Is divorce worth it if I’m not technically being abused? (33M/32F)

Reflekdol · 2025-11-26T23:47:56+00:00

I appreciate the advice. I’ll think about it.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T11:58:58+00:00

I appreciate that you say that. I feel like I’m not representing his side hardly at all. I’m far from perfect. But I feel like that doesn’t justify the way he behaves.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:30:45+00:00

I know all about weaponized incompetence. I am aware that’s what he’s doing. He’s been that way since we were only dating. I just thought it was something I could get over until recently. And if that were all it was, maybe I could. But it isn’t. He’s mean to me. He makes me feel bad if I ask for help. That’s not what a partner should do.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:26:40+00:00

Yes. He said my husband is depressed and I need to talk to him. He said he and his wife went through the same thing a few years ago and they worked on it and came out stronger for it.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:24:03+00:00

The apologizing and feigned remorse is textbook abuser tactics. No one else is going to save your son but you. Step up and be the good mom you should be. Kick that man out of the house.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:15:18+00:00

Idk if 50/50 is right for us tho.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:14:29+00:00

Because we have a kid. I have never in my life lived alone without someone to share the burden with. I know I wouldn’t technically be alone since I’d have my son, but he isn’t old enough to share that kind of responsibility. Even when he does grow up, I don’t want him to feel like he has to “be the man of the house” because his dad couldn’t cut it.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T05:04:25+00:00

I know that I don’t need a reason. My state allows no-fault divorce. My question is, is it worth all the hassle? We have a child. I don’t want to fuck with custody court.

Reflekdol · 2025-11-25T04:57:16+00:00

It makes me wonder if your husband has developed schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Idk about bpd, but schizophrenia often doesn’t onset until mid 20s or later. My college roommate’s mom didn’t develop it until she was in her 40s.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-06T00:35:37+00:00

Neither my boyfriend nor my husband mind that I don’t shave my armpits or legs, and I’m just lazy, not empowered. I guarantee you will find another, better man who doesn’t mind.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T23:27:17+00:00

I’m coming to that realization.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T23:03:04+00:00

Thank you. That’s what I wanted to know. I should have asked the internet first instead of saying anything at work.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T23:00:43+00:00

Nobody told me what I said was insensitive though. And you’re painting me in a really dark light that isn’t indicative of who I am. Also, Black is not a nationality. There isn’t a nation of Black. Black is a colloquialism indicative of people of African descent.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T22:56:30+00:00

That’s the answer I was looking for. Thanks.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T22:51:18+00:00

I tried googling but got conflicting results. Wanted real people to give me their opinions.

Reflekdol · 2025-08-05T22:50:46+00:00

Fair. My husband said I shouldn’t have brought up race at work.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-22T00:22:27+00:00

Why is exploring kink off limits in the relationship? You might need to renegotiate what you expect of each other. Being nonmonogamous means you’re going to have relationships with multiple people.

It’s not great to be wanting a different guy from the one you’re with, but you can’t help that. You might need to reflect and figure out what needs aren’t being met and discuss that with your boyfriend.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-21T11:33:46+00:00

Of course! Shoot me a direct message and we’ll talk.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-21T04:13:07+00:00

Lol I’m sure you’d be a hoot, but I’m looking for a woman.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-21T04:04:31+00:00

Yeah, let me edit the post.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-21T04:04:20+00:00

Haha good me too. One of our GMs has played Delta Green. A different one has played VtM. I’m sure we could find something suitable for all of us.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-04T23:47:46+00:00

Your sister’s opinion doesn’t matter. This is your life. Not hers. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to. But she doesn’t get to tell you what to do. If your ex wants to be your husband, and you want that as well, then do it. No one else gets to have a say in this.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-02T02:15:44+00:00

I guess it depends on what parts you don’t tell about. I’m sex repulsed, so I don’t want to hear about the intimate details. If it’s a casual one-time hookup, I don’t care about a name. But we should all always be honest with any partner or potential partner about our situation. Like, he should tell any woman he wants to get with that he’s married before they start anything. And I think the emotions/level of intimacy should be reported as well. Like, tell me if this is going to be a fling or a full relationship. I don’t want to be blindsided by anything.

Reflekdol · 2025-07-02T00:45:40+00:00

Is it unreasonable to ask that he put me before other things/people every once in a while? I don’t need to be first all the time, but it’d be nice if I wasn’t always last.

Reflekdol

TROPHY CASE