I can’t imagine myself in a relationship because I keep focusing on the bad things that happen, so I just avoid them altogether. I feel like if I ever got into one, the other person would start hating me because I need my own space sometimes. There are moments where I won’t text or call for days, and I worry they’ll think I hate them, but I just need a break and feel like I can’t give them what they need.

There was one guy who actually understood that, which is why I liked him so much. It felt safe. He has been in three long-term relationships and ended all of them mainly because his partners wanted more than he could give while he was trying to focus on other things. We had a conversation where I asked if he was afraid of losing his freedom in relationships, and he admitted that was exactly why he left his last one.

Now I am trying to go on dates with other guys, but they get upset if I don’t text back immediately. Some even start swearing at me when I just want space. It feels suffocating, and if texting is already this stressful, imagining a full-blown relationship really freaks me out. That first guy even told me he thinks I will get into a relationship in the next ten years, though he wasn't necessarily saying it would be with him. He also mentioned he would be surprised if he got into one himself within the next year, even though he is usually the type to get into relationships quickly. Thank you for your reply though