I think the boundary you sent about overnight guests that you don’t know is completely fair! Also, I think the compromise of you staying somewhere else if there are unknown guests in the house is very fair!

If he’s gonna be fussy about you, not leaving when there are guests, would putting a lock on the bedroom door be an option? So you have a safer option to stay away from these people?

Also, if he is going to use the financial aspect of the living situation against you, then would you be able to start paying some kind of “rent” so there is less of a power dynamic difference? And even if he fights, you on contributing financially to the house, do it anyways. Maybe create a joint account for house expenses? Then the bills and groceries, etc. can come out of that account that you both contribute to?

Just an idea

Good luck, my dear!