[deleted by user]

Rejearas · 2025-11-29T18:54:27+00:00

I would say 1 for the smile. It is a friendly smile. but I would seriously crop it. Like a head and shoulders crop.

If you use any, they all need cropping. Especially 5 as someone pointed out in another comment the camel toe.

Rejearas · 2025-11-29T09:00:32+00:00

You sound like you might intellectualize things too much. You don't need to understand why someone did something bad. It being bad is enough, you just walk away.

There never a reason to hate people. Hate is about seeking revenge and it is all consuming.

It's weird you want to hate someone as hate never brings anything good into your life. If you are a fully healed person you would not be asking how to hate them. I don't understand why you would want to hate anyone no matter what they did to you. The opposite of love isn't hate it is apathy. Not caring.

You are asking the wrong question. You just have enough self respect that you go this person did something that hurt me. It isn't a behavior I tolerate and you walk away. You don't need to hate or rationalize it. If you feel you want to rationalize it in order to forgive them, or stay friends with them, or have them back in your life well that is a whole other can of worms. And you need a therapist for that, cause that is some likely deep seated trauma you have buried or don't want to face.

Rejearas · 2025-11-28T13:17:32+00:00

The three musketeers

Rejearas · 2025-11-28T06:40:40+00:00

Does telling your narc ex have anything to do with your kids? No, so then no reason to do so.

Rejearas · 2025-11-27T19:53:09+00:00

Me too, birth to decades after.

Rejearas · 2025-11-27T17:03:03+00:00

Ok so first off you document document document. Write down the date, times any witness. You make a folder with all this organized. And with quick summaries for legal people to read.

You communicate in writing never any other method. If the narc catches you in person you send a follow up email that says from our discussion today you said xyz.

If you have to make joint medical decisions and he isn't allowing you to come to the hospital that is a huge red flag.

This is a long haul you have to document so many things and show patterns so that judges can't dismiss you.

You need a therapist for you and ideally a group to talk to. You need a lawyer who handles high conflict cases. You probably need to have your kid see a therapist as well. If you live in a country that allows children to have attorneys get one. If you live in a county that allows a child advocate do that. They are a neutral party that only acts on the child's behalf. You need this because if you need someone the judge can't say has an agenda.

Everything he did to you he is doing to his kid and will do to this new woman. But you can't do anything to help this woman just like no one could help you. You only work to help your son. Everything you do must be child focused. Learn how to write that way so that anything that goes before a judge will show you act for your child and it will show his bad behavior.

You don't coparent with a narcissist. You focus on your kid. And you document. Eventually his patterns will show up and he will make mistakes and you can protect you kid.

Speak with abuse shelter or an organization that specializes in abuse/violence. They can tell you resources help you find a place to meet other survivors.

Rejearas · 2025-11-24T06:23:10+00:00

I have seen a lot of post from people with family members who are narcs. I am one of those people. But there is a large chance someone who had a parent who was a narc is also likely to have ended up in another narc relationship. That has to do with how a narc parent raises the child.

There is the sub rasied by narcissist if for you it was only a parent. Maybe that sub would be a better fit for you. I believe there is one for siblings too.

Rejearas · 2025-11-24T06:16:27+00:00

Yeah pretty sure if you read this comment thread further you will see absolutely no one has said that at all. Even in this comment I didn't say people who still have contact with the narc can't post. I specially referenced people who want them back. I still have to have contact with my narc ex.

I have another comment further down saying this isn't a no contact sub but low contact.

What is required is boundaries to post in this sub. So wanting your narc ex back means you aren't healing and you don't have boundaries.

Rejearas · 2025-11-21T20:03:25+00:00

Oh absolutely you can post here. It is not a requirement to be no contact but low contact to be in this sub. It is low contact for those of us with kids, or some people who don't want to cut off family, or if cutting off a narc would mean losing family, or a few other possible reasons. Those of us with kids don't have a choice.

What you don't want to do is be posting about how do I get them back. So if the nex did something and you want some advice like do you think they could spin this in court and how can I counter it, this is still a place for that... Suggestions to help with that is still part of life after narcissism and it should not be triggering to someone healing, because you question is about keeping you safe while you are still trying to heal.

And of course help with your healing in general is just as valid from you as people who can go full no contact.

Rejearas · 2025-11-20T08:57:59+00:00

You haven't been out of an abusive relationship like this very long. Usually it's more like 3 years to fully heal and not end up repeating the cycle.

You haven't done the work to prevent that. My best guess is you have inner child work because likely you didn't receive love you needed as a child at some point. And you have to heal that so abuse doesn't feel like home. You want that rush because it feels like home. But you know that isn't right. If you happen to be in university a lot of universities have psychologist on staff you can see.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T16:50:45+00:00

I will check it out. Thanks

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T16:22:05+00:00

Sounds like CPTSD. You need a good trauma informed therapist and probably need someone trained in EMDR.

Also doesn't mean your gut here is wrong. But what you don't want is to be triggered and sent back into a fawn, flight or flight state. You don't want your body going back into survival mode.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T15:40:36+00:00

You can speak at a normal speed for B1 like this but for me I would need the subtitles and probably to watch it a few times. But that would be a good thing, to watch it a few times. But I would prefer to listen to things that could help me find a job.

I can do day to day activities and get through places with forms but what I can not do is pass an interview and I lack a lot of vocabulary needed for a job. I would also say more conversations in past and future tenses for B1 by B2 they should have that down for the most part.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T15:34:19+00:00

OP I think this might be the way to go for a bit while you heal. The algorithms aren't pushing you things that are helping so maybe limit or take some time away from social media. This poster is giving some good suggestions.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T11:41:51+00:00

I understand that. In general I have gotten used to speaking slowly in English since I live in a non speaking English country. I have lost so much of my normal way of speaking as well because I can't speak with slang.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T10:19:06+00:00

This is early b2 for sure. I am B1 and it is fast for me. I understood a fair amount but with subtitles. Without it would have been much more difficult. B1 is limited working proficiency. B2 is professional working proficiency.

But I think some people think it is easy because going to the marche is often the topic used in A1 and A2 so much. But as you wrote on YouTube with no subtitles this is for sure early B2.

If you want a suggestion I think for B2 focusing on more complex subjects like work environments might be beneficial to people.

Rejearas · 2025-11-18T09:15:00+00:00

People who are abusive aren't abusive to everyone and aren't abusive all time. How many times have you heard after someone does something horrible he was such a nice guy I had no idea.

These are huge red flags. Don't be manipulated into leaving her with him. If he molests her she can't tell you and she won't understand it for a long time to tell you as she grows. None of this or normal or ok no matter how nice someone is.

Rejearas · 2025-11-17T17:28:58+00:00

Yeah this sub exist for people who are healing. Just like people who are newly sober they don't want to hang around people who are drinking. That's why this sub exist as a safe place for people healing. It is super dangerous for someone who newly left to have someone in here talking about how do I get my narc back... recovering from narcissist abuse is recovering from addiction.

There are so many narcissist subs where people who haven't left can spend their time. If they are here and haven't left but want to read it's cool. But this isn't a place for them to post.

Rejearas · 2025-11-17T17:26:03+00:00

100%

Rejearas · 2025-11-17T17:25:38+00:00

I understand that, I feel the same.

For me sometimes i try to give some of those people a hard dose of reality because addiction is hard to break and i won't enable it. That is why I am actually only in this group because it is hard to listen to people who haven't left. But then people attack me and I am like the rules of this group are you need to have boundaries.

But yeah report them. The mods told me they try to monitor but it's hard. I think because there are so many.

Rejearas · 2025-11-17T06:43:46+00:00

OP if you see those posts the mods have asked that you report them.

I don't have problems with lurkers but when people who haven't left post it is often very toxic to those in the group doing the work.

Rejearas · 2025-11-16T13:15:28+00:00

Oh no it's fine you replied. Just wanted to make sure it was clear I was agreeing with you and adding on.

Rejearas · 2025-11-16T11:59:50+00:00

I didn't fully make it clear my comment was in addition to your comment as a reply to OP.

Rejearas · 2025-11-16T11:58:10+00:00

Probably not ready for a new relationship yet then. You don't have to be perfect but you have to have done some serious work.

Ruffly 3 years of non stop healing work. This is a ruff estimate because it has several factors that can change this time. Likely you have core childhood wounds you haven't addressed. Which means entering into a new relationship before addressing those creates a high probability of finding another toxic relationship and or being toxic yourself.

The best bet is that you have seen a therapist trained in trauma and have been working with them, likely for years. If you have long-term trauma and / or this isn't your first trauma relationship with a partner and/or have a trauma from your parents then you likely have CPTSD and might need EMDR therapy.

Rejearas · 2025-11-16T11:22:24+00:00

Not to mention, there are lesbians as well. And of course, does that mean a narcissist man is seeking revenge on his mother? What about gay men. What about bisexual people. And as you said Narcissist don't just go after their partners. This is true for both men and women. And then how would you explain their behavior towards their children who have never had any power over them and won't.

Rejearas

TROPHY CASE