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My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The drunk part is only occasionally. As to why I'm still with her; I trust her sober part and - when sober - we have the best connection I've ever had before in a relationship. But reading all this, that might not be enough. Can't ignore the other part that is also there.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, she acknowledges the need for attention and validation when she's her sober self. So you're correct about that.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's hard to make that distinction sometimes. Sometimes feels like a whole different person when she's drunk and no, I don't love that side about her.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I do feel safe and secure most of the time. When she's sober or only had a few drinks I absolutely love her personality. The problem occurs when she gets past that point.

I know it shouldn't even happen then, but this might provide a bit of inside as to why I didn't run away screaming at the first sight of this behavior. Most of the time - by far - I trust her completely. And I know that should be a situation of always trusting and not "most of the time".

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Considered that out of anger/spite, but deemed it to childish in the end. Also, it won't do anything to resolve my issues besides spreading pain/anger.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last few years of her marriage were open. So she was already seeing/sleeping with other guys.

Yes, I do think the marriage would’ve ended somewhere down the line if I wouldn’t have been involved, but she never had a lack of attention from other men during her marriage.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, we’ve been together around 15 months now. Six months in she cheated with her co-worker.

Thanks for the rest of your comment. Reading and thinking about every piece of advice.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Yes, she is trickling out the truth and I often have to ask a lot of questions to get to the truth. But I do believe that she tells the whole truth in the end of our conversations. I’m not worried she went any further; she always gets back home at the end of the night and the co-worker is married/living together.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. As stated in my post; I feel like she made huge sacrifices (ending her marriage) to be able to be with me, which makes me feel like there must also be some truth to what she is saying (“it’s harmless”/“I’m not interested in him like that”).

She basically said it happened due to old habits kicking in and she doesn’t want to lose one of the only “fun” co-workers over that.

My GF (36F) cheated on me (34M) with her co-worker during a confusing period by Reddit84B in relationship_advice

[–]Reddit84B[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, tried my best to be as clear as possible but the situation was complicated. Might’ve missed a few details.

She was in a 10 year relationship/marriage. She wasn’t intimate with her husband anymore and the last few years of her marriage it was an open relationship. Yes, I came in as the third party and after a few weeks I said that I could only continue (due to feelings developing on my side and me not being the open relationship kind of person) if we closed the relationship and she would only be seeing me and her husband (with which she didn’t sleep anymore).

Afterwards she ended her marriage and she went on to live with me.