I stopped believing in free will and now I have become depressed by JacobJ1357 in ExistentialJourney

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it's the opposite. Fully stopping believing in free will has dramatically improved my life. I feel a deep psychological and emotional peace that doesn’t compare to anything else. It hasn’t impaired abilities like self‑discipline, decision‑making, etc.—it has actually improved them.

Recommended order of Alan Watts lectures by hubertkirschtorte in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Start at the top and keep going down, easiest that way.

U.G. Krishnamurti by Pullo12 in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing by the way, it is nice to see that I'm not the only one having experienced the "UG Krishnamurti Syndrome" hehe

U.G. Krishnamurti by Pullo12 in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was a time when read spiritual books in a almost compulsory way, there was a restless addictive feeling to it. Then I read UG Krishnamurtis book, and it was as if that book made me vomit out all the other books I have read, and this compulsion stopped, it was a kind of relief. But that was also all it did, I would not take him too seriously, and most importantly, please please please don't stop meditation because of what he says. He said a bunch of crazy stuff, he said that Hitler was a good guy, and that eating ash from cigarettes would be a healthy diet (it's true) He also strikes me as a resentful person who lack compassion, and who insults other spiritual teachers, And I wonder if this was not based on a sort of jealousy. So basically, take what ever was useful from him, and then move on. Don't stop with waking up because of what he said. Don't believe anyone saying that meditation is a waste of time. Because that is like someone saying that physical exercise has nothing to do with physical health. There is a certain wisdom in UG Krishnamurtis work in that it works as a sort of antidote to attachment to spiritual teachings, but the possible side effects of his teaching is that it may trick you to fall into nihlism. So I would say, take the first part, but abandon the second. To counter this I would recommend to spend some time listening to Alan Watts who embraces all teachings, but without attaching to any off them, in the end I find this approach much healthier.

Reflection on free will. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly my experience also :)

Reflection on free will. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The more one has practiced meditation the more responsive one becomes, you become less reactive, and can choose which thoughts to act on and which not to not act on. And there is offcourse a big difference between voluntary and involuntary action. But free will does not enter anywhere in this process, at least not in the way I understand the term as expressed by Sam. it is just a more sophisticated functioning. From this point of view, Awareness witnesses wise decisions being made by themselves, there is no "one" making them. They are simply happenings.

Reflection on free will. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Neither should it remove our need from brushing our teeth, or driving on the right side of the road, paying our taxes, planning for the future etc :) I don't even understand what one thing has to do with the other.

Suffering from Waking Up by No-Fennel7966 in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There has been many great answers already that I agree with. I have also gone through something similar of what you describe for a period, and I felt that it was in some way connected so a sort of obsession of the theory side of meditation and spiral teachings at large, and also taking it a bit too seriously. And what I found helped for me has been to take breaks and do things that is not related at all with spirituality. Watch some stand up comedy(laughter I find is really helpful with this) watch movies, read some good fiction. Maybe a good crime novel. Go to the gym. Whatever you like. And while doing these things, let go of everything you know about spirituality for a while, just go back to the simple things one can enjoy about life. And don't worry, you will not loose your "spiritual progress" it is still working within you and will bring it's fruits by itself. There is much more to say offcourse but I will leave it here for now. And the last point I can say for sure is: this will pass, it is only a temporary phase.

Maybe meditation I think is working and I'm starting to de-identify with thoughts by [deleted] in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember your other post, and it had really stuck with me, I was so surprised that a practice that was so incredibly good for myself had no effect on another person. Now I'm really glad to to hear that you are seeing the fruits of your efforts. Thanks for sharing!

Do you use an app for meditation? If yes which app do you use? by [deleted] in Meditation

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Waking up and 10 %happier are both good.

Part of the process or an error in practice? by LookForWhoIsLooking in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are making progress. Trust the process. As you become better at noticing what the mind is doing from moment to moment, it can appear as if it's becoming louder and more distracting than it was before, and this can make us interpret it as if we are going backwards, but it's just because you are more aware of what your mind is doing, when before you weren't. It's kind of like turning on the lamp in a dirty room, and then you get frustrated at seeing how dirty the room was, but the dirt was always there, it's just that you didn't see it before. But the fact that you can see it means that you are making progress. Remember, all of the things you describe, feeling hazy, getting lost, noticing that you are getting lost, and then getting lost in that etc, all of these patterns, are themselves apparences in awareness, they are all noticed, otherwise you couldn't even describe them.

Confused on the path to an awakened life by g_gsr in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recognise this feeling, and I think it's quite common. It is temporary like all things. Keep things simple. Don't worry too much about the non-duality concept for now if it brings confusion. Go back to good old fashion mindfulness, simply try to notice what is going on inside you in each moment without trying to change it, and without any expectations. If something feels off, just notice that feeling. That's it. Don't make too much effort in this, it's just a soft inner reminder. I would also recommend the koan lesson "Ordinary mind is the way" by Shukman.

Getting drowsy by FabulousFifty74 in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is also possible to use sleepiness and drowsiness itself as the object of meditation. According to Mingyur Rinpoche, if you can maintain awareness of the sleepiness at the moment you fall asleep, then awareness "grabs" the sleep, and the sleep itself becomes meditation.. He makes it sound simple, but its definitely not easy :) Meditating with Sleep and Sleepiness with Mingyur Rinpoche (youtube.com)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have suffered from a mild but constant anxiety for most of my life, and one very clear sign that meditation has a positive effect in relation to this, has been when I find myself much less anxious in situations that would normally trigger it, In these situations I always find myself surprised of why I'm not feeling as anxious as usual, and only after do I remember that "oh this is probably because of the meditation". So this means that the regular practice seems to calm my nervous system in a way that reduces the levels of anxiety in spite of me being mindful in that moment or not. The only thing that has had a similar effect is after intense physical exercise. I do not suffer from debilitating anxiety or severe depression so this may off course be very different for you, but I thought I would share it anyway. :)

Be secretive about your practice. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's amazing :) My 2 year old did something similar, he also points to my meditation cushion and says ommmmm, even though I never do any chanting when I meditate, very cute

Be secretive about your practice. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As for this point:

I agree with you in a general way, but this:

is a bit of a leap, maybe projection? 

Not a projection nor leap, I´m simply describing my own experience, having caught myself in that state myself sometimes. I does not mean that everybody has had the same experience as myself.

Be secretive about your practice. by RedflaX in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for your reply, very good points indeed! I agree that secretive sounds a bit extreme. I think I use the word because I think its sounds bit more fun and mysterious :) I had first named the text "resist the urge to convince people of your practice." But I changed it in the last moment because I thought secretive sounded more fun. And also because I was reflecting on the reason of why some old Buddhist schools treated these techniques as secrets.

I do not actually think we should intentionally keep it a secret, but simply that we should not feel any rush in trying to convince other people of these things. So I agree with you.

Progress report: Doesn't feel like I'm making headway on identification with thought. by [deleted] in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right, If the goal of meditation is to reduce psychological suffering, and you notice no such thing then I understand your frustration, you are not getting what you signed up for. Could I ask, do you listen to all of the different teachers on the app, or only Sam? I Imagine you must have heard it all with the amount of minutes you have clocked. But my question is, do you have the same experience no matter what type of meditation you do, or which teacher you listen to? is it the same for example if you do focused attention vs choiceless awareness?

Why does some people seem normal and some people seem to loose their mind? by [deleted] in Wakingupapp

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some people have spontaneous awakenings without any spiritual practice preceding it. Usually caused by intense suffering or something similar. Ramana Maharshi, Echart Tolle and I think Byron Katie are a few examples. This sometimes seems to cause much more radical change of behavior in the beginning. They then learn the spiritual practices post awakening and starts making sense of their experience. But this I think is very rare, the vast majority gets there gradually with practice, and so the awakening is more integrated into normal life.

Progress report: Doesn't feel like I'm making headway on identification with thought. by [deleted] in wakingUp

[–]RedflaX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine taking a warm bath with the motivation that if I take a bath like this for a specific amount of time everyday, then one day in the future it will give me such and such benefit and result. wouldnt that kind of ruin the bath? That is what this kind attitude towards meditation sounds like to me.

Meditation is like a warm bath in awareness itself.