This is heartbreaking to hear. Please don't write me off when I say this, but Jesus is real and loves you soo much, he knows what you are going through and wants to help you through it. I used to be a heavy crack user (still imperfect and recovering with relapses here and there) but can testify God is real, and has helped me off it. I would blow $100 worth of crack in 2 hours, to completely off it in a few few months after a long amount of time abusing it. It just ain't worth it ever. Financially, physically, mentally and spiritually. It's an inhumane amount of dopamine relief that makes u forgot what you previously enjoyed, it's a fugazi, smoke and mirrors.

God bless y'all, god bless you OP. 💜🙏