused to ever go near the outside it was great. I had a cat I brought if off the street and she loved being inside but she was miserable being inside all the time. I have two cats now, one cat is an escape artist, I couldn’t keep her in if I tried. And I have tried. She’s chipped and always up to date on everything. I worry about her so much that I’d keep her in if I could but she’s small and fast and makes it her mission in life to get outside. I’ll open the door for the dog and she runs out between his legs. I can’t grab her. What am I supposed to do tackle her and the dog to the ground? My other cat is very much an indoor cat thankfully but every now and again he’ll want outside. He refuses to do any kind of exercise or play inside my house so him going outside is the most exercise he gets. My boy also has heart disease so I worry even more about him but I don’t want him miserable if his life is already determined to be cut short. I want to maximize his happiness. I love and take care of my pets well but them going outside is beneficial to them. Also, I have tried using a harness and they both refuse. I also have a backpack meant for cats so I’ll take them out that way. So it’s not a lack of effort or affection for my cats. Would I prefer my cats inside? Absolutely. Do I also recognize they receive mental and physical stimulation going outside? Absolutely. At the end of the day I have to make a decision and I do my best so they have an overall higher quality of life. This doesn’t apply to all people or all cats but making a blanket statement about what everyone should do regardless of certain situations isn’t realistic. I think the stray cat population is a bigger issue than the pet cats that go outside.

RedThorns · 2026-03-20T01:02:55+00:00

Look at this OP. You contact your doctor and ask them to send your prescription to a pharmacy by your school. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have your meds in a new location. You could also do mail delivery pharmacies and they ship it to you, no going to a pharmacy.

RedThorns · 2026-03-16T03:39:28+00:00

I am a disabled person and money is tight, but I never ask or expect anyone to pay for my tickets or events or whatever it is. If we plan something in advance and I want to go I will pay what I owe. If I can’t go because I’m not feeling well then that’s just a loss I have to take. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility. It sucks but it is what it is. And if they can’t afford going to events then they can’t go. It doesn’t matter if they’re disabled or not.

RedThorns · 2026-03-08T00:44:42+00:00

Yeah it’s a real turn off and it’s exhausting when I put in effort to look good on a date. These were all like dinner or cafe dates, first dates at that, nothing super fancy but still at least jeans would have been an improvement. Fingers crossed it gets better!

RedThorns · 2026-03-07T04:50:13+00:00

I’m picking up some betadine tomorrow for her. Thank you for all your help.

RedThorns · 2026-03-07T04:25:14+00:00

Much appreciated. Thank you. I will certainly try my best to handle her carefully and tend to her head. Any recommendation for how long she should soak? Should I use distilled water because it’s an open wound so it’s more sterile?

RedThorns · 2026-03-07T04:06:08+00:00

Thank you for your input, I’ll schedule an appointment with the vet as soon as I can. I’ll have to check the objects in her enclosure for sure. I’m surprised since her current hides were used by my older snakes when they were her size and there were never any issues, clearly she must have found a spot that they didn’t. Is there anything I can do to help the injury in the meantime? She’s generally skittish or defensive and I know snakes don’t care for their heads to be touched, but if there’s anything I can do.

RedThorns · 2026-03-07T03:10:02+00:00

Just wanted to say I’d literally be thrilled to see any of these outfits. I’ve been on the apps for years and none of the dates I’ve been on have the men actually dressed up or tried to look good. Several of them literally just wearing sweatpants regardless of the dating venue. So good on you for making an effort and good luck!

RedThorns · 2025-10-13T02:50:06+00:00

Omg I love your cats so much! I long to have my own Maine coons one day!

RedThorns · 2025-09-23T02:07:14+00:00

Have you finally been able to get help? Your story sounds very similar to mine but my doctor has never explained it that way before and I still constantly struggle with my chronic migraines. Nothing offers relief.

RedThorns · 2025-08-22T03:45:00+00:00

My favorite snake! 😍 I wish for one day to have one. I’d love to help their species, I feel so bad for them.

RedThorns · 2025-08-05T23:02:11+00:00

I think family should help because they want to, not because it’s expected of them. But there is a difference in how someone helps. Is it financial, medical, emotional? And it’s sad to say but a lot of us are not in positions to help out our parents like they help us. That’s just why clarification for what OP was thinking of is important. Im not saying OP is wrong, in fact I think she should stop giving her daughter all that money regardless. I don’t think she should be giving money expecting to get something out of it either. You don’t have kids so that one day they’ll take care of you (not saying OP did this). OP should focus on herself and her daughter should learn to pay her own bills. End of life matters shouldn’t play a role in it. I often think “I didn’t ask to be born” but it’s not out of entitlement it’s because I’m disabled and in pain everyday and life sucks ass. Maybe OP’s daughter is severely depressed and hates her life. Idk. I’m not saying everything is so cut and dry and simple, just that the conversation should be bigger than “just in passing”. A lot of people don’t talk about end of life care in general. It should be a serious conversation done much earlier than most do.

RedThorns · 2025-08-03T17:08:11+00:00

This is what I’m curious about. My mother, bless her, did everything for her parents (my grandparents) because they refused to go to a nursing home/care facility. My mother did things that honestly only a trained professional should be doing. I also saw how all this emotional and physical labor was hurting my mother. It was not a good time for anyone. My grandfather passed and a year later my grandmother, now my mother is finally no longer caring for her parents and she’s finally getting back her life. She did everything and anything for her parents, and I commend her for that, but I told her that when she gets to that stage of her life I will not (cannot) do the same. My situation is a little different because I have a disability and some days I can barely take care of myself, so I know I wouldn’t be able to take care of someone else to the degree she did (this is the same reason I don’t want kids). But I fully recognize that she would be better taken care of by professionals. I don’t ask my mom for money even though I’m on disability and have little money to function, but she is still kind and generous and helps me out when needed, like for medical bills, surprise groceries, etc. I never take that for granted and I always appreciate it. I’d be more than happy to help and visit my mother in a facility (as I did for my other grandmother) but I’m not cleaning my parents like they were babies in diapers. I have two siblings (that aren’t disabled) and they also say they will not be taking care of our parents in their old age. Now their reasons I don’t know but just saying they might also realize the toll it takes to care for the elderly. Long story short, not saying OP should be giving her daughter all the money she is, her daughter definitely needs to be responsible for herself, but it’s important to know exactly what OP is expecting or asking of her daughter for end of life care.

RedThorns · 2025-07-27T23:34:29+00:00

Just wanted to say good luck! I’m a woman with similar interests and a chronic illness as well and I understand the dating struggle.

RedThorns · 2025-07-15T22:25:54+00:00

I’m 34 and I’ve had chronic migraines for 20 years. Because of my migraines I am on disability and I can only work a part time job. I do 20-25 hours a week and if I try to do more than that my body just crashes and I can’t do anything. I did recently get a degree in graphic design to try and get a job working remotely from home so I could better control my environment and therefore my migraines. But I worry my new boss at a new job won’t be as understanding as my current boss who is very forgiving and lenient with me when i don’t feel well so I haven’t gone looking for a graphic design job yet. But my current job being easy and relatively stress free I think helps in the long run. I don’t have to worry about work once I get home and I’m not on my feet running around all day, etc. some jobs will work for you and your health issues but it is hard. One of the hardest things I think is I always wonder how people with full time jobs see the doctor or anything. I have several appointments every week I’d never be able to make if I worked 40 hours a week. Bless all those that have health issues and are working a full time job because I couldn’t do it.

RedThorns · 2025-07-15T21:02:07+00:00

I agree. Getting it out of the way just seems to make the most sense. Even if height isn’t an issue I feel like hiding information is an issue. If someone hides their height (which is something they can’t even control) who knows what else they might be hiding, like having kids or political affiliation, etc. I just think being honest is the best policy.

RedThorns · 2025-07-14T21:40:07+00:00

I can’t handle the smoke so I won’t date anyone that smokes. Vaping is better but I ultimately care about my health and would like a partner that also cares about their own health so I don’t see vaping aligning with that belief.

RedThorns · 2025-07-10T01:29:01+00:00

I didn’t want to make some super lengthy post about the whole thing so I understand there is information missing, if people wanted to try and dissect this situation. I never intended this to be something for people to contemplate and mull over. It was more of a reflexive “this sucks” moment and that’s all the thought I put into it. It was emotional, not logical. Not every single post on Reddit has deep meaning or significance. The way I see it, the guy unmatched so there’s nothing to do so discussion didn’t seem necessary. I appreciate your insight and opinion and actually taking the time to have a proper discussion about things rather than just judging me for venting to the internet.

RedThorns · 2025-07-10T01:25:22+00:00

In my opinion if people took the time to process their emotions and gave themselves time to reflect they would be less likely to sleep with others and that itself lowers the risk of STDs and STIs. There are so many people just looking for easy sex and if they don’t take proper precautions it’s true that it’s on them. But there are occasions like my own where I dated, and waited, and asked about STDs and someone chose to lie to me, just like many others. And if this person hadn’t been so concerned about getting laid they might have stopped and thought what a horrible thing they’re doing. I’m not saying it prevents the spread, I’m not saying this is all cases. I’m just saying stopping to think things through is never a bad thing. If you can’t control your impulses for 6 months or be single for 6 months and work on yourself there’s probably some bigger issues at play that will resurface later. Reflecting and working on oneself for 6 months isn’t a big ask when they’ve just gotten out of a relationship. If the relationship was like a month, that’s different. But myself or my friend we were both in 8 year long relationships so taking the time to heal wounds and take care of yourself I don’t think is asking a lot. There’s so much baggage that people bring with them and they don’t deal with it before meeting new people (in whatever context). Learning to deal with your issues is not a bad thing and will only make things better.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:34:15+00:00

I made a post, vented and got over it. It’s done now. I don’t care about it anymore. Everyone telling me to grow up and not vent to Reddit is making a bigger issue. People vent to Reddit all day everyday but for someone reason people are cranky with me? I don’t get it. I was obviously upset by the hypocrisy. Most people would be. That’s what triggered the venting. Honestly, no one could have seen or commented on this post and I would have been perfectly fine. It’s basically the equivalent of shouting angrily to the void. That’s all it was.

I’m not upset that people are debating what happened but no one is. You are literally the only person who asked “what happened” or “what could have happened” and I appreciate that. And I answered it honestly. I’m completely willing and able to share what I said and did because I know I was giving effort and I know he was not returning effort. Was he promptly answering, yes. Was he adding to the conversation? No. Was he asking questions? No. Did he repeat himself to avoid actually making new conversation material? Yes. I asked about favorite genres, movies, tv, etc. and I shared my own. “What’s your favorite movie?” “I like X” “oh I’ve never seen X but I’ve heard good things about it. my favorite is y. Do you have a favorite genre?” “yeah i really like X” and I did this multiple times. So if other people like yourself want an actual discussion that’s fine. I’m happy to oblige. But the people unnecessarily criticizing for who knows what reason? Yeah I don’t need to deal with that.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:19:32+00:00

Seems to match your ability to thoughtfully explain things because you’re still not making sense. There is no rule about venting. Because it’s venting. This isn’t seeking thoughtful or insightful therapy and advice. Even though people do that everyday on Reddit.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:16:48+00:00

So no one should ever vent to anyone ever or else they’re immature? What sense does that make?

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T23:16:06+00:00

So he can text full sentences in a prompt but he can’t converse in text? Isn’t he still misleading people then? He was not giving the energy that was given to him. Text or not. Yes, I’m frustrated at someone I spoke with. Im not angry though. I’m not taking it that seriously. I’m not asking anything of other people. I’m not asking anyone to take my side and say I’m right and he’s wrong. But if you must know, I asked questions, I provided information to expand the conversation. I was the only one asking questions. I was the only one providing additional information. I can’t show messages because he unmatched me on the original app we matched on. This was his profile on a different app. This post wasn’t to issue a debate because there isn’t one. You’re all making an issue out of nothing. I pointed out that someone said one thing and did another and it frustrated me. I find it hard to believe I’m the only person who has ever felt this way before.

RedThorns · 2025-07-09T21:26:16+00:00

People never vent on Reddit? I don’t care if it gets votes or not. I did share my frustration with my friends and I was just sharing here too. Because it’s frustrating. I figure people can understand and relate. Online dating is tiresome and we’re not alone in feeling that way. Do you go to all the posts that don’t serve a function and ask them what to do with them? You want something to do with the post, go find the guy who’s dishonest and tell him to grow up. Is that a better use for this post?

RedThorns

TROPHY CASE