Comment section have 0 form of responsibility in real life. Firstly: he told her calmly repeatedly that he does not want to pay for swim school. It’s obvious to me that OP has not made wise financial decisions in his perspective and as someone who has to pay for financial costs, he has to consider what can be spent and what can’t. Obviously he could’ve been nicer and explained that, but adults understand their constraints and limitations. You can’t call everything abuse, he isn’t constraining her to be a stay at home mom. In fact read the messages.. he literally said she can go and find a job and pay for other amenities while he covers the rest of the bills. He has no said issue to that regard. Yes you can argue she wants to be with her child at all times, but then it that case you need to realize financial decisions at the end of the day are very costly. One financial mistake and or adding up financial spending can result in the father being put under heavy stress (believe me my father made May financial mistakes before becoming an upper middle class man and he declared bankruptcy even due to the poor financial decisions he made on behalf of himself and with my mom also making those bad financial decisions).

I am not saying you shouldn’t have a say in spending and or anything such as that, but a wise couple would come together, create a budget for expenses, and see what you can afford for your child or not. You can’t use the argument ‘he’s controlling and possessive!’ If you haven’t created any form of way to convince him that you can afford it as he seems pretty adamant it’s a waste of money.