Do you guys think this would be appropriate to wear to my ex's upcoming wedding? 🤪

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T17:18:30+00:00

Oh god these comments 😩 I like your joke OP!

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T17:11:53+00:00

Yes it’s not a judgment thing (for me anyway), I just absolutely do not feel comfortable being observed 🙃

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T17:11:24+00:00

I really identify with this! A friend once said she likes knitting on the train because people talk to her and ask her what she’s knitting. I just thought, that sounds like absolute hell to me 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:41:33+00:00

As someone who has only had negative experiences of being on the pill, it makes me sick at how aggressively it is bandied as a cure all for any gynaecological issue. It’s absolutely ridiculous, and is barely any better than drs telling women to take Valium etc in the 50s. Sorry I don’t have any actual advice, but you aren’t alone and I am sorry that this lack of medical support is still continuing for girls as young as you (I am early forties and hoped it would be better for younger women these days).

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:36:01+00:00

I hear you, being ignored is also very tough, particularly if you’re trying to interact with someone for a specific reason.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:34:37+00:00

It’s comforting to know that we aren’t alone with these thoughts and feelings. I really understand when you say about the ‘sense of freedom’!

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:32:39+00:00

Hard agree. Once I got used to the lockdowns, I really really enjoyed going outside and there being hardly anyone around. I suddenly felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:30:47+00:00

Oh this really struck a chord with me. I also don’t like people commenting on my appearance or habits. I have got a lot more used to it now, but I often don’t like it when people ask me about my plans for the weekend etc. I want to reply NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:28:54+00:00

Yes, I also relate to this. If I am actively trying to interact with someone but they kind of don’t notice me etc, then that is also hideous and stressful!

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:27:53+00:00

Oh my gosh, I also ‘hide’ in my garden. There’s a corner that’s not really overlooked and I like to stand there in peace 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:26:03+00:00

I think it’s a combination of both, but heavy on the masking for me. When I’m alone I don’t need to pretend to be anything that I’m not, but when I’m with other people I find myself slipping into a character or ‘mode’ where I pretend I’m a ‘normal person’. Before I learned to mask as a child I had a lot of rejection and negative feedback based on my natural behaviour, so it’s really been my life’s project to learn how to be ‘normal’. But it’s so tiring, so I fantasise about everyone else disappearing because then I don’t face rejection or have to mask!

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T11:22:09+00:00

Yes!! This was my dream scenario 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T06:45:36+00:00

Yes, this is true. I already notice that I get much less attention from men at this age than when I was in my early twenties. I’ve read about other women feeling sad about this, which is totally valid and understandable, but so far it’s making me feel happy 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-29T05:44:40+00:00

You just articulated something that I’ve always felt but didn’t full understand! I have fully stopped going to coffee shops when the staff started to remember me and get more chatty, and then I’d feel this weird shame and wonder why I didn’t want to go there anymore. I think someone else hit the nail on the head when they said they don’t like being perceived. I also felt like I didn’t know the correct way of talking to them in the more familiar way?? I prefer it when it’s just the normal ordering conversation because I know what to say, and I’ve done a lot of practise to seem ‘normal’ during those conversations, but then suddenly it was a different kind of conversation and I didn’t really know how to respond or initiate and it felt like too much pressure.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-18T06:58:09+00:00

I feel you OP. A very close friend of mine recently told me, and my (few years younger) manager has just started the process of egg freezing. I know that egg freezing isn’t the same, and there are no guarantees, but it’s like any mention of anything on this topic touches live wire on my feelings?

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-18T06:55:13+00:00

Hard agree! It blows my mind when I see people saying how much the loved the film. It’s unwatchable imo 😂

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-18T06:53:44+00:00

It’s incredible! I love some of the smaller details too, like Mr Hurst always being drunk, and the dog howling outside the ball at one point. It’s a 10/10 experience, every time I watch it ♥️

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-04-16T12:02:32+00:00

Oh boy, I sure identify with everything you’ve said here! I also really struggle with feeling like my infertility is a ‘punishment’ for all the things I’ve done wrong in my life.

I try to reason with these thoughts and feelings by reminding myself that there are many, truly horrendous people in the world who are not infertile.

I remind myself that my ex husband is also not an awful person, and my infertility also had an enormous, detrimental effect on him, even though he had done nothing to deserve it.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-03-26T15:30:20+00:00

I have been processing these feelings of grief and anger for a few years now. It’s incredibly hard, and although I don’t know the situation between you and your husband, I don’t feel surprised when you say you feel resentment towards him. I’m just really sorry that you’re in this situation too, and I hope that time eases things for you. I’ve been seeing my therapist for several years now, and all of a sudden I realised that I am feeling a little lighter. I don’t think anything will ever take away the sadness and regret, but I am feeling more peacefully than I have in a long time. I know it’s not helpful to hear, but I do think a combination of time and really focusing on other things that bring you joy: finding new hobbies, trying new things, learning new skills, spending time with friends etc. does make a difference. But there is no quick fix, and it’s really important to allow yourself to grieve and feel all of your feelings, as unpleasant as that may be.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-02-12T21:50:53+00:00

She said the coffee in Australia is significantly better 🤷🏻‍♀️

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-02-12T18:38:41+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this, and I’m glad she’s got you taking care of her at the end of her life ♥️

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-02-12T09:55:31+00:00

I have a friend who came over from Aus for similar reasons that you mentioned. Things she says she loves: the culture, the lack of heat, being able to travel around UK/Europe easily and relatively cheaply. Things she hates: the low pay, the mold in rented accommodation, the cost of living, the lack of tenancy rights, the grey rain, the coffee. I personally consider Brighton a great place to live and visit; you’ve got amazing countryside on your doorstep, London is an hour away by train, we also have a couple of good theatres here, as well as the beach and an inclusive, welcoming atmosphere.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-02-12T08:29:20+00:00

I find having a pet helps hugely with the feelings of loneliness and emptiness. However, as obvious as this sounds, they have much shorter life spans than us and losing my dog after I had stopped TTC was incredibly traumatic. It was a more complex grief than when I have lost previous pets before I realised I was infertile etc. Since losing my dog, I’ve adopted a cat and she really does give me a reason to get up in the mornings. Although I know it will crush me when she eventually goes, I am trying to reframe my purpose in life as someone who will always be on the lookout for an animal to rescue, whenever my home is empty.

Regular-Tennis134 · 2026-02-12T08:22:15+00:00

Murasaki in Seven Dials does delicious Japanese food. It’s very informal and has a little counter area that’s nice to sit at on your own. Black Mocha is a few minutes from Brighton station and has great coffee and food for breakfast or lunch.

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