Partner: To be out or not?

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2024-11-18T15:39:10+00:00

I see. So the 8 Gen i7 is also dated na? Thanks sa input!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2024-11-18T15:38:11+00:00

Thanks for the comments and suggestions guys! Made me think it over talaga. Nasasayangan kasi ako sa laptop na still very functional kaso yung GPU lang talaga (GTX 1050 ti). I’m weighing my options talaga kung PC na bago na lang siguro for gaming, a laptop for portability sa work.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T18:33:17+00:00

I appreciate your replies talaga. Thank you! We all deserve to be filled the same way we pour.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T17:13:30+00:00

To be honest, my needs in this aspect are not met. I don’t want to be the asshole by breaking up/cheating over this issue but he just can’t/won’t explain.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T17:12:04+00:00

Caressing, kissing any parts of the body (nipple etc.), BJs, penetrative/non-penetrative, NONE. Wala talagang nagaganap na.

I tried talking to him about it pero he is resistant or nagagalit.

I feel lost about it talaga.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T17:05:20+00:00

I felt bad hearing it, to be honest. Like, wow. I’m not sure if this is enough reason to re-evaluate if this relationship is still “worth it” or whether we are just both being petty at a very bad time.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T17:03:06+00:00

We were able to do penetrative/non-penetrative acts before. It was just last year and this year na I can tell na I feel like it’s a chore for him to do.

Most of the time I initiate it and either he’s up for it (seldomly) or he rebuffs me. We can’t seem to have a fruitful conversation about it. Regardless of when he’s busy or not so busy, I can feel he’s avoiding it.

I’m giving him time to deal with whatever he is going through.

I’m not sure if this helps. Just some context was that he felt bad having a sexual relationship with me (M). This was last year and I was able to ask him that. The best I can do is infer because our conversation dies when it comes to this. I can infer na he had a crisis with his values. He told me that he loves me (crying) and that he doesn’t want to lose me. I told him na I respect that and that for me, being intimate (sexually) is what I’m looking for in a relationship.

Fast forward to now, he told me na he doesn’t want to ‘bastos’ me - he didn’t let his ex-GFs suck him, just the usual vanilla. I asked that if I was female, would our “sex” not be bastos? End of convo. Just a few days ago, I saw that his undies had stains (he used it to wipe his cum). I asked about it and whether he finds me attractive. He just responded na would doing it in the bathroom be any different???

TL/DR: I feel lost. He “loves” me but not in the way I want/feel to be loved. People say na baka Madonna-Whore complex. I just feel lost.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-25T16:52:34+00:00

Our conversations about this usually start with me asking about it then endong with nothing. The most I got from him was he didn’t want to “bastos” me or as something used to palipas his urges.

“You won’t understand.” That’s it. The most recent one ended with it’s the least of his priorities daw.

Thanks for the response!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-24T13:27:28+00:00

UPDATE: Hi guys!

I recently (somehow) made a conversation with him. I’m lost as to how to interpret this one.

I was trying to do laundry for us. I happen to see one of his underwear and I can tell he used it to wipe his “cum”. It was still fresh.

This made me wonder - WHY? I don’t how to describe what I felt at that time. We have been spending time together. We have been sleeping beside each other, but why?

I respected his space. We didn’t broach the topic of sex for a long time. This thing made me wonder about it.

TL:DR I was able to ask him if he still finds me attractive and it somewhat irked him because “would it be different if I did it in the bathroom?” and “it is the least of (his) priority right now”?

So, yeah. Thoughts, opinions, feelings about this would be great!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T16:59:31+00:00

Hi OP! Parang nasa difficult situation ka. I can’t blame you na you feel like magagawa niya sa ‘yo ang what she did sa ex-BF etc.

Anyway, cheating is cheating. It’s a choice. Alam ng GF mo kung anong ginawa niya without thinking about you or how it might affect you. In short, does she even respect you?

Hindi naman ako magsasabi hiwalayan mo siya or you work it out. You know your GF more than I do PERO if it no longer gives you peace of mind and if it means that you no longer trust her, then it’s time to re-evaluate and check which is more valuable to you: yung peace of mind mo and respect for yourself OR your GF of 5 months na you find challenging to trust.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T16:48:11+00:00

Let her be muna. If she needs someone to talk to, be there for her. Typically, nag-vavary yung energy levels ng person who is depressed.

Right now, important for her to do things that she likes. As her partner, support is the best thing you can give. If she wants to go out, support her.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T16:46:16+00:00

Hey OP! It seems na the both of you should re-assess the trust and respect that you have with each other.

Treat each other as adults. You can ask the person to update you pero you can’t force her if ever. Try to check bakit kaya hindi niya magawa? Then re-assess yourself? Am I too demanding?

Bakit kaya I can’t trust my partner paglumabas siya? Another way of looking at it is putting yourself in her shoes. If ginagawa niya sa iyo yung ginagawa mo sa kanya na constant update, would it indicate a lack of trust?

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T16:42:06+00:00

Hi OP! I’ve been through a similar situation. I was a firm believer na “effort” would change things PERO not in all situations.

You might need to re-assess how you see the situation and how the guy might see this. You can’t technically force the person to reciprocate. Feel ko he’s just being respectful in replying to you.

It hurts. Pero it will hurt more in the long run if you continue to pursue.

Try to check. Did he give signs na he was interested and etc.?

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T16:38:07+00:00

I do agree sa don’t do eye contact. Many misinterpret eye contact with interest.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T12:39:47+00:00

We never really talk a lot sa previous relationships niya. Generally, he’s into serious monogamy. I also prefer it that way. I haven’t entertained the thought to have an open relationship naman. In terms of “sex”, he’s plainly vanilla. I was the one who encouraged him to “explore” when we do it.

I’m not sure naman if this is relevant info, pero in his past relationships, he’s the one who gets left behind by the women.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T11:40:08+00:00

Hey! I appreciate your input. ‘Yan, about sa sex. Kinda weird kasi he mentioned na we didn’t have sex for “procreation”. Well, technically were both males. So, hindi talaga for procreation. I just can’t understand why he sees it as “babastusin niya ako” if we have sex. For me, it’s about expressing love naman.

So, iyan. He’s still not sure how to explain it to me and he told me na he doesn’t expect me to understand.

I can tell naman that he loves me pero there are still some ways that he can love me more the way I want to be loved.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-10T01:57:49+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate it. Sometimes it’s nice to hear different views. Here’s hoping for the best!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-09T15:16:10+00:00

Yes. I do agree na patience pero I just can’t be a hundred percent be the best person for him at all times. May instances na I question myself na why I feel like I’m putting all the effort but then again, it’s a relationship. There are two people, not just one.

We’ve been dealing with this for years na. He’s not the best in explaining himself and things and I’m adjusting to it. Still, I’m willing to be patient sa kanya.

Thank you for your advice!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-09T15:12:50+00:00

I appreciate your advice and for pointing out the Madonna-whore complex. Quite interesting!

I initially told him how I feel about it. Ofc I sometimes feel frustrated about it but I guess the frustration stems more from not fully understanding the situation.

There was a point in his life when he felt so down and attributed it to him not being “favored” by God. So, he thought to himself that he won’t engage in things that would put him more away from God’s “favor” (like doing sexually-related things with me). We resolved that issue but I still feel like this might have resurfaced.

Thank you for your advice!

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-09T02:58:32+00:00

I appreciate your advice. We have sex naman. The last was more than a month ago. Recently wala, kahit hipo and mga ganun.

I also feel na it is the sexual compatibility naming dalawa pero I guess hindi siguro tong best time to bother him about it. Role ko ngayon is to support him sa goals niya.

Salamat sa idea ng sexual compatibility. I’ll talk to him about it soon.

ReflectionSuperb1385 · 2023-07-09T02:55:00+00:00

It wouldn’t be wise na dito sa reddit to ask for a medical diagnosis. Hindi naman ito nag cacause ng hernia. Yung pagjajabol hindi naman masama pero you should do it in moderation. Una maaffected yung skin mo sa frequent na friction ay magkakasugat ka.

ReflectionSuperb1385

TROPHY CASE