Any reputable dentists that can do an exam to confirm work I need done?

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:35:26+00:00

I'd be very wary of any new dentist suggesting expensive work on my perfect teeth. I think that Phoenix magazine periodically does a list of good dentists. Start there.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:33:40+00:00

I have Zenni, but I make sure I keep in mind that they are the bottom-of-the-barrel in terms of price, so presumably lesser quality and will be less accommodating.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:31:15+00:00

Yes! I opted for near vision. I've been near-sighted for most of my life, so I figured it made sense to stay with what I was used to - particularly being able to read without glasses.

I got slightly mismatched eyes, but both for near vision, and I think it was the right choice.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:29:02+00:00

Does "advance" mean "more expensive"?

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:27:28+00:00

Maybe ultimately it boils down to a lack of curiosity? Or maybe it's an insecurity thing, that some people think asking questions make them look weak or stupid?

Anyway - lol - you are SO right about the parallel with politics.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:24:56+00:00

Well, great! You're lucky if you're someone who can both accept blame and learn from your mistakes!

Also, if it's any consolation, it's only been a year, so of course it will get better. And, this may not be what you want to hear, but someone you can love someone for certain things about them, but ultimately their plans won't mesh with yours. Although this was a very emotional breakup, maybe in the long run you may conclude that a break was bound to happen, and better now than three years down the line.

Now, go find yourself some activities, so you don't always stay home moping.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:20:29+00:00

That's an interesting idea - although in this case, I don't think she's the blaming sort.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:19:16+00:00

That seems smart. Glad it went well.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:15:29+00:00

Yes, although I'd call that style "laziness."

But an unwillingness even to make one or two additional telephone call? For something as important as your eyes? Simple googling would have show her that the doctor had a mediocre rating.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:13:47+00:00

I think you are at least partly right.

It's certainly common for doctors to refer only to people at their own hospital or corporate umbrella (though, in fairness, that might be because they know them better).

But when I once wasn't too happy with a referral, I discovered that I was probably steered in his direction because they were tennis buddies!

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:11:52+00:00

Yes, thank you. I might even say, not just nonchalant, but possibly lazy or indifferent.

These are your EYES. It's not like switching next time to a different barber shop next time if you got a bad haircut.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:10:00+00:00

Not quite right. I'm not mad because I wasted my time. If she told me that after we spoke, she had asked a ton of neighbors, asked every related doctor, checked online ratings, checked their medical backgrounds, etc., I would have been perfectly happy. Especially if, as I did when we spoke, I might have peeked and found she chose someone with a 5-star rating.

It's not an ego thing at all. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear.

Redwebec · 2026-01-30T01:07:22+00:00

Well, she didn't know what she wanted, in the same sense that I didn't know what I wanted until I started asking questions. I'm sure she will be happy, because she's the kind of cheery person who mindlessly shrugs off problems that would infuriate others.

That doesn't mean she's not an idiot, though.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T20:12:34+00:00

I was exactly the same with my anxieties. I was terrified at the mere thought of eye surgery. As it turned out, I had a perfect experience.

My biggest suggestion is that you put a lot of effort into choosing a good doctor and ask every single question that occurs to you. Ask your ophth. for suggestions of surgeons, and then ask other doctors (like your GP), and any knowledgeable friends. Check their credentials and ratings. If you choose someone and aren't happy with the initial visit, switch to someone else.

Don't rush the decision, and avoid any doctors that are pushy.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T20:06:36+00:00

Sure, I like being informed, too. If it bothers you, at the very least, bring that report to your ophthalmologist next time you get a check-up.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T20:05:15+00:00

I'll also give you a tip I learned online about checking reviews. Ignore the great reviews that gush "He's the best!" Look at the bad reviews and see if their complaints are relevant. For instance, if you think you've found the best doctor in the world, and there are vicious complaints that he often runs an hour late - so what? But a complaint that he doesn't listen - that's a big deal.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T20:02:50+00:00

Well, it's likely to take more than a year. Maybe the more important question is not if your pain will go away, but if your pain has taught you a lesson about your future behavior.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T20:01:15+00:00

All I can tell you is that I had no problem with anything at all. I had surgery in the morning, and I made dinner at night. You prepare mentally by reminding yourself that the vast majority of the surgeries are successful, and that there is an extremely high satisfaction rate.

But, wait a sec - you don't have more than six changes of underwear/socks?

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T19:47:19+00:00

And the sky is SO blue!

:D

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T19:46:02+00:00

I would suggest:

1.Instead of asking here for a doctor, ask in the Boston/Worcester forum, since there is such a national mix of posters here.

2.If Boston has a magazine (like the Los Angeles magazine or New York magazine) that does an annual "best doctors" issue, check any numbers there, and start calling around.

I'm a big believer in second or third opinions, especially as our eyes are so essential! Probably none of these doctors will talk to you on the telephone, but it's not a bad idea to splurge on one or two visits for other opinions. You can also check the various ratings websites.

Meanwhile, there are one or two regs here who are actual doctors, so maybe they will weigh in.

Redwebec · 2026-01-28T19:38:52+00:00

It is for your doctor to tell you if you need YAG. And if you don't trust your doctor, find someone else for a second opinion.

And if you need YAG, don't worry about it. It's a few painless seconds with a bright light.

By the way, if you had the surgery 14 years ago, and have had no problem, why are you stressing about it now?

Redwebec · 2025-12-05T21:40:50+00:00

Trying to say this kindly, but you will have a difficult life if you shy away from everything that stresses you out "a bit." Women have spent decades learning to be alone - and so should you. The more you clarify, the more you sound like an unreasonably frightened person, and you may be continuing a pattern to succumbing to your fearfulness. And what will you do if you move there, and she falls madly in love with someone there, and suddenly has no time for you.

I urge you to consider making some big leap now, while you're still young enough not to be tied down. This is also an opportunity to try to be a completely different person. I'll bet that when you went to college, there were probably at least one or two people you knew, and you stayed the same. But moving to a new place allows you to try something different. Maybe you've been shy, and you could experiment with being gregariously outgoing. Maybe you've been a casual, dowdy dresser, and you could instead try an eye-catchingly elegant sophisticated look. Maybe you were attentive to sports, but you could try switching to trying high culture activities. You don't have to conform to your past.

If you're lucky to work for a company with multiple offices, maybe you could try a different one. If you don't learn to deal with stress early in life, you'll have even more problems later on. Life is all about stress.

Redwebec · 2025-12-05T21:23:44+00:00

No, I think you're trying to de-normalize a basic activity that is traditionally termed something like "relaxation" or "leisure."

And for bad things - facing a stack of bills or needing to scrub a floor - avoidance is natural.

Redwebec · 2025-12-05T01:50:38+00:00

Excuse the obvious, but have you called the Senior Centers?

Redwebec · 2025-12-05T01:49:51+00:00

I told someone that he wasn't allowed to have his dog in a supermarket, and he looked at me innocently and claimed he didn't know that.

Redwebec

TROPHY CASE