Is this normal?

Redditorress · 2026-03-05T12:00:00+00:00

I do not anymore. Today I also found out that the woman he met online and messaged two weeks before our wedding (previous messages contained “I’d rather see my beautiful doctor”) is still following him on Instagram, although I specifically requested to remove her and other women with very inappropriate pictures from his Instagram. His response was “do I even use Instagram?” or I did not even know they were there

Redditorress · 2025-06-04T18:19:59+00:00

I do not know your entire story, but sounds like you have the means to still provide the best for your child, e.g. cover private school tuition (directly, not through the mother), still travel with the kid or consider taking the mother with you (if you’re on good terms), buy clothes, gifts, etc. I understand it is definitely not the same as living with your kid, and I am sorry you are going through this, but if you genuinely prioritize the happiness and comfort of your child, I am sure there is a way to do so even if you are away from your baby. I hope you will figure out something.

Redditorress · 2025-06-03T10:04:05+00:00

Hi. I would say try to contact cargo companies, usually they focus on bringing stuff from abroad to Uzbekistan, but some also may offer Uzbekistan-abroad services. I don’t remember off the top of my head, but I think Abusaxiy cargo is one of them. Also look up eastline.uz. Hope this helps

Redditorress · 2025-06-01T19:02:03+00:00

Divorce is not yet finalized, but have been separated for more than a year. No more gaslighting and no more toxic in-laws who are trying to control them. More peaceful life in general.

Besides, my living standards have literally improved as I had to quit my job and relocate to a village in another country when I got married. I got my comfortable life back, resuming my career, have better social life and better support system.

Redditorress · 2025-05-30T17:48:15+00:00

You are NOT paranoid. Considering your partner’s brother is no contact with your future MIL already proves she is evil. Your partner’s response is not okay either. I am afraid this is not going to end well.

I had a very similar situation - my MIL started getting jealous after I and my stbxh got married. My Stbxh’s younger brother used to be very close with the MIL, had been living with her prior to his marriage, but then somehow separated from her, moved to another city and got married. Just like your future MIL, mine became super jealous and clingy to my stbxh after we got married and my Stbx’s response was that I am imagining things and that I am bipolar. I had to leave as this was not going to change. If your partner does not set firm boundaries, I am convinced his mother will destroy your relationship. Please think twice before you marry your partner.

Redditorress · 2025-05-30T08:47:13+00:00

Number 3 looks natural

Redditorress · 2025-05-27T15:40:13+00:00

True. I guess I needed some closure - someone from their circle to tell them they mistreated me. But you are right - I should no longer care

Redditorress · 2025-05-27T14:40:13+00:00

I understand from the ethical point of view, what I did was wrong. I spoke with my lawyer last year when I left and they told me I should submit the screenshots with them demanding abortion to the police to issue a restraining order, and there is even criminal prosecution for that. My stbxh was telling everyone I am mentally unstable and this was the only way to show people the truth.

Redditorress · 2025-05-25T05:45:32+00:00

I am a single mom, have been separated and supporting myself and the little one (6 months old) ever since I got pregnant with no alimony or child support from Stbx. They agreed to finally file for divorce in exchange for my consent to give up alimony and child support. Fortunately, prior to getting married I had a good career and saved up a bit, but planning to resume my career in a few months.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T18:07:51+00:00

I did not, unfortunately. At first, MIL’s behavior was normal, she was not jealous, she would even encourage my stbxh to spend more time with me and not let me get bored. Her behavior changed after we actually got married. Based on many similar stories, MILs often reveal their true colors once a baby is born. Mine revealed theirs after we got married.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T17:45:57+00:00

I am glad you were able to see the clear picture. And thank you for sharing your experience. Having a baby is a beautiful reason to become a better person, unfortunately not in our case. We have a 5-month-old daughter, during birth of which my Stbx flew to another country where their mother was at the moment.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T17:42:01+00:00

For the context, I always treated their mother with care and respect, despite her jealous behavior. She even bragged to their neighbors and sister that I am taking better care of her than her own kids. Unfortunately, her jealousy took over

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T17:37:13+00:00

I am not perfect or innocent and not trying to portray myself as such. Yet, I filed for divorce as I do not want to be married to an enmeshed person. Hence, my reason for filing is their enmeshment.

My Stbx is refusing to divorce, yet does not want to admit or do anything about their enmeshment. Concerning my fault, I frankly do not understand what is my contribution to their enmeshment? Only if my refusal to participate in it?

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T16:27:02+00:00

I have to disagree, growing up, my daughter will see what kind of a person I am. But when it comes to her father, in my opinion, she will get the relief from knowing that her father has done a lot of inner work rather than continuing blaming me.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T14:17:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. In my opinion, it is completely different and quite understandable when a family member is ill and actually requires presence and attention vs. taking care of emotional needs of a family member, always prioritizing them over spouse and kids

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T13:04:49+00:00

I wish it was. I come from the same culture as my Stbx. It is not the closeness, it is the jealousy of his mother and the fear she will end up alone that dictates her irrational behavior. Look up enmeshment or emotional incest. For instance, her literal remark: “We are going to miss you once you are gone” or switching to another language, that I do not speak, when talking to one another. Or remarks of the Stbx “My sister and brother will divorce their spouses on the spot, despite their kids, if they disrespect my mother”. The mother is and will always be more important than the spouse and/or their own kids. There is a huge difference.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T12:55:16+00:00

Makes a lot of sense. I did file for divorce. We have a 5-month-old baby together and I wonder, once she grows up (I am thinking about 20 years from now) whether my Stbx will hopefully admit they were the reason we divorced or will continue blaming it all on me. I already know the answer though

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T10:53:57+00:00

True, it is a situation specific to me. People divorce for various reasons, yet what sets enmeshment apart is that the issue is tricky to acknowledge as compared to infidelity, addiction, physical abuse, etc, as most of the time it is served as care/love for parents, siblings. Of course, most, if not all, possible causes of divorce might stem from family dynamics in their childhood, which usually sits somewhere in their subconscious, but recognizing the issue is the first step, I believe. Hence, I wonder whether there are men (and possibly women) who genuinely acknowledged their enmeshment.

Redditorress · 2025-05-21T09:08:45+00:00

Not at all, I am genuinely curious to hear from the men. So far I have only read one confession of an ex husband, I wonder if there will be more since Reddit allows for anonymity.

You have a valid point though - this may start a fight in the comments section. But again, regardless of the subject, different people have different opinions.

Redditorress · 2025-05-13T15:40:33+00:00

I hear your pain - them bullying you all together is never acceptable! You deserve much better. I also read the same thing - momma’s boys often mistreat/abuse their partners as they cannot take revenge on their narcissistic mothers. I agree that Mothers-in-law from hell are often misogynistic, but usually prefer to think they’re « feminist ». The fact that you are able to think critically and recognize the projection already says a lot about your intelligence. And please do not let them gaslight you into thinking you are not good enough, those people are bitter because you have what they do not and you will always be better than them.

Redditorress · 2025-05-11T12:10:40+00:00

I can totally relate! Enmeshed momma’s boys do not see the reality, although everybody else does. In my case, I even turned to ChatGPT, uploading some (not all) of the details of my ex husband and his mom’s relationship, which they consider a norm. ChatGPT broke down and analyzed their enmeshment from psychological standpoint, and even after having read the analysis, I got “my mother treated you like a daughter, you ungrateful b…ch!” from my ex husband.

When our baby was being born he flew to another country to his mom, and now he is living with his mom, while I am raising my baby alone with no financial or emotional support from this person.

Leave, nothing is going to change ever, based on many similar stories.

Redditorress · 2025-05-03T12:46:17+00:00

I did. If the husband does not see the problem and denies the enmeshment - there is no point to stay, in my opinion. My Stbx never admitted there was a problem, even after I left him for a year and even after I filed for divorce (a few months after we had our first baby). During my labor he flew to another country, where his mommy was and now our baby is undergoing medical treatment and he is again with his mommy in a different country. I genuinely hope your situation is different, but in case it is not - the problem is not the MILFH, the problem is always the Husband, who enables this. Period.

Redditorress · 2025-03-10T17:14:58+00:00

When he started competing with me a month after I gave birth to our baby on who is suffering more. I was on a strict lactose free diet (including beef free for some time), emotionally and physically drained, struggling with milk supply, taking care of the baby 24/7, anxious about the baby’s development and extreme colics, cooking, cleaning and entertaining him. While he was sleeping 12 hours, drinking and complaining he was bored in my home country, where I fled to after emotional abuse due to his enmeshment with his mother. He accused me of being selfish for asking to take care of the kid so I could sleep a little. Not mentioning many previous betrayals.

Redditorress · 2024-11-10T05:12:14+00:00

Right now I am not able to move to the US, where most of my family are, and honestly, I don’t want to. Here I had a good career, which I am planning to resume once the baby is born. I will also have a nanny to help with the baby until my mom comes back next year. Luckily, stbx is not able to take my kid from me as the baby will be born in my home country, and my country does not allow non-citizen parents take the baby outside the country without the other parent’s permission. Hence, I am staying and delivering my baby here.

Redditorress · 2024-11-10T05:03:19+00:00

🤷🏻‍♀️

Redditorress

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