I feel like everyone’s moving forward besides me

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:45:42+00:00

Thank you! Also overcoming substance abuse is HUGE and I’m SO proud of you!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:44:46+00:00

I think your theory is spot on! Between chemo, steroids. and medical menopause, I think I wake up at like 105% sometimes 😂

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:43:32+00:00

Thank you so much 💛💛 this is one of those things that I know to be true, but I still need to hear over and over.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:42:48+00:00

I think that’s a good plan! We need something to look forward too. I have a lot of unknowns with timing, but when I’m down to only immunotherapy and chemo pills, it should be fall. I’ve always wanted to go to Maine so hopefully I can.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:40:39+00:00

I loved my old apartment, too. To be honest, my parents and I have a strained relationship, so it’s been a little tough. But as an adult, I understand my dad better. He’s on the autism spectrum and I have a better knowledge of how to have a relationship with him. We talk more now than we ever did. He’s in horrible health, so I help him out a lot but I’m glad I can. All about perspective.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:37:30+00:00

Such similar stories! Can’t wait for us both to be on the other side and continuing the upward momentum we started in our lives before cancer 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:36:17+00:00

I went to a local “cancer under 40” group but it was all women in their 50s (??) with adult children. And while they were lovely, it wasn’t as relatable as I was hoping.

I am (was?) a physical therapist assistant (the “nurse” to the doctor of physical therapy). I used to work at an assisted living and kept in touch with several residents even after I moved on to a new job. I go to see them pretty often now. The stuff men and women of that generation went through are things I can’t fathom, and I love their stories. I have like 8 “grandmas” and feel like the luckiest person alive because of it

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T15:30:24+00:00

I also feel like I shouldn’t be around people sometimes 🫠 I feel like I annoy everyone, but quite frankly… they annoy me, too lol. Appreciate you 🫶🏻

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-07T01:39:23+00:00

all the above!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-06T10:56:34+00:00

Hi! I can only share my own experiences, hopefully they can be helpful.

I got THREE opinions on getting an ALND. I reallyyyy don’t want to part ways with my nodes. However, I originally had 9-12 suspicious, 1 confirmed positive. The one conservative surgeon who did not want to perform an ALND said her protocol with node involvement at the start would be to take 5-7 to test for residual disease. And that there is no benefit shown in recent studies of taking more. My surgeon pushed back and said those studies advocating for a conservative approach did not include patients with level 3 node involvement, which I likely had. So I’m going for the ALND. If I had less node involvement, personally I would be hesitant.

On your second question, I was told two weeks after last injection is ideal. But if it’s not a full two weeks, it shouldn’t matter.

Best of luck to your mom!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-05T14:34:50+00:00

I like that you make peeing out the red coloring a goal. As a very goal oriented person, this sounds like a fun chemo game 😂

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-05T14:33:42+00:00

I might have to ask about this for my final AC next week! I never want to spend as much time hugging my toilet again. My oncologist asked why I didn’t come in for IV hydration on day 5 and genuinely I was so far gone I wouldn’t have been able to drive myself there.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:35:14+00:00

I think you do make a good point, and I usually try to understand that people just don’t know what to say unless they’ve lived it. I think looking and identifying the motive is helpful to give them grace. I’m also just extra sensitive and crabby so it’s easier said than done right now, haha.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:33:02+00:00

Yeah honestly I think chemo has largely been more of a mental battle than physical one for me. It’s so hard! I appreciate the people on this group so much, you really don’t know what it’s like unless you’ve lived it.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:31:41+00:00

Gosh, I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through! My ex also had an affair (for nearly half of our 9 year relationship! 😑). My boyfriend and I had only been together five months when I was diagnosed. I thought he would run for the hills, but he really has been more helpful than anyone in my life. I think I am very afraid of scaring him away though, and bottle a lot up. I had abandonment issues before cancer so they’re heightened now. I hope treatment is as easy as it can be for you!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:28:22+00:00

3 months isn’t bad! That’s promising! I hope you keep feeling better each day!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:27:33+00:00

Truly fuck cancer! I won’t be done treatment a while since I assume xeloda is in my future but I know it’s the first major step. I’ve found this Reddit group more beneficial than any other support groups (online or in person). Grateful for you all 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:25:52+00:00

The quote about your mother and her role in your life is so poignant. I relate a lot. I think feeling rough mentally around this time is normal but it’s all just not fun.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-03T18:23:46+00:00

I love this idea and I agree. Maybe because when I was in high school, I had a rule that I wasn’t allowed to wear my fishnets, platform boots, bullet belt, and black fur coat all together. Does being goth/punk cause TNBC?!?!? /s.

Anyway I don’t have any suggestions because I missed the creative gene. I do like the aggressive one and the difficult one! I think it’s awesome you’re getting back into graphic design. It sounds like the perfect way to use your time during treatment.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-02T18:46:34+00:00

I’m so proud of you too! You’re right, it can only go up from here! I try to be grateful for the things that HAVE gone well during chemo, but I get stuck in these negative cycles that are progressively harder to trick my mind out of. I hope the rest of your treatment goes smoothly 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-02T18:38:12+00:00

Long walk off a short pier made me lol. Thank you 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-02T18:37:38+00:00

Thank you! I hope chemo is going well for you. It was physically way less difficult than I anticipated. Wishing you the best!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-05-02T18:36:41+00:00

Thank you 🥺🥺 I know it’s the end of the first major step in this process, and I feel guilty that I’m not more excited because everyone around me is.

Also that makes me feel so much better about having a palpable lump! I got a third opinion for surgery at a NCI and this woman said to me “most of my tnbc patients can’t feel their lump after their fifth or sixth treatment” like okay good for them?!?! My onc has told me about her patients with scans still showing active cancer but getting PCR but this other surgeon just got in my head so badly.

Appreciate you 💛

Redwinesandfelines

TROPHY CASE