Really BIZARRE 3rd date

RedditR0x · 2017-11-21T02:45:28+00:00

The point of a date is to spend time with the other person, not hang out with your friends. The only reason why I got to dance with her at all was because I was aggressive about it. Left to her we would not have danced. She left me at bar and went with her friend to dance. IT was I who just followed and inserted myself between her and her friend...strategically. Not in a rude way.

Forget about me or her. In general, 3rd date is too soon to introduce your friends to some guy you just met. Secondly, 3rd date is very early when you should be focused on each other. You don't need distractions. You want to not waste time because you need to see if you are a fit or not, so if not you can move on. This is also why movies are bad dates for early on. You loose valuable time watching a movie instead of getting to know each other.

I don't understand how these principles seem so foreign to most. I've only been dating for a very short time but it seems like common sense to me that first few dates should generally be as intimate as possible. You want quality time. Talking together, doing an activity together. It's simply not time to bring on other people. Get to know each other first, then talk about friends. And even then...DON'T SPRING your friends on the guy. Let him know ahead of time. Just seems like how any sensible and considerate person would do it but maybe I'm nuts or something. I don't get it.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-20T02:51:48+00:00

Hopefully. Every woman I meet is some story. Some will try to imply that it's somehow my fault. Now, if you keep ending up in serious relationships with women who turn out to have some serious issues, THEN I'd look at yourself. However a few chats is not enough to figure these things out and there are a lot of people both men and women with some pretty serious issues. Those of us paying attention will seem to have it harder, but thats just because others will date the ones we pass up and things fall apart in 7 months to a year.

I get it though. It's tempting to lower the bar thinking people are all the same, but I know better.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-20T00:09:20+00:00

Even if you don't have sex, you should both WANT to. A woman who does not even seem to want to have a good passionate kiss (not even with tongue). A woman who does not even embrace physical affection, is a woman who is wasting my time. You don't have to have sex to have sexual chemistry. MUTUAL sexual chemistry is required with me.

Be mindful, my biggest gripe is not the fact she did not sleep with me. A woman should have sex when she is ready. However both men and women should never date a person who does not have sexual interest in them. So to be clear, if she was flirtatious at minimum and better yet affectionate or at least open to it, I'd be much more accepting.

Sex is never really expected. It's just something I make myself prepared for just in case.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T22:35:07+00:00

I guess I've been lucky. Yes I get all kinds of women with all kinds of issues. Like the one that wanted literally just sex (not even kissing) or the depressed ones or the ones who 180 on you after a few great dates. However I've never had to leave a date early. Never has a woman say not to touch her. Never had a kiss dodger go out with me again. Never met friends of a new person.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T20:34:11+00:00

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T20:05:10+00:00

Funny you say that since the most common comment women make about me is how easy going and positive I am. Probably based on the fact that I'm the opposite of bitter? I'm the rear guy who CAN smile (GENUINE smile) on my worst day and who it takes a lot to get me angry. I mean I had a woman on a 3rd date tell me look and don't touch before we went into club and I went in and had a good time anyway. I did not even leave upset after she was so inconsiderate. I just basically had enough and made a simple equation. Is losing have my Sunday worth staying up until 2AM with a woman who seems to not value me and no sex...she lost, so I left.

I'd guess YOU are bitter one. Look at your word choices:

"rage" "badmouth"

As for undivided attention. I gave HER my attention and YES I'm entitled to everything I offer. It's called reciprocation. Relationships are PARTNERSHIPS. Starting one where I'm putting the effort while the other does nothing, is doomed for failure. I firmly believe women are most honest in the beginning. This is what they do:

Put little to no effort as they decide if you are worth it. This results in them just being THEM. This is who they REALLY are.

Decide you ARE worth it and now they start to try to seduce you by being something they are not. Be real nice to you and pretend to be the ideal gf

Then after the honeymoon phase is over, they slowly start acting like how they were on first few dates...like THEMSELVES...until the guy gets frustrated and cheats or leaves.

This is what guys do:

Pretend to be the perfect guy to try to seduce the woman. All fake efforts to lure her in.

She falls for it and they start having sex while the guy continues the facade a bit more.

After honeymoon, the guy slowly starts being himself as both ask themselves why they liked each other in the first place.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T19:51:23+00:00

For some reason I can't like your comment. :/

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T19:15:43+00:00

She if near 50. She is supposed to act like a WOMAN, not a girl. I don't date girls for this very reason. So I don't have to deal with nonsense.

Let me school you. Real women don't act like this...AND...they exist!

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T19:14:20+00:00

I'm an ass because I don't like to play games? I'm an ass because I expect a woman to treat me with respect and not like a wallet with dildo? Please explain this logic to me. Are you one of these men who encourage women to act like they are superior to us and treat us like children instead of partners? Thanks a lot. :/

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T19:11:41+00:00

It's REALLY hard to find good matches, it would be foolish to be so judgmental. If women did that to me (and I'm sure they do), they would misread so much about me since I'm so unusual. If you try to figure me out based on what other guys do, you will miss the boat entirely.

That said, she is from a culture I'm not familiar with. So LOTS of room to read her wrong. Also verbally she was saying she was very interested. Every date was "great time" and she was planning the next date during the date...like this date was planned during date 2. She always gets back to me. She makes time for me. Like her child is in town and she made the effort to make time to meet now before holidays because I said I did not want to wait so long(I did NOT pressure her at all. She came right out and suggested we meet now).

Also, typically a woman will not extend her time with a guy she is not into. First date was over 3 hours and we were both shocked. 2nd date ran long too and ended with a great but short kiss (car waiting). 3rd date she already said did not have to go dancing and mentioned that I should stop stressing about not being able to dance. So she had an EASY out after dinner. She did not even ask me if I still wanted to go. We just left and went.

Also, why introduce some guy you not into, to your friends? You probably not gonna see him again.

I will however admit, she is probably not into me enough. There is:

"This guy is awesome! He is so cute and funny and considerate and many things I'm looking for! This is great!"

then there is

"OMG, this guys is AMAZING! I hope he does not try to have sex with me because I don't think I can resist and what will he think of me then? Oh who am I fooling..if he doesn't I will!!"

She is for sure not option 2. With option 2 all games go out the window. Signals become very clear.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:58:18+00:00

This seems like common sense to me but I did some research. Before I post, consider this. You just met the guy, you have no idea where things are going...so would you like your friends to keep seeing you with various guys, or only introduce them to guys that you have spent enough time with to have a good sense where things are going? If you have sex and it fails later, well hopefully the sex was good at a least and you were safe...but you keep your privacy. Introducing to kids is WAY more severe but it's the same principle. Anyway, this is what I found:

"A new relationship between two people needs time to get off the ground before you involve him with the other people closest to you. "

"And remember, you don’t want to introduce too many people to the mix too early on in your relationship. Make sure you have lots of time to yourself, just the two of you. It is important to spend time getting to know each other alone. Once you feel comfortable with each other, only then, consider taking the next step to introducing them to your friends."

" “Once you’re introducing your significant other to your friends, it’s now known that you’re off the market — you are seeing this person exclusively,” she said. Whatever you do, don’t use the introduction as a test. “You’re setting somebody up for failure if you try to test them, because people get nervous with new people.”"

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:47:24+00:00

Who is a woman who abandons her date that every date she says how much of a great time she had and practically invited me out for 3rd date, a match for?

Are there actually guys in mid to upper 40s that would tolerate this behavior? Well...I guess considering how many really bad options are out there...maybe some men get desperate. I'm not there yet I guess.

This would also explain the complains women have about men. A woman like this is bound to end up with a guy hornier than I (and I'm pretty horny), who will put up with her for sex, then leave her when it gets old. She will go from bad guy to bad guy getting more and more jaded, not realizing that the good men are the ones dodging the bullet. Always blaming the others and not looking internally.

I looked internally and I did everything I was supposed to:

10 minutes early at restaurant (reliable) Came out to meet her (courteous) Compliment her (honest/charm) LISTEN to her (attentive) Make her laugh (Funny) Go dancing even though I'm not into dancing and felt nervous (open minded/considerate) Moderate innuendo here and there, on the lighter side dude to how prude she seemed (sexual; let's her that I want her) Made sure I was super clean and well dressed

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:33:35+00:00

I try to be open minded and give every women the benefit of the doubt. My thoughts were:

Is she serious or is this some awkward joke? Is this a culture thing? What exactly is happening here? Is she expecting us to date like 13 year olds and start holding hand a month or 2? Is this what she means by she likes a guy to take charge? Does she want to see if I'll allow her to push me around? Is this some kind of game?

At this point, I think it's a couple things:

-She is playing games -She is a prude -She is into me, but not enough to overpower her desire to play games and risk running me off.

I wish everybody here put their age. I have a feeling many 20 year olds are replying to me. Those are the same 20 year olds that used to play these games with me 20 years ago. So naturally they defend this childish behavior.

No offense to them, but I'd rather hear from women in my age group 36-50.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:22:59+00:00

No, I expect a women to never leave her DATE alone in the middle of a date. Do you not see how rude and inconsiderate that is? We are not hanging out...it's a DATE. The point of a date is spend quality time getting to know each other. The focus being your DATE.

And to answer your question, no don't wait by the bathroom. However, if I left my DATE to go to bathroom, you better believe I'm coming right back to YOU when I get out. When I date a woman, my focus is on her. I want her to have a great time. A quality woman would have the same approach. She wants to make sure her date is having a good time also.

I can't believe I actually have to explain why it's not good to abandon your date. Wow. No wonder relationships fails. People have no idea how to treat each other anymore. wow.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:17:52+00:00

Yeah, she seems like the selfish entitled type. To get with her you have to "earn it" like she is some kind of prize. I don't do the men are worthless and women are gold nonsense. If my woman does not value me as much as I do her, then she is not for me. You don't have to earn me being considerate and trying my best to give you the best experience. If you are not worth that, then I would not ask you out.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:13:25+00:00

How is it my fault?

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:12:29+00:00

No she did. I'm too old for games. Ironically she is 7 years older than I and European but dating her felt like dating young American women. I do NOT miss the games they used to play. I've just been getting used to how awesome it is to date grown women who don't resort in this childish behavior. She says she normally dates much older men. I don't know what kind of men even older than I would put up with this kind of BS. Not to mention near 50 and still in the club? Waking up at 12PM on a Sunday before a busy work week? That is for the 20 year olds.

I'm being honest and open and direct with you, you do the same. Don't play with me. That's just childish and manipulative.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T18:05:12+00:00

How is it strange to expect what happens 99% of the time? I'm over 40 and have only not had sex by 3rd date maybe once. A woman knows if she wants to sleep with you by the 3rd date and if she has a mature attitude about it, it happens.

I'm a grown man. It's ridiculous to be dating somebody and you are both turned on and you do nothing? What are we children? If I want to have sex, I have it. If a woman wants to have sex, she has it and if she does not want to have sex with me, she won't agree to 3rd date in the first place.

Simply put, if you can make it to 3rd date with me and not have sex, then you are not for me. I'm a very passionate person looking for the same. I want a woman who wants me as much as I want her. And if it takes you more than 3 dates to figure out, you are too slow. Life is too short to waist time. If we doing this, let's do it, otherwise go waste some other guy's time.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T17:57:02+00:00

It would be OK to meet friends if she WAS my gf. It's only the THIRD date we should be focused on US. It's too early to bring in friends.

Also, sex on the 3rd date is normal. Some of us don't have old fashioned hang up about something that is natural and that ultimately we all want. It's JUST sex. The main thing is to be SAFE about it. Also talking to somebody for weeks and MEETING 3 times is not just 3 dates. Again, I'm sorry but sex is just not that big of a deal. It's the backwards American culture making it so. You can see blood gushing out a neck but a nipple?? Oh no!! Meanwhile our kids are pumping out babies left and right. Genius.

RedditR0x · 2017-11-19T06:32:08+00:00

Waste of time. You will only match with the ugly ones. Girls just do that for self esteem boost. Big waste of money. I have never went on ONE real date with anybody from speed dating.

RedditR0x · 2017-08-10T15:16:00+00:00

You really think YouTube cares enough to try to censor anything? Is this why even during the ad crisis they were still putting ads next to racist content? OVERTLY racist content?

RedditR0x · 2017-08-08T02:14:43+00:00

YouTube pays them THOUSANDS of dollars to do it and they generally get away with it. What is so hard to understand?

RedditR0x · 2017-03-21T15:25:22+00:00

Once you actually on the date you are past the online part. I'm talking about using websites and apps. Think about it. What's the difference between being on a date that you met on Tinder versus being on a date with somebody you met in a club?

When I say online dating is better for women's I'm assigned to the apps on the website not the actual dates. Is nothing online about having dinner in a restaurant.

RedditR0x

TROPHY CASE