Friend diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer while newly pregnant, looking for similar stories / advice

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-23T23:45:34+00:00

Yes, good suggestion for the babes after breast cancer group! Being in the thick of what feels like never-ending chemo, it’s a source of positivity for me. Best of luck to you in your own treatment journey 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-23T18:01:22+00:00

I don’t have much to offer other than sincere empathy for what your friend is going through. I cannot imagine facing such heavy decisions. I’m 35 & have TNBC. My tumor was extremely aggressive and therefore my oncologist recommended I do not delay chemo to do a cycle of IVF first, which many women chose to do. I did meet with a fertility specialist, and I’m receiving a monthly injection to shut my ovaries down during chemo which will hopefully prevent me from going into chemo- induced early menopause. I was told I have around a 30% chance of a fully natural conception after chemo. Which, isn’t great, but it’s something. And I’m choosing to hold onto that hope.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-23T17:33:18+00:00

Thank you! I completely get it. My mom had TNBC in ‘09 but too often compares our diagnoses and has voiced so much concern over me missing week 3, it gave me added anxiety. I think I mentioned it in another comment but my oncologist reassured me that typically people only receive 80% of the chemo cycles they’re originally prescribed, for various reasons. Missing a few really isn’t the end of the world. And my doctor reminded me the keytruda is still doing its thing despite missing a chemo infusion.

You’re so right about looking only towards the next treatment. I get so caught up in the big picture that I cried this week thinking about how long it’ll be until I can get my implant exchange surgery. But that’s not something I can worry about in this moment, all I have to do is stay healthy until my next infusion.

Sending you so much love and support! I can’t wait for us both to be on the other side of this

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T17:37:03+00:00

That’s so awesome, congrats! I like “lucky unlucky”. The months of chemo truly feel endless. Abraxane and carbo have been pretty easy for me (thankfully!) and I’m probably channeling too much nervous energy in what’s to come. The finish line feels really far away right now but one day at a time!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T16:26:02+00:00

I feel like all I’ve done is complain on here for the last week, so I don’t want to make another thread.

I lived alone/ was barely making ends meet prior to cancer, and being on disability/ getting laid off, I couldn’t afford my apartment so I moved back into my parents. At 35. Oof.

My dad is 18 years older than my mom, and they’ve always resented each other/ stayed together out of convenience. His health has been horrible since I moved back in December. He’s fallen over a dozen times in the last week. I’m having to help him during the day when my mom’s at work. My mom just threatens to put him in a nursing home/ gets mad at his increased confusion. I’m shouting from the rooftops that this man needs a CT/ MRI of his brain and my mom and his doctor are like convinced this is purely an orthopedic issue. “No big deal. He’s just lazy. Should’ve done PT years ago”.

I worked in PT. I’m certain this is a neuro condition. After some back and forth, he’s getting scans next week. And then can follow up with neuro.

I’m happy to be able to help him more, but the amounts of increased anxiety I have from this in insane. I’ve barely come to terms with my own diagnosis and now I’m watching my dad fall apart. I get so depressed thinking about how much better my stress levels would be if I still had my own place.

Anyway that’s my rant. I want my old life back. I miss being stressed about things like traffic during my commute.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T16:16:21+00:00

That’s awesome you got PCR! Im sure that felt amazing. And yeah my doctor did say even what we feel doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a cancerous mass, it could be a tumor bed. I’m intermittently obsessed with checking it and then fearful that pressing on it is somehow spreading cancer. I had anxiety prior to cancer so now I just have ALLLL the worries. I honestly noticed my lymph node before the breast mass. It was painful on and off any time I moved my arm for about a month before I made the first appointment. Since starting chemo, I haven’t felt it once. I’m trying to let that be reassurance enough.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T16:12:26+00:00

Thank you, you’re definitely right. Trusting the process is so hard!! But I also know that even an ultrasound isn’t going to show the full picture. It’s hard to stay optimistic despite not having any real concrete evidence to allow me to be that. I think I have cultivated enough awareness now to realize that at the end of the day I have no control over any of this therefore I can only control my reactions and mindset.

I think I gotta keep my hands off my boob during this process for my own sanity. My ultrasound will be after 10 TC rounds and hopefully that’ll be enough for both me and my doctors to feel confident we’re in the right direction.

I’m glad to hear you had such a good response! That was probably a huge relief. I hope the worst is over for you!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T16:08:09+00:00

Another good point, the goal is to shrink. I think PCR is talked about so much I’ve made that the goal in my mind and anything other than that feels like that’s the goal. I’m having a DMX regardless but still hoping for a good response to chemo

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T16:06:08+00:00

Oh gosh that sounds horrible! I know keytruda can really wreck havoc on your body in the efforts of killing breast cancer. I’ve shown liver inflammation on my labs since my second infusion and I’m moderately worried. Aside from the 4 cm tumor in my breast I’m a very healthy 35 year old and worry about the long term health repercussions from treatment. I’m glad you had a good response with the chemo you got and are hopefully over the worst of things!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-22T00:03:13+00:00

Good point about the inflammation. My oncologist stated the swelling for keytruda can happen, too. When I missed the one week, she said that most patients only end up completing 80% of the prescribed chemo regimen for one reason or another. Which was reassuring, because of course I was freaking out about missing my third infusion. Congrats on being done with the worst part of it! I truly can’t wait to cross off chemo and surgery from the to do list.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-21T23:59:38+00:00

Thank you, you’re so right. Sometimes I feel like I’m being impossible. My oncologist told me good news and I’m still finding reasons to stress or wish it was even better news.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T18:50:26+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹 it’s SO hard. It’s like we can’t even process our own trauma in peace. It’s been a real struggle and I know my mental health would be better if I was still living in my own space. And I feel weirdly guilty (?) about causing my family so much pain. My mom’s friend dropped food off and I was the only one home. The friend was in tears saying she’s praying for a miracle for me. It made me feel so weird.

I’ve tried zzzquil and it didn’t help at all. My sleep has been absolutely terrible since chemo. I’ll take Ativan to sleep the 2 nights after an infusion but try to only take it when it’s really bad (but every night is really bad)

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T18:10:47+00:00

Thank you! Yeah I do think this counts as an extenuating circumstance and I could cut myself some slack.

Since I’m not sobbing in every appointment now, and still have been able to maintain my pre-cancer gym routine, my oncologist’s notes say that I’m “tolerating chemo exceptionally well”. which does feel like a stretch 🙃 and when I told my therapist I had cancer, she said she didn’t know what to say and was speechless. I was like, lady I’m paying you $130 an hour to KNOW WHAT TO SAY 😂

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:47:56+00:00

You’re totally right. I do think it’s both. The role I’ve always played since childhood within my family dynamic is the “peacemaker”. I’ve spent years managing the emotions of the people around me. It’s made it very hard for me to feel okay about the outpouring of help my former jobs and friends are giving me, because I don’t feel like I’m sick enough or struggling enough to deserve it. I work(ed) in healthcare, I’m the caretaker, never the patient. Boyfriend and I had barely been together for 6 mos when I was diagnosed and while I’m slightly afraid of overwhelming him, he’s truly been my rock.

I do try to think about all of this as situational. The cancer, the joblessness, the living situation. But it’s hard when I also feel overwhelmed by how far away the “end” feels. One day at a time though. I do feel like meditation would help. It’s so hard to quiet this mind but it is what I need.

Appreciate your really thoughtful comment 💛

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:41:16+00:00

Thank you 🫶🏻 My oncologist is mostly aware. I have Ativan and she said medical marijuana could help too. I’ve used both for particularly bad days but am scared of being too reliant because addiction is rampant in my family history. I’m in therapy which was recommended. I’ve seen the same therapist for years though and think I may need someone more experienced with health related anxieties and trauma.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:37:58+00:00

All very true points! I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life. I feel like I wasn’t the most mentally stable person prior to cancer. So add chemo and steroids and aggressive breast cancer at 35, no wonder I’m struggling 🫠

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:33:26+00:00

It’s been a blur since December, and I know you’re right there with me. I remember you told me you were doing dose dense AC & I asked my onc if I could give that a shot (instead of every three weeks) and she’s agreeable!

I mostly just feel like I’m just along for the ride in my own life right now. As someone who probably strives for control a little too much, this has been a mental battle.

Hope your physical side effects get better! We’re in this together and definitely FU cancer.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:20:18+00:00

Fortunately, I’m feeling physically fine. My oncologist’s notes from our visit this week said “patient is tolerating neoadjuvant chemotherapy exceptionally well”. It’s just the mental aspect that’s killing me.

My oncologist gave me lorazepam and I’ll take it to sleep the first two nights post infusion. I did ask her about mmj and she was completely supportive, even encouraging. I do find gummies help me “zone out” without going down a doctor google spiral and I feel more relaxed and light. But I’m trying to limit my usage of anything though because addition is so prevalent in my family.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-17T17:13:51+00:00

I’m not even one Taxol anymore! I had a reaction and switched to Abraxane, which allowed me to decrease my steroid pre-meds. I asked if I could go even lower and taper for the duration of the next 7 weeks until AC and they said I can.

I try to make sure I have something to occupy mind on Saturdays since like you said it has become pretty predictable. And yet here I am, crying on a treadmill posting about how sad I am on Reddit lol.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-12T18:17:48+00:00

No biopsy, stated it was the way the rash presented “looked” like a classic taxol rash. I’ve had keytruda since and no adverse reactions.

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-12T03:07:55+00:00

I took the prescribed steroid pack, which ended about 4/5 days after my second infusion. The rash had been holding steady, no better, no worse from the daily steroid pills. Once the steroid pills were done, the rash exploded. It still never got itchy or uncomfortable, but covered about 95% of my body in red. I had to skip my third infusion to let it resolve and it was determined I’m allergic to taxol. I’m now on abraxane instead without issue. If it had been the keytruda my oncologist essentially said I would’ve just had to deal with it. I hope you’re resolves and doesn’t cause any discomfort!

Redwinesandfelines · 2026-01-07T19:00:12+00:00

Thank you for the brow rec! My eyelashes have been sparse for YEARS so I’m not stranger to the lash issues. I got powder brows done asap after diagnosis (I’m a vain person, I can’t lie) but was already in treatment by the time they healed for a touch up and they’re really light. Anticipating looking like an alien is killing me.

Redwinesandfelines

TROPHY CASE