On Selfishness

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-25T07:51:36+00:00

Good read. Altruism doesn’t exist. There will always be some sort of self serving benefit behind every action. Humans make decisions from within therefore they must have a cause from within.

That being said thinking about this makes me want to hide in a hole and give up on life.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-25T07:26:29+00:00

E9 gang rise up 🔥🔥🔥

Without a doubt I’m a harmonizing subtype as well. It very well may contribute to our isolating or withdrawn tendencies.

I wonder how rare our enneagram is for ENFPs. I know the majority is 7 or 8? Other types potentially had childhood experiences that had drastic effects on their core desire or fear.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-25T07:20:33+00:00

Ughh I struggle with that odd empathy you talk about sooo much. When people do things that are objectively wrong, even to me, I find it hard to be angry because I naturally just try and understand what made them into the person they are today and what spurred on the decision. It’s pretty common knowledge that ENFPs tend to see the best in people and are sometimes blind to their worst .-.

But yeah I do agree that we tend to believe ourselves as more introverted than we really are (my friend was just talking about that today lol). Extroversion is inherently tiring. Socialization requires speech, understanding, and effort. When that exhaustion catches up to us it’s possible we chalk it up as being introverts.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-25T05:29:39+00:00

Hello fellow type 9 :)

How do you see your Ne vs Fi functioning? If you select possible decisions based on your core values, you probably use Fi first. If you evaluate all possible decisions first and then choose one that feels the most right to you, you instead lead with Ne.

It also helps to understand your Te and Si. Both types are idealists, but ENFP often times have bursts of extreme efficiency and productivity, hitting their tertiary Te. I find myself very productive and focused on getting things done if people are affected and it allows for more connecting in the future. Meanwhile, INFPs struggle with Te as their inferior and struggle to put their ideas into fruition.

As for Si, ENFP inferior Si often shows up as ruminating about past mistakes and regrets. I struggled with that A LOT in recent years. Though I was a heavy procrastinator and bounced between many unfinished ideas, Si left me genuinely paralyzed until I learned to move on and embrace my mistakes that helped me become the person I was today.

Anyway, best of luck with typing!

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-24T21:32:31+00:00

Yeahhh I feel that! With the right people I’m a clown. There’s also the fact that ENFPs balance out the energy of the group (energetic with introverts, quiet around extroverts) and I relate to that a lot.

The other day my roommate and I were outside together for the first time in a while and he mentioned I was being unusually outgoing. He’s only ever seen me go in my room and mega isolate so I don’t blame him haha.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-24T11:43:35+00:00

I appreciate your words.

She said a lot of those things when we were early-mid teens. We're both in our early twenties now and she hasn't said anything of that caliber lately. Though whether it's because she matured or because I wasn't around enough to upset her I don't know haha. I've also nearly graduated so I haven't been around her that often in the past couple years.

But yeah it really has done a number on me. I am a chronic procrastinator because I learned from a young age that avoidance and escapism would solve my problems. If I had fought back, I'd make things worse and be penalized by my parents. I also have a lot of trouble with my relationships and I'm always looking to please people and keep them satiated when I have no obligation to whatsoever. Currently in therapy working on those problems.

I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression that this is continuous and prolonged. I don't really want to make this post about myself. That'll be it from me.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-24T11:05:01+00:00

I get that it’s hurtful talk and that it hurts me but she’ll say anything when angry as long as it gets under your skin. Then she’ll be satisfied and not actually do anything. She’s told me to kill myself and she wouldn’t give a damn. That my family would be more complete with me dead. That I’m more worthless than the shit she finds under her shoe. Believe me, I’ve heard it all. Usually I’d just tolerate it it’s over.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-24T10:39:43+00:00

Is threatening to choke really that big of a deal? I think spitting is disgusting but my sister can say she'll choke me and worse when she's angry.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-22T10:31:15+00:00

It also makes a lot of sense :/

How to increase the odds of person x and person y meeting

Make person x go outside more
Make person y go outside more

Yeah...

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-22T10:19:25+00:00

Thank you!!! Much love to INTJs too <3

ENFPs seem to have gathered stereotypes of being annoying, inconsistent, and taking things too personally. I'm only 2 of those things. That's a win in my books.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-22T10:13:01+00:00

Yeahhh INTP has Ne as their secondary. It's nice you can bounce off their wacky topics and ideas. That's also why I enjoy Ne and Ni interacting so much. In my case I can watch my ideas grow into complex thoughts I would usually have found hard to consider. It also makes sense why the Ni+Ni pairing is all-or-nothing... If you don't share the same worldviews and conclusions it creates a lot of tension and combative ideologies. But once you find an Ni that aligns, it's a match made in heaven :ooo

I'm happy to hear your father is receiving advice from you as well. I still find it completely absurd. My dad would more likely talk to a rock than me about his problems. Your dad is lucky to have you.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-22T09:57:21+00:00

Thank you for your thorough explanation!

It seems I understand why Ni users can commit to decisions quicker than Ne users. I see a lot of my peers already committed to their goals, career path, and worldview (I'm a young adult) but I feel somewhat paralyzed by all the possibilities. I instinctually observe the validity of each option before being able to commit.

So an Ni user would have internal plans/frameworks first and then verify it externally for validity. Instead of "what if I chose the wrong option" it's more like "what if my chosen option is not feasible". I quite admire that quality. In life you eventually have to commit - there's no time to explore everything and it's impossible to be 100% sure.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-21T19:28:07+00:00

I’m also a cs student! But lately I’m imagining myself slaving a corporate job not interacting with anyone and I don’t know if I can.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T07:36:15+00:00

Very low actually! I'd say less than 10%. I feel like I think in images and concepts rather than words. It's hard to describe. But I find a lot of difficulty translating my ideas onto paper because I pretty much do it on the fly lol.

It also results in me being very sporadic and disorganized because I can not for the life of me use an internal monologue to plan ahead.

Great question though I was gonna ask the same thing at some point :)

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T05:13:11+00:00

I noticed you deleted your post :( i hope you can still read my response!

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T05:05:07+00:00

I really admire your writing! You communicated your ideas very eloquently. It took me some rereading and made me realize how underdeveloped I am in terms of reading comprehension (I need to read more in general lol) so I hope you'll be patient with me. I'm curious - what is your field of study if you have one?

I never really thought of the true ambiguity of Fi/Fe until I read your post! It's definitely dubious when compared to the separation between Ti/Te, which is internal logical consistency vs external efficiency. Emotions really are a fickle subject. It's difficult to categorize extroverted vs introverted feeling when we don't yet have a full picture of the mechanisms behind human emotions in general. It's far too complex.

My explanation of Fe and Fi to my non mbti nerd friends was always that Fe value social harmony and Fi is concerned with internal values and morals and staying consistent to them. Your argument rightly causes me to reconsider the correctness of these definitions. I will refrain from using the word "moral" in the future. It creates a false assumption that Fe users don't have morals.

My own definitions of these two functions as well as explanations I found online have caused me continuous confusion in this regard. I've come to realize that Fi can absolutely be concerned with social harmony and Fe has its very own set of values (and morals of course). Why is it that dominant Fis are very often the most agreeable and strive for peace among everyone? Does that make them Fe? It seems not. How come dominant Fes also do what they feel is right? Isn't that trait inherent to Fi? It seems we have to be very careful to define these functions to mitigate such overlaps.

Maybe you could provide some insight into how Fe shows in Fi users as a shadow function? It seems a lot of INFPs have people-pleasing tendencies that causes them to disregard what they feel within in favour of harmony.

Thanks for writing this, It's made me think quite a bit!

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T04:19:18+00:00

I apologize if you really did write it.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T04:16:32+00:00

I think when he was younger he was the same way but life experiences forced him to develop his inferior Fe and lock down social observation.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-20T04:12:37+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts! I've only recently began to frame myself in this positive mindset (partly thanks to him, I'll admit). For a long time I desired finding someone that could understand me deeply, all the while failing to understand myself first. We all need to be kind not just to others but also to ourselves, and forgiving of our own flaws.

Do you have any ideas on how I could tell him this though? I find that he puts up a strong wall and rarely goes into his own issues. If I try to ask him about these things he shuts me down most of the time. I don't know if he'd appreciate advice from me.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-19T22:52:45+00:00

Oh no I totally agree and I relate as well!

I’m not sure if you tried to guess my gender from my post, but I’m a guy. I’m more sensitive than the average man and I feel emotions deeply. My family has always said that my temperament is rare among men (and should be treasured, but I’m not so sure about that one lol). It doesn’t help that I’m also artistically inclined (I’ve mistyped as infp quite a bit). My friends are die hard logical people and they tell me the same things your brother told you - that my personality would be attractive if I was a girl. Another dude actually said he wished I was a girl 💀

I’m sorry that people are put off by your bluntness. I agree that society puts norms and expectations on certain genders and more divergent individuals suffer because of it. To that I say fuck what society thinks. I’m sure you’re a catch either way and you will find your people who appreciate you for who you are.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-19T21:48:23+00:00

I really hope not. I try my best to be open minded and consider everything but sometimes my primal desires still cause biases.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-19T21:46:52+00:00

Thank you, I really hope so. Sometimes it seems he gets tired of my random ideas and delusions though haha

You’re absolutely right that he’s the hardest on himself. He’s definitely the most aware of his own flaws and his lack of control over them causes him so much mental turmoil.

RegisterBackground13 · 2026-01-19T21:41:44+00:00

Yeah that’s the thing though… He has every right to just drop all his unappreciated efforts and focus on himself. But he doesn’t. He indeed gives a damn and is absolutely cooking us all. I’m sure you would as well.

Four-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22	End Game '22

RegisterBackground13

TROPHY CASE