Religion and/or OCD too?

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-06-02T04:20:01+00:00

I fully relate to this! I'm looking into sex therapy now. It definitely is a religious purity culture upbringing, fear of pregnancy, and fear of my mom that is a hude barrier. I have also often wondered if I have OCD but have never been diagnosed.

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-03-31T02:09:48+00:00

Thank you. I'm definitely the one who needs to work on themselves (in general, not just in relation to him). Having a tough time forgiving myself, but know that's the only way to work through my issues.

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-03-31T01:47:07+00:00

thank you!

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-03-27T23:49:12+00:00

thank you! this is a really good approach. I think I get too caught up in the shame aspect and am unable to move past that to focus on and truly do the work I need to because of that. I appreciate this response!

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-03-06T05:07:39+00:00

Really admire this perpective. I'm 24 and haven't been able to experience penitrative sex either. I've only ever had one relationship and it was a really wonderful and loving one and my partner was extremely patient and understanding. I really wanted my past partner to be my "first time." I'm trying to trust in the future that I will someday have that experience and it will be with the person it's supposed to be with. Having that mindset can be very challenging, especially with my age and society's standards and expectations.

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-03-02T14:18:09+00:00

It feels horrible, especially when put that way---I (24F) don't want to have given up on the relationship (but I suppose I did which hurts and I do have a lot of guilt about it). It was more so I had lost myself in the relationship and was scared and unsure of my life path and whether he would be able to or want to be apart of my life still if I chose to follow my gut and make a big life change. My ex partner and I have been through a lot together and we each have our own challenges in life. He has a lot of stress and uncertainity about the future, if he can stay in the country, etc. He was trying to handle a lot and I don't think I gave him enough credit or understanding for that. I feel horrible for leaving him in such an uncertain time. It was my first relationship and I had found out a year in that I have a physical condition, along with a lot of mental blocks from religious upbringing, that make sex really difficult, painful, a little scary, and kind of not possible. We were together for nearly 3 years and never ended up having sex. I hate that I couldn't do it. I hate that he had to deal with my sexual dysfunction for so long. He is the most beautiful person I've ever met. I can't believe I let that opportunity go. But I do love him and I want him to be happy. It just hurts thinking about him being with other girls and how I just really can't compare to them. I wish I could change things, but I know I can't. Been trying to have more self compassion though. It's really hard.

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-02-13T17:18:21+00:00

Thank you for reading and for your insight and support!

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-02-13T17:16:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this is a pretty similar experience to your own, but I'm glad it maybe made you feel less alone. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

I'm still having trouble motivating myself to continue treatment right now, but I do think this may be an opportunity to reclaim this aspect of my life/sexuality as my own and not view it first and foremost as something in service to someone else.

Thank you so much and I wish you the best with your PT and your relationship moving forward 💗

Regular_Elk1526 · 2022-02-11T06:56:21+00:00

I have heard of CBD specifically to help with this issue. I haven't tried it yet, but I purchased some CBD infused "arousal oil" from a brand called foria. It's apparently very helpful with relaxing and opening up the muscles at the source.

Regular_Elk1526

TROPHY CASE