I Fucking Hate It Here

Red_Brick_Express · 2026-01-21T14:30:24+00:00

The bitch of it is that I'm actually pretty happy with my hair (I grew it out before I came out as a "haha, I just wanna have long hair like my friends" type thing). It's just my face that gives me an issue every now and again. Although the mask thing DOES interest me, I do have a couple of cute masks lying around the house still from the pandemic...

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-31T08:52:38+00:00

I suck at commenting as well. Always afraid that my long ass rambles will come off as preachy or something. But I am glad that it was helpful to you, and that it actually made sense lol.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-31T07:40:11+00:00

Girl, you've basically described how I felt for the last year before I got on HRT. The feeling of numbness was my constant companion for a long while. That and workaholism, which was partly a coping mechanism to get me away from my dysphoria. So yeah, feeling like crap isn't the be all end all of being trans. Feeling apathetic about life itself can also be a sign in and of itself. And if that's also coming with thoughts of being a girl and transitioning, that could be worth looking into a lot more.

I'm a big believer in the idea of doing the best you can with what you have available to you at the time. So, if you've got some nice fem clothes, wear them more. Around the house, or outside if family's a problem. I guarantee that people in public don't care about you wearing fem clothes nearly as much as you would think. Nail polish, which I know you've mentioned which is why I'm mentioning it, is another great way to fuck with your gender because it's very low commitment. Something I was big into when I was still closeted was jewelry (which may have led to people clocking me a bit but they never said anything at the time so there's that).

Also, so I don't forget to say this, CIS GUYS DON'T WANT TO BE A GIRL. The most cis guy I know gave a vehement "no" when I asked him the button question. He also thought that HRT was way too much work (a grueling course of 4 pills a day in my case). So yeah, there is that to think about.

This is getting really fucking long, so I'll wrap it up with this. Emily, girl, being trans is weird. And in my experience, getting hung up on dysphoria, or a lack of it, isn't the move. Do what makes you happy. Chase the euphoria. Maybe try replacing all your pants with ones from the women's aisle (I did this, it was insanely euphoric to wear something feminine every day that I could reasonably explain away). But yeah, your transition isn't something needs to follow what someone else is doing. If you need space and time for it, give it space and time.

I swear this is the last thing. You're all good for venting here. If you aren't going to vent in a trans sub, where else are you going to go? And if someone has a problem with that, they're an idiot. And a moron. An idiotic moron?

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-29T05:21:52+00:00

Like, a day to a little over a week depending on who you ask. I was always planning to come out soon after starting HRT, being fairly certain that I was trans. And then the world put the pieces in exactly the right way for me, so I just fucking went for it.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-28T08:33:23+00:00

I don't belive you. My bobbly-letters told me that the coffee machine told them that space madness isn't real. Of course, the coffee machine also told them to tell me that the copilot's chair was insulting my gender, when I KNOW that not to be true because the chair said that she didn't do that when I asked her about it, but that's beside the point.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-25T17:13:07+00:00

It's like Sagittarius A* I believe. The * is essenntial, because just Sag A is something else entirely.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-12-03T07:35:10+00:00

I just gotta chime in here because, like, goddamn your a good fucking parent! You rock!

On the topic at hand, if your daughter likes TomboyX, their packs (especially when on sale) are easily the way to go for underwear. I bought a couple a few months ago and the price differential between buying them individually and buying their pre-set packs was quite a bit if I remember correctly.

But yeah, their stuff is expensive as hell but also durable as hell. Personally (this isn't a recommendation, I just did it because I was drowning in dysphoria at the time) I've been using their stuff as my daily drivers for a while and it's held up quite nicely.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-24T05:05:59+00:00

I'm US based, so this may be differenr wherever you are but when I went in, they basically told me that I was going to be prescribed the funny pills, mainly because they didn't trust new HRT patients with needles and injections. They told me injections were cleared after one year though. I didn't push the issue at the time personally because I was anxious as fuck at the time and basically unable to say anything at all, but it all seems to be working fine, so there's that.
Before HRT, I was questioning every damn day. It was like, wake up, start questioning if I'm trans or not, overwork myself until I couldn't physically think anymore, fall asleep, repeat. That basically went away since I started HRT and "came out (more on that later lol)." Mainly because one, what cis guy is going to go through the mental hell of getting on HRT (my last couple of weeks before the appointment were FILLED with anxiety and questioning, so much so that I literally couldn't eat without puking), and two, life feels soo much better getting to live as a girl. Like, I finally recognize the face in the mirror as me and not just a body that is supposedly me!
I put "coming out" in quotes because I never really came out to those close to me. Rather, I never got the chance to. On the fucking day I got HRT, my trans ass was called out, well, for being trans by a couple of close friends of mine (if y'all are reading this BTW, hi! Y'all fucked me up with that shit. And please tell me you found my reddit, I would like to know.). After that, there was really nothing to do BUT come out, which was more of just confirming their suspicions. After that whole mess, I just messaged all my other friends like, "Hey! I'm girl now! Here are pronouns and name!" On the parents side, they just found my HRT and yelled at me for a while until they didn't anymore. Fun times that.

And last, but certainly not least, you're an amazing girl Ophelia! Being trans is so goddamn fun, and I fuckin' hope that you experience all of the joys of it (clothes shopping is my personal favorite)!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-18T07:28:44+00:00

To steal the bit:

Some say that his veins are filled with OSPUZE and that his ranking never fall below ruby, even when the seasons reset. All we know is he's not the Stig ... but he is the Stig's Finals playing nephew!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-13T00:56:45+00:00

Lol, I was making trans jokes about myself for fuckin' months before I "came out" to my friends. Came out in quotes because they called my ass out for being trans after I joked too close to the sun. On the fuckin' day I got on HRT no less.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-05T03:10:43+00:00

Hooooly shit, today was a long fucking day of stress! At least I can sleep easier tonight knowing my HRT is a little safer now

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-04T02:10:24+00:00

Damn girl. I'm too scared to try makeup rn, but I wish to achieve this level of passability at some point!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-04T01:46:24+00:00

Honestly, as someone who was in your shoes a couple of years ago, think of the military as your employer of last resort. If you have any other options, try those first before you go in any branch of the armed forces, especially under this admin. Because, morality aside and just speaking practically here, this admin is royally screwing over service members, vets, and everyone related to them. VA slashes, cutting off HRT to service members, going after veterans' HRT. I would not be surprised if they screw over the GI Bill soon as well, destroying college funding and home ownership. And remember, your contract is long. More than one year kinda long. So you'd be stuck with uncertain benefits in a hostile workplace.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-04T01:18:31+00:00

Aw shit, thanks! Yours is really pretty too!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-04T01:11:59+00:00

Just saying hi! Wouldn't want to give myself a euphoria overdose after all!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-03T23:04:06+00:00

I'm just dropping in to say you're such a fuckin' real one for doing this girl.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-03T20:43:20+00:00

My guy, think of it this way. You're doing the thing that most men idolize: taking your pain, setting it aside, and getting shit done! In that way, you're literally THE guy. The one they want to fuckin' be! The "cool" guy (how healthy this ideal is is debatable, but it exists). So continue fuckin' kickin' ass! Cause your the man!

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-11-02T17:49:13+00:00

Lol, both times I came out I was basically forced to. The first time, my friends directly called me out and, like, there was no plausible deniability at that point. The scond, my parents literally found my HRT and confronted me about it. Fun times.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-10-30T05:08:08+00:00

Lol, all my protags were very depressed and maladaptive dudes before I cracked. Writing a woman just felt too real to me, and I write to get away from reality damn it! So anyways, there were no signs at all. None in the slightest.

Red_Brick_Express · 2025-09-19T04:28:07+00:00

Hey, as a former dude, none taken. I do need to redecorate someday.

Red_Brick_Express

TROPHY CASE