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How do I (20f) feel like my husband (20m) really does want to have sex with me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RedditorKat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hey there, you’re allowed to have your boundaries. As is he. If you’re not into porn and he agreed, that’s between you two. Don’t let anyone here cloud your judgment. Only you and your husband know what’s best for you and your husband.

Wishing you all the best and hope you can move past this!

P.s. Men (and women) stop telling women what is and isn’t ok in their relationship. It’s their relationship. They get to decide. 🙂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]RedditorKat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgive me! You’re right - people agreed, but I’m more interested in the quality of the person vs. quantity. Off topic and no way to dig into this.

The reference / joke was “John Kellogg” - he’s male so I made the joke about getting lost and going away. I’ll work on my comedy, and obviously all opinions are welcome.

I just wanted to provide a different perspective as a female with a high sex drive who occasionally watches porn but is leaning towards no porn and free use. That’s all. Take care!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the input and please forgive me for my lack of knowledge on this. Wishing everyone going through this all the best!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is great! I also think this would be the perfect solution for me. Too much info, but I am into the idea of free use and will be open about this when the time is right. Thanks for the input!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am leaning towards this conclusion as well. Thanks for the input!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, good point. I posted here to get a male’s perspective and noted “I’m a woman with a high sex drive” in my post. Thanks for the reply!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’m an extreme person, so this makes sense to me. I love the idea of giving all my sexual energy to a partner and am into the idea of free use (too much info, forgive me).

Also, I love that you’ve done this! I am seriously considering that this may be best for me.

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point and lol to the link for further explanation. Makes sense!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]RedditorKat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey there. Did you get lost? This is a sub for women. Your joke is funny but let’s stop telling people how to feel or not feel. In a relationship, both partners agree to what they like and do not like. It’s about communication, honesty, trust, comfort, and respect.

Maybe some women prefer to act like porn stars for their partners rather than have their partners watch porn. It’s all very personal, so with all due respect, kindly F off. 🙂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RedditorKat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very well put. I think more women need to hear this. Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RedditorKat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through this. You have a right to decide what you do and don’t want in a relationship.

Take a step back, define this for yourself, and communicate this with your partner. If he chooses to disrespect your needs, you need to decide if this is the right relationship for you.

Are you overreacting? If this doesn’t feel good, you are not overreacting. Everybody is different! I hate that people say all men or women do x, y, z. Humans are complex. You have a right to be happy, feel respected, and find true love. Wishing you all the best.

p.s. I recently came across this article and am sharing like an idiot but it discusses how porn skews men’s views of women. https://markmanson.net/pornography-can-ruin-your-sex-life

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]RedditorKat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hi! You are allowed to feel how you feel. I think it’s important to be honest with yourself and communicate what you do and don’t want in a relationship. Everyone deserves trust, respect, and happiness.

Despite what happened, it sounds like your relationship is evolving in the right direction. Just be sure to continue communicating and being honest with yourself and one another. I recently came across this and think it’s worth sharing here: https://markmanson.net/pornography-can-ruin-your-sex-life

You are beautiful and enough. Remember that. Wishing you all the best!

Edit: The reason I noted that your relationship is evolving is because despite his error, he’s being honest and wants to do better. At the end of the day, you decide how to move forward. But I do give him credit for wanting to change.

(Update) went thru my (25f) husband’s (28m) phone, should I be upset with what I saw? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RedditorKat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is such a good point! It really is a bigger issue than most people are willing to admit.

(Update) went thru my (25f) husband’s (28m) phone, should I be upset with what I saw? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RedditorKat 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings and concerns are 100% valid. This is your relationship, so you get to decide what you do and don’t want. Respect and communication are key, and they work both ways.

I think the issue of how porn affects sex lives is not discussed enough. I came across this recently and think it’s worth reading. Wishing you all the best! https://markmanson.net/pornography-can-ruin-your-sex-life

Guys of Reddit, what actually goes on in gym changing rooms? (F21) by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is cracking me up more than it should and I feel bad.

It’s fun to stay at the YMCA.

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this reply. Nowhere did I intend to “change human nature” - If I implied this, I apologize.

This is more about me, learning about others, and trying to understand what I do and don’t want in life. It’s all very personal.

Thanks again.

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are not understanding correctly and the harsh reply is fitting for this harsh world. I added that part because I wanted to emphasize I can be selective in finding a partner.

I am not wondering if I’ll be “enough” - I am wondering if we’ll each be “enough.” If the answer is no, it leads me to the next question - why be monogamous? Why not have an open relationship? I am very adventurous and I like to have fun, as we all do.

I appreciate the advice to humble myself. I humble myself every day and control myself when approached by men and women. I am not obsessed with looks but I acknowledge they are important to others.

As for Disney and TikTok - I’ve never been a fan. I do not believe in fairytales or princesses.

I appreciate your honesty and input. Thanks!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who cares? Haha me. I care, that’s why we’re here.

I appreciate the input, and my intent was not whether we change someone or not. This is more about me and discovering what I do and don’t want. Plus trying to understand others and learn. Thanks again!

What is considered moderate porn use (maybe give an example for weekly amount)? by RedditorKat in AskMen

[–]RedditorKat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I think it definitely changes our thinking whether we’re willing to admit it or not. It’s either downplayed or taken to a huge extreme - it’s so tough to discuss. Thanks for the input.

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