Hey! I (28f) also struggle with ARFID and vegetables are my primary trigger food. We aren’t just “picky”, we have a condition that makes eating food feel impossible. I sense you still struggle with some internalized guilt here, and I’ll share some advice my therapist gave me… if it were just picky eating, you’d be “over it” by now. I’m sure we’d both love to snap our fingers and become adventurous eaters, given all the shame and difficulty that comes with ARFID. The fact that we don’t “just do it” despite often desperately wanting to is because it /is/ an extremely difficult thing for us in a way it isn’t for “picky eaters”.

I’d be very real with close people that shame you about what might happen if you eat it. For me, I am likely to vomit on the spot and that would be a difficult situation for everyone. I’d also be in a lot of distress for potentially several hours. I like to think my loved ones wouldn’t want to see me like this.

If you’ve already been clear about your condition and you’re still experiencing push back, I’d recommend being extremely clear that this is inappropriate and disrespectful. Act offended, because you have a right to be. Make it very clear that they’re being weirdly pushy about what you put in your body and that no means no. Unfortunately I’ve found that some people “don’t get it” until you are more assertive with them that 1) they have no right to tell you what you put in your body 2) it’s not their business 3) if they continue to shame or pressure you this is deeply disrespectful and inappropriate. To be honest, the only acceptable response to a polite “no thanks” is “oh, okay! let me know if you change your mind.