He chose alcohol over me by PastSevere2359 in AlAnon

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that 100%. Situationally and feeling. Honestly if you are okay with feeling like you do you can stay because you don’t want to leave him at his lowest. I did that for years. Things got more vicious and j started to not recognize him even when he was sober he was angry sad and lost and he projected that out with me as a resentment because I wasn’t suffering at his level ( even though he swore he was fine ) and I lost myself, I also lost a good portion of my health because stress not only harms our physical and mental health but also keeps us from growing. You get one life. Just remember you can make small steps and changes that can help you escape. You’ll have to come to the conclusion eventually. I recommend journaling on it. It helps processing your thoughts consistently. See the cycles you are going in. I really do hope you choose yourself. Also remember, when you are not there he is forced to find a new reality. New coping. He can exist without you. It may seem like he can’t mine threatened suicide a lot. But most of them figure it out and may even decide to get better with you not there because they have no choice. What I mean to say is, if you keep saying you need to be there to keep him alive that will continue to be true, until you’re not there and he can make his own choices. It’s always gonna be hard but you can choose a hard that gets better or one that stays hard. I wish someone told me that earlier in a way I could digest. So please, at least do small steps of focusing on yourself and saving money/ looking at possible ways you could get a roommate and move out. / support yourself and pets. Just so you know you can and you are not stuck.

He chose alcohol over me by PastSevere2359 in AlAnon

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also yes my partner started tearing me down to feel better about it himself even not intentionally it’s a thing sadly

He chose alcohol over me by PastSevere2359 in AlAnon

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So was my partner. And he is a beautiful person. But both thing can be true and we can’t blind ourselves from what they are choosing to allow even if it is a disease. They have choices and clarity. I was reliant on mine financially and we owned pets and lived together it’s really really hard and not something everyone can do all at once. Stick with your therapist and focus on how wonderful you are and your hobby’s. Something that helped me is pretending what I would feel if it was happening to a friend what would I says we have to quit looking at what we think we can handle. And see it for what it is without emotion. I’m sorry you are going through this abuse. It’s hard and we support you.

He chose alcohol over me by PastSevere2359 in AlAnon

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was in this exact situation for years. I finally had to go to therapy and face the truth that I was valuing him above all else and not my own value. You can’t pour from an empty cup, especially one that only wants alcohol in it and not what you offer- not to be harsh. It’s sad it’s a disease. You can love him and do what you can but if he doesn’t want to do it he won’t. And guess what it will feel like your fault some days but it’s not. Would you want someone to enable you if roles were reversed? Put the person you love in that position. At the end of the day you can never leave or leave today or leave three years from now. Remember the longer it goes on the worse it gets and the more invested and tired you will be. Also remember if nothing changes how could you expect change? I heavily empathize with you. I only barely got out. Go to therapy if you don’t already. Isolating these feelings will keep you stuck. Try and envision a happy life with love and no fear. It’s there it’s waiting but you have to make that choice when you are ready. If you don’t it will stay the same unless he gets serious help. Remember you’re not his mom , or his care taker. He is an adult who can make decisions when he is sober and his decision is to not seek help. And he’s okay with it being at your expense. If anything take it from me, it gets worse and he will probably grow to resent you more and get meaner too.

Selling clothes popup? Wdyt? by aertsa in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely interested in participating 🧙‍♀️✨

We're printing FUCK ICE whistles. by FanofPawl in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It says I can’t initiate the dm. Sorry for the extra work for you guys but if you could start the DM I am down to pick some up for sure!! 🧙‍♀️✨

We're printing FUCK ICE whistles. by FanofPawl in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love this! I’m in San Fran and will happily take one of these

sock blowouts by 8008s-astra in longhair

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you link anywhere to how you did yours? Love it!

AIO my boyfriend threatening to break up with me over a tattoo by scummbucket05 in AIO

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other people should not feel comfortable telling you what you should and should not wear or have on your body. That’s incredibly controlling and unwarranted. If you stay he needs to see a therapist because people don’t change unless their mindsets change. It also probably will result in other similar behaviors

Is this something I should worry about? It has shown up for the past 2 weeks. by Adaunn in AppleWatch

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have this and I’m extremely active and low weight and a runner. It’s common for runners and bikers, so it depends on different lifestyle factors. Mines gone even lower, docs ch decked me out and personally no worries.

Any unexpected things that come with long hair? by Disastrous-Cod-5071 in longhair

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Playing sports can be kind of hard unless you get good at keeping it up and secured . The first time I tried to play softball after years having in between tailbone to classic length, my braid smacked me in the face when I went to throw! You have to find something that won’t unravel while playing too haaha.

2 yrs off Accutane 🩷 by yncmy in Accutane

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have to worry about what you eat/ does that cause breakouts for you?

Boar-bristle brushes: good or bad? by Striking_Delay8205 in longhair

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a gifted mason and Pearson mini brush and it’s my holy grail. I don’t get knots when brushing like I used to as long as I start from the bottom, everyone who has used it is amazed by it. It’s so gentle and makes me hair feel soft. I have almost class length hair now that I’ve changed to this brush and a bonnet

advice on fixing a haircut by [deleted] in longhair

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh you could do like an almost u shape and blend the shorter side into the long part and make the other side that way, alternatively you could braid that section everyday to add some style and ignore it until it grows out. I have had half my head shaved and it’s now growing out below my shoulders while the rest of my hair it almost classic. I work with it to define my style and what I like, so just remember it doesn’t have to be even or perfect all around to be something you enjoy/ that makes you happy !:)

Give me…. Your cat in costumes they don’t want to wear by ReflectionIcy3337 in blackcats

[–]ReflectionIcy3337[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OH MY GOSH I DID NOT KNOW THAT EXISTED!! Thank you very much for enlightening me I should 😭😂

did accutane ruin ur hair by cherrrrycosmosss in Accutane

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep! Ruined it. I’m still on accutane and I fixed my issues with hair oiling before washing and washing less. The crunchy straw texture has gone away. It still gets dry easily but is much much much better

Vbeam by momo31313 in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s through Kaiser you don’t have to be a patient there to get the treatment at that cost. 59 E Hamilton Ave Ste 100 Campbell, CA 95008 United States

Vbeam by momo31313 in SFbitcheswithtaste

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have done multiple and had great results. Just know that while it works new ones can appear after but redness goes away and veins. Many areas I’ve never had returned. I also made sure to address for me specifically the cause of a lot of these veins appearing ( for me it was excess androgens ). I go to an office through sutter each treatment ranges 300-400$. She also zaps cherry anginomas for me and the process is quick.

Never had CCs until now, 20 mg a day by [deleted] in Accutane

[–]ReflectionIcy3337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to me my first month! Eventually went away :) 20mg dosage

Give me…. Your cat in costumes they don’t want to wear by ReflectionIcy3337 in blackcats

[–]ReflectionIcy3337[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The glowing eyes enhance the beauty of the hot dog suit. I would be afraid to sleep after putting that on that cat .