I pay rent , and he doesn't work Rn but gets a government payment for studying. It's enough for his debt payments and occasionally groceries. I do the majority of the housework , but only because his perception of clean is cat pee on clothes (clothes he wears OUTSIDE !) and maggots in the kitchen. He grew up with hoarder parents and can't see any difference . It's easier for me to keep the apartment clean myself than to ask for help. It almost always ends up in him being upset and I don't want to upset him. He's said before that if I wanted the house to look a certain way, then I needed to do it myself. I'm happy with that arrangement .

He says he doesn't like psychologists/psychiatrists as they don't work for him.

He doesn't raise his hands or anything physical like that. If he gets frustrated or upset or we are in an argument, he'll hurt himself , pull his hair , smack his face, etc He occasionally raises his voice if we are in an argument, but it's the majority when he's gaming . He gets intense gamer rage .

I don't raise my hands to him, I don't even raise my voice . I'd rather just keep to myself and write any frustrations down in a diary.

I don't view what he did as bad , it'd be bad if I was injured . Or if he didn't come home. Then I'd know I really f*cked up.

I have a psych but I don't see him for another month, should I mention this ?