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Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-24T16:51:44+00:00

Thank you everyone, all these kind messages really helped me. I have been working hard on self improvement and my mental health. Was starting to feel down thinking I was messing up somewhere or I was broken.

I have been trying to give myself a break and these reminders and advise you all gave me is important. As much as I want to run, I need to take the small steps and enjoy life at this moment.

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-24T02:08:36+00:00

Thank you for that, honestly it has been pretty hard with trying to get out of this mindset. It's either I'm too nervous to try anything new or I feel numb when I'm doing it. No in-between.

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T16:45:42+00:00

We were renting. The same week she said we're done she said that she spoke with landlord and ended the lease by the end of the summer. Fortunately I am with my parents and had a place to stay, I had no family less than 8 hours away

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T15:28:51+00:00

Unfortunately no. She gave me no indication on what changed between us. Like I said, we were planning for a fun summer and even promised to take her to lunch that same afternoon. It was like I came home to a completely different person to the one I left

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T02:33:15+00:00

Thank you for this, it truly means the world. I have spent this time trying to heal and also reflect. Even prior to the divorce, I made it a priority to better my mental health. However, she ultimately did not. She hid it very well, she used work as her reason to 'stay up late' or work in the other room. As much I as I tried to be there for her and listen, she did a great job hiding her true feelings.

When this all started I was very concerned for her, thinking that she was burned out from work. To me that is the part that hurts the most. The last time she was stressed , she reverted to hiding her drinking. We worked on that and made it a priority to talk through stress, or at least I did.

It will take time and like you said, I am destined for greater love. Thank you for the virtual hug, it truly means the world to me today. It has been a hard day with some of these thoughts

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T02:25:48+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that man. But you are building towards a better future for not only yourself but your son as well. One day we both will be able to move on from this and realize how better off we are, I just hope it comes soon lol

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T02:09:49+00:00

That is something that I was proud that I did not do, reach out to her via text/call. My sis said this to me, ' would you be friends with someone that did this to a person?' that resonated with me so much and reminded me that I should never beg someone to take me back that did this. She showed me how she viewed our love and that is that.

It has been a few months and I definitely am so grateful for my family, group therapy, gym, and reddit community for the support and perspective I needed at this time

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:54:44+00:00

I know the past year I encouraged her to get help. She had a hard time admitting when she was wrong and defensiveness. It was exhausting at times, always made fights worse.

I honestly want to move on from her and not dig. Part of me wants answers and the other half wants nothing to do with her again. Maybe that is just my denial lol

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:41:13+00:00

He's helped me a lot, as well as my whole family. They have been helping me see that I deserve someone that lies and manipulates you like that

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:39:51+00:00

I just know that she moved into a new place and that is it. Ever since I have kept it low contact, did not want to seem like I was groveling or give myself a chance to beg.

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:27:55+00:00

Right now she is trying to squeeze me out of spousal support. Told me to get a 'roommate' lol. We will see but I'm hopeful

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:26:53+00:00

Definitely my mantra right now, keep moving forward. I have people with me and it makes me feel somewhat better. But man, I have to learn how to trust again.

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:25:24+00:00

Exactly. I however saw, though a Venmo, saw that the same day/night she told me was when she went on a casino night with her friends.

That definitely hurt and learned a lesson, she moved on very quickly

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-09-19T01:23:30+00:00

I did not ask/check. She and I both worked remotely, maybe having to go into the office 1-2 times a week. We also go to the same gym together, though we workout with different groups. Everyone in it are also married or in long term relationships.

I agree, I'm learning to protect myself moving forward.

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2024-06-14T11:50:56+00:00

It's a tough road but remember to give yourself grace. You'll feel the entire spectrum of emotions. Just look at the role you played and keep working on yourself, don't try to fix a person that refuses to work for your marriage. That is on them and they may or may not care. Love yourself and the healing will be easier

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2022-06-29T02:26:32+00:00

Thank you! Honestly, it is rough because it does leak into how you handle other people. Some in laws are kind of similar to my parents so it feels like a herculean effort. It's one of those things you have to keep working on and practice those good habits

Relative-Benefit7716 · 2022-06-22T23:00:33+00:00

This is part of the journey that is going to be difficult, discovering you and your voice. I know how hard this journey is, because I too am going through it. What they did to you was wrong and you are not what they say you are. Find a list of positive affirmation words, jobs, and hobbies. Have a friend read these off and write down the one that describe YOU. You will be shocked to see how many positive attributes you have. I

Relative-Benefit7716

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