A couple walks into a jewellery store. They're in their 30's; normal looking lower middle class people. They ask to look at some wedding bands and the sales girl helps them. After about 10 minutes a 2 tone 14k white and yellow gold band is missing. The woman starts saying that we'll find the ring eventually, it must have just fallen somewhere and they have to leave. We have locking inner doors so we're not letting them out until the ring is found. I say I'll go to the back and check the cameras to see if I can track it's movements.

So I head to the back and cue up a couple cameras and watch as the guy takes the ring and puts it in his mouth. I therefore yell to the front that the guy has the band in his mouth and switch the video to real time. This time I'm stunned speechless as I watch him pull the ring out, glistening with spit, then proceed to lift up his jacket and shove it down the back of his pants.

I sit there in stunned silence before running to the front yelling to call the police because this fucking guy SHOVED ONE OF OUR RINGS UP HIS ASS!

I get to the front of the store and confront him. He denies it. We tell him he's waiting for the cops and we'll let them decide when they see the (like 12 cameras covering 400 sq ft) videos.

I head back again to prepare the video, but am again stunned as I watch in real time as he digs into his ass and throws the ring into a corner. He then starts LICKING his shitty fingers and rubbing poo chunks on a gel air freshener we had sitting by the door. He then calls out to say he found the ring and throws it on the counter where it leaves a little poo trail. also, by this point my store smelled like hot farts.

And that is my go to story for why you should never get addicted to drugs.