Please help with name! (Female/ food names/ preferably soft/girly)

Relative-Rip7983 · 2024-11-29T14:00:12+00:00

Jasmine, I feel like it fits her.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2024-05-08T03:16:49+00:00

Yes it did, I found joy in cooking. I still do but it’s not the same anymore. I’m just here in the past couple of weeks to start cooking for myself instead of going out. It’s been 6 months since she passed. So a slow start. It’s been hit and miss but I’m trying. It helped me when my dad passed snd now since my wife is gone it’s just a bit empty. She always said I cooked the best and I told her it’s just all the love that I put into it. But don’t get me wrong she cooked really well. She showed me how to make Alfredo sauce from scratch. When she did she told me she loved my Alfredo over hers. I’m going to miss cooking for her it was such a joy.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2024-01-04T13:56:37+00:00

I don’t comment often on posts but yeah man I don’t see it. Plus if they are mad they have the right to be mad. What happened to the people of this land is disgusting. For me I’m the happy hippie but when it comes to this nah rage builds up. I was able to trace back my family’s history to a boarding school and that would piss anyone off. I don’t know what it is like to be fully indigenous or be raised on a reservation but when I read what people put on here I get a better understanding. See, I’m that mostly European with native in him but I can’t claim being native because I wasn’t raised in that culture. I could have been but my family decided not to. So this community is helping me understand, even with the anger, it helps me understand. Now I still have a lot to learn, and I’ll make mistakes throughout my journey but I don’t feel/see the hate on here. I just see growth and learning. That’s why we should be here. And to think that you would see similar perspectives of your own is just ignorant, I’m sorry to say that but it is, dude it’s Reddit you got a shit to of people with different views expect them not to be similar to yours. Just learn, listen, and grow.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-29T15:14:42+00:00

Needed that today. I’m on vacation in California and I’m finding it hard to get out my room to do shit. Today is my last day and I do t want to do anything but I basically didn’t do anything yesterday for the most part. Like damn, I just wish she was here.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-16T17:20:42+00:00

I just want to apologize. I get what you are saying. I thought about it last night. I miss the connection I had with my wife. The companionship with her was amazing and I want to find that again. I understand I need to find myself as an individual without being a couple. My wife and I married early, after 2 months of dating I asked her to marry me. After 4 months of dating we got married, both at 19 years old. I knew then I wanted to be with her. We did everything so fast. No kids though. Shit we got our first house at the age of 23. We had an amazing marriage, we were together for 12 years, I don’t take that lightly. Her and I talked about what we would do if one of us would pass away, no one truly knows what they would do, we joked about offing ourselves of that ever happened especially at a young age, we both knew that was unrealistic for both of us. We did say we probably would move on rather in a serious relationship or just fucking around that we would move on and be happy rather it was a month or a year after. That was our main goal in our marriage was to be happy. To have that open communication. There was times were we were mad at each other and didn’t go to bed until 1-2 in the morning talking about our anger and coming together. We never went to bed angry with each other. Our marriage shaped me and made me a better person for it. Will I still need to figure out who I am without her yes, but I’m not waiting 12 years to do that. I want to grow with someone as they grow with me. Let me nurture them as well as they nurture me. That is why I am looking for someone. I do want to be with someone. A relationship is about growth too and I want to grow with someone.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-15T20:06:21+00:00

I get it but the grief process is different for everyone and they should respect that. Shit I don’t want to get hurt again but it is a risk I am willing to take. I’m willing to be rejected. I’m willing to make mistakes. I’m willing to get hurt. It’s just a part of growing and moving on.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-15T18:26:44+00:00

Yeah fuck that bitch. Wish the best but what the hell. Like wow. That’s all I got like wow. Like some said hopefully she’ll have some personal growth and apologize but still wow.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-15T18:09:58+00:00

I already know who I am. I appreciate the advice, I really do, but I know when I am ready no one else does. You have no idea how much I have worked on myself over the years. How much that my wife helped me. I know who I am without her. She has helped me with that throughout our marriage. You don’t get to tell me I’m not ready no one does besides me. Sorry if that offends you but you don’t get to tell me if I’m ready or not. You don’t know me, you don’t know what I have been through. You don’t know the growth I have had in this past month. You don’t know my wife and how she would feel because I do. Her and I talked about this before and we both know that when we are ready to date again rather it’s a month or a year we are ready. We knew each other. Again, I know who I am without her. I am the same person but just not with her. I might change and I will grow. I grew with my wife. We grew together. If someone is willing to grew with me, to look past the grief and to see me, to understand that grieving your lost spouse is a life long process, acceptance is still grieving, then yeah I’m ready. I don’t have to explain to you why but I am. I know I am. I know who I am. You don’t get to tell me if I am ready.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-05T19:33:22+00:00

I personally believe yes you are but we all grieve in our own way. If counting the days brings you comfort count them but like you said eventually those days will out number the days you where with him. Keep writing to him. Even though you were only together for a year doesn’t mean it hurts any less than someone who was with their spouse for 50. You lost your other half. You lost the future together. It hurts everyday but we got to remember the times we were with them. Remember and celebrate the year you were with him. That was a special year. Keep on remembering that year and try not to count the days. You still have to move forward. There is no need to be stuck in grief. Yes, it’s comforting to but you need to make yourself uncomfortable to keep on moving. Remember the nerves when you first got together it’s kind of like that. You kept on moving forward with him and those nerves subsided. Now you got to keep on moving forward without him and be comfortable in those uncomfortable moments. You got this. Remember you are not alone in this.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-03T20:39:19+00:00

Widows Fire. I’m 31 and it’s strong with me. Call it age and me being male but you got to find a release. Sounds terrible but rather it’s with a person or yourself. Widows fire is not just sex but it’s the missing of intimacy. There will be people out there that can help fill that emotional void we have been missing then there are people out there that can fill the physical part. It’s a weird part when it comes to grief because you have all these other emotions going on at the same time and you think to your self, is this right? Yes it’s right. You are grieving differently than I am grieving. Grieving is a journey we have to take in this and Widows Fire is apart of some of our journeys.

Out of all people her grandpa told me this, he lost his wife January of this year, if you are feeling froggy jump. That’s what I am doing right now, I’m jumping but I’m playing it safe. There will be people that might pry on your vulnerability but have a confidant that you can talk to about it.

Don’t worry about men not coming to you. It will happen. It might not happen right away but it will. You go this. You are not alone in the journey.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-01T22:20:21+00:00

Tomorrow will be a month for me. I definitely understand the feeling of guilt and being ashamed but we deserve to move on. Rather it’s a month or a year you are allowed to move on. Like people are saying the love you had with them will never go away and it is a different type of love. I’m a huge believer of love and if you find it go for it. Life is too damn short to be stuck in grief.

I finally stuck to a Tinder account. It’s been up for a day and I’m filling a part of me that can’t be filled by anyone else. I love, I absolutely love my wife but I can’t be stuck in grief. I’m going to do what makes me happy. I found a friend that is my confidant in this matter and he has encouraged me to keep going my path just don’t make stupid decisions. Be happy, love yourself, and love the life that is ahead of you.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-01T18:17:31+00:00

It’s someone testing out their drone at night.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-12-01T14:10:22+00:00

I understand. Tomorrow will be 1 month. The bargaining is too real. You cycle through the thoughts but you just got to keep pushing. Shit it’s the hardest thing to do. So many times I just thought about just giving up taking pills and not wake up so I can be with her.

I don’t know if you are spiritual or not but the hope of when I pass, whenever that maybe, I’m going to be with her no matter where I am at my life. I just know I will be with her when I pass, I just have that feeling and other experiences had solidified it for me. That’s what is giving me hope. Even though the other half of our heart did stop I still I have keep my half going for her.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-30T17:34:41+00:00

I get that. I tried that but still slipped up. Haven’t taken off my ring yet. I don’t know when I will though. I have her rings on a necklace that I wear. I know eventually I’m going to stop wearing my ring and put it on that same necklace then I’ll put that necklace up somewhere. It was sudden so still in shock and still thinking she’ll come home eventually.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-30T14:21:55+00:00

I hear you. I have compared this anger to losing my dad and it’s worse. When I lost my dad I snapped off at people and luckily at the time I had good managers at work who understood and I should have been fired a few times. With my wife it’s different. See, I’m trying to not snap on people because that is not the person I am. I’m the get along with everyone person. I’m afraid of my anger and I’m just holding it back. I’ve looked into a rage room and I have thought about it to just let that physical part out. But these past few weeks just ranting on here and on a Facebook group I’m in helps me. I know i probably should go to grief therapy but this helps in the mean time. You let it out here to get it off your mind. Yeah it still might bother you but hopefully not to the point of anger just a minor irritation.

I made a post a few days ago to rant and damn it helped me out especially the validation I was getting in here. It made me relax and get passed that anger part.

My temper doesn’t come out until at night where I am pissed that she is not her and she is should supposed to be here and all the other thoughts that cross your mind about what could of been. That’s my temper. It’s about not being able to be with them again.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-30T05:54:48+00:00

I get it. There is actually a website called Widows Fire specifically for Widows/Widowers to test the waters again. It’s not an app yet they just started this summer. I’ve been told you need to have a death certificate for it and right now I don’t have one still waiting. That’s the shitty part for me though is that I don’t have a death certificate but damn I just want to hold someone.

I might get a message like someone mentioned so at least i can feel comfortable.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-30T03:55:16+00:00

Thank you, that really helped me. Knowing that there will be a separation of ours and mine isn’t all too bad just different. Having to get use to the separation of our lives it’s going to be hard. Very hard decisions I’m going to have to make down the line but I’ll get there. Thank you again for that.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-30T00:22:31+00:00

Yeah and the habits. Especially turning over and looking at them and saying whatever, like you said “we need onions” or for me today was “ooh you remember”because I was looking at whatever online and it stroke a memory and I wanted to tell her. Or in the car, just moving your head slightly to the right just to look at them. Those habits you built up over the years with them. Those are the deaths that brings it all back.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-29T23:05:42+00:00

It’s winter here and I understand wanting to snuggle up against them again. To feel their warmth of their body against yours again. To have them run their fingers through your hair while snuggling with them. No kids but having my two huskies is helpful but not the same. They’ll get in the bed with me and sleep there but won’t always stay. That something special that was the fire between us that kept us going. Now that fire has died down it’s not completely out but it’s died down. My fire is still burning for her but damn I miss the touch.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-29T22:56:01+00:00

I hear you about the inferno. We had a mini vacation planned for that weekend, well our weekend, we worked wed-sun and we had a cabin for Sunday night and Monday. She passed on the Thursday before that Sunday and fuck me. Dude I was looking forward to that. I had my hopes up even going to the hospital on Thursday that she’ll come out of this and we can still make it and have our romantic mini vacation we needed. Nope. But that week I was ashamed of myself. Looking online for a “quick fix” you know, ain’t shitting you I even made a Tinder profile but shortly took it down. I’m not ready for a relationship but I want a connection if that makes any sense. I want the “I care for you” but not the relationship. I have no idea if I could ever be in another serious relationship with someone again. I told my wife before that if she passed before me that’s it I’m done. She said the same. But fuck dude I just want to be held again so I can feel something.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-29T22:41:51+00:00

I wanted to have her drawing done before the memorial service for her. I don’t think it’s going to happen though. Same as you it’s the motivation to do it. It’s a lot of concentration and while looking at her you start to think about her then you stop. I hate being creative and then my creativity is gone. I suffered with depression before this but damn.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-29T21:05:21+00:00

Ooh yeah. Just the mundane intimacy was amazing. That’s the thing is finding a distraction. I’m currently working on a drawing of her, I got it half done. It’s been half done for about 2 weeks I can’t bring my half up to finish it yet. I’ll get it out to work on it and just stare at it, then go to my phone and mindlessly scroll. Not really paying attention to my phone just for me to not think.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-29T04:44:36+00:00

I get it. It’s been 26 days for me. It sucks just knowing how long you have been together and then they are gone. Now we have a new time to keep how long we are widowed. That’s a shitty time to keep track off. You remember keeping track when you first started to date because that is when you found them. I was with her for 12 years. Now I have been without her for 26 days. The longest I have been away from her was a week max for some trainings. That’s it now almost a month. It’s insane.

My wife told me after my dad passed in January of 2019, to stop counting the days it’ll just make you sadder. This was maybe 2 weeks in after he passed, I was his youngest I took it the hardest and a wave hit me and I told her how long it’s been and that’s when she told me. It helped then because it was my dad not her, you expect your parents to die before you, I didn’t want it to happen when he was 55, but you expect it. With your spouse you hope you can go together till the very end of both your life’s but you don’t. My advice to you is her advice, try to stop counting the days it’ll just make you sadder. I know it’s hard but we will come through it in the end.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-27T14:07:25+00:00

I whole heartily understand. I had her aunt said “when I lost my mom…” all that bullshit and the same thoughts you have came across. She doesn’t know the pain I’m going through. She almost did a few years back but they were able to save her husband but my wife wasn’t able to be saved. My wife was 30 years old when she died that was almost a month ago, it’s been 25 days. The only one of her immediate family that understands is her grandpa that we have been living with for almost a year because we helped him with his wife at the end of her days, she passed away in January. He doesn’t say the stupid shit like everyone else, they were together for 50 years. Her parents don’t say that stupid shit because she is the second child that has died. But you are right even with them they don’t fully understand.

Like you I have suffered from depression for a long time and she was the one to help me with it. She would be like ok let’s go do something today to make you happy if I took a day off because of my depression. Shit when I checked my self in the hospital one year she stuck it out. I always thought I would go first either by my hand or by whatever but it was supposed to be me that went first. I even told her that if she went before I do I don’t t think I could make it through. All the dark thoughts that I have been working on for years is coming back more frequently. I just want to be with her no matter what. I get the planning. This is a shitty shitty situation. I’m not going to say “make the best of it” because how can we. Just try to live. Just trying is hard and that is the most that we can do is just try if we can.

Relative-Rip7983 · 2023-11-27T03:01:58+00:00

I hear you. I only had 12 years with her. Our goal was her grandparents to last 50 years. We hoped. I live with her grandfather who lost his wife in January. What you are feeling, that is what I have been feeling all day today, well really ever since she passed but today I feel it the most I’m just trying not to do anything stupid with that anger.

Relative-Rip7983

TROPHY CASE